I don't hide it :)

yupp exactly..My friend Ryan always says " I don't have diabetes ..Diabetes has me!" and that right there opened my mind.

I was like that too when i was younger

haha sometimes i wish i hid it...i was at a restaurant last week and my friend goes "hows your blood sugar?" and i said "i'm high" and pulled out a syringe and a woman nearby with some children goes "there are children here! take you illict drugs elsewhere!" hahaha i probably should start saying "my blood sugar is high" instead of "im high" haha

ahaha that's the fun moments though i do that all the time

I don't hide it either, although I learned to warn people when I'm going to test, because some people really ARE needle or blood-phobic. I just tell them I'm going to test, and to look away if they don't like to see blood or needles.

But I think it's really important for the people around you to know you have diabetes. I'm here today, because my friends came looking for me after I didn't show up for a picnic last year. They found me comatose and got me to the hospital -- the ER folks told them that if they hadn't brought me in, I'd have been dead by morning. And since I live alone, it was them or no one.

We all wish we could live our lives with no health problems or risks, but it just ain't so, and being open about your diabetes is the best way to protect yourself!

I was not being critical. Everyone here has had BAD moments in their life with D. I was also 9 and running home to drink gallons of water and pee my "" out in 1961. Between 9 and 18, I was in a hospital maybe 20 times, because thats how they got Ds back on track, and I was a kid, hormonal teenager. I was even in a hospital room with my mother who discovered she was T2 when checking the TesTape to make sure it was working.

We all deal with it. It is how it affects our real lives that matters. And, I am sorry, but it still sucks. And I have officially dealt with it for 50 years. I appreciate your attitude and it will work for you. Keep on keepin' on!

Yes Mike I was fired too for the same reason. I'm thankful NOW for the ADA. Funny isn't it that many ppl don't understand that b/f it u could get fired or refused work at a place b/c u were diabetic but it's sooooooo true.

Hi Russy, I like your discussion. My daughter is 15, just diagnosed last Nov, so one year with T1. Since the start of high school this year, she seems like she doesn't want to act like she has diabetes at school. She doesn't test at school, even though she did last year. She just got the pump this year when school started & I think that helps her "hide" her diabetes. No one knows if she never pulls out a meter or shots, right? I'm really working on this with her. I tracked down some other T1 kids at her school & introduced her to one of them. I think she feels alone, but we don't have a support group here for teens. I talked to her about maybe making a club for the kids at school. What do you think? How long does it take to realize testing is something you have to do on a regular basis, even in front of other people?

The club at school sounds like a good idea, and as for testing at school it might just be something she might just have to realize she has to do it,or be pushed to do it,and being one the pump you really need to monitor your sugars so that you don't go 4hrs with insulin and go low or you eat and have a low sugar and take insulin on top of that making it lower,or you might get a high blood sugar..It might just be something you might want to push a little bit.

I think you ought to have her join here! How did she react to your suggestion of the club?

If there's a school club, it may mean that there's "yearbook photos" and other p/r that may cross some sort of teenager threshold. I have a 13 year old and there's sort of some things we can do and some things that we can't do in terms of getting her to do stuff and I suspect that a "disease club", maybe not with her but with other kids. There's one of her friends at school who's a cheerleader wears her pump on a thigh band on her leg w/ shorts, etc. Totally out in the open, I suspect a club would cross a lot of their thresholds? Sometimes other social barriers can get in the way of common interests. I have run into very few fellow travellers although I am super open, have a tattoo w/ syringes, fly my "pump flag" on my belt, test all over hell's half-acre, etc.

There's other young people hanging out here and while many of them may be wierdos in fur hats, the "checks and balances" of the community seem to help "self-police" things to keep flamewars down.

She seemed ok with the idea of a club, maybe if we kept it kind of casual. I know I'm pushing her "teenager" issues. I'm also trying to get her to write a story about the T1 kids at school for her school newspaper. It's part of my plan to get her talking about T1 and connecting with the other kids. I've been bugging her about that for 2 months though. Acidrock, I got her on TuD last year, but she backed off, I think because some of the kids she was talking to also dropped off & because it's not really facebook-y. Our doctor told me to punish her for not testing because rewards don't work with teenagers. So I have to tell her she can't go out with her friends if I don't see some in-school tests on her meter. This seems awful to me. We're struggling though. She drank a real Coke at school last week because someone served it to her & she didn't want to say she needed Diet-- because *gasp* she has diabetes! Her BG hit 450 because she didn't test & correct at school of course, so she felt sick & tired & came home & slept for hours. And Russy, I just don't think she understands the need for frequent testing yet. That's what we need help with.

I don't know Samsmom maybe the Doc was talking absolutes when there are none. My concern with punishing if there are no blood sugars from school is that it could push her to hate the big D even MORE and backfire. Especially when you have reservations about it to begin with. YOU know your child a whole lot better than that Doc does and therefore are FAR more qualified to say whether rewards will work for YOUR teenager or not. What it really comes down to? This age is difficult for almost any PWD. Why attach additional punishment to it? Surely there has to be another way. Have you asked her what she thinks about it. What kind of solutions she can think of for this problem?

I really like the idea of connecting her with other kids with diabetes. I especially like the idea of writing an article about the Type 1 kids in school. It will get her talking about it and opening up a bit. Once it is out in the open there is no question about saying no to the Coke because that person already know about the diabetes- all she has to say is regular is bad for PWD. When you tell someone you have diabetes you often get follow up questions or a big long story about their grandmother with diabetes etc. and I imagine she wanted to avoid that.

I agree that seems awful. Do you otherwise like the doctor? Presumably junior wouldn't like the doctor (if she knows about that?). Are there other doctor options? If the doctor isn't engaged with her, it wouldn't suprise me that she doesn't do what the doctor says or what you know the plan is. She may be on planet teenager? Maybe a different doctor who could engage better would help? My parents always aimed me at the "best" doc and I had a very good one when I was dx'ed. Sometimes a "cooler" doctor may help?

I wouldn't say "I need diet because I have diabetes" I would say "I need diet because 1) I ordered it and 2) I paid for it". This kind of stuff is not "whining" and if the lunch technician or waitress or other kid does her like that, she needs to learn to have enough self-esteem to say "no thanks".

If she plays softball, does she understand "batting average" and "kicking ■■■"? If her A1C is ok where she is, it may be possible to run up and down and do ok.. I did that for a long time and like to think that I was really good at it, although perhaps my family and I had had enough of me turning into a zombie 3-4 times/ day and feel much better since tightening things up.

I'm not sure about the meeting with other kids in school. If "they" put a stop to hanging on Tu because "it wasn't FB enough" and are not creating a supportive enough environment for her to test when she eats, I am wondering if there's "internal" pressure from that D cohort of kids to be furtive and secretive? I'd almost say going to D-camp might be a better idea, to get immersed in an environment where testing and taking care of yourself is encouraged? Unfortunately, it's not gonna be "camping season" for a long time. I spent most of my d-life being pretty much totally alone with it. I was very "out" though because I was fond of whipping out my "works" to "shoot up" for midnight Denny's runs in high school or drunken burrito runs in college. .

I wouldn't say "regular [coke] is bad for PWD" though, as sometimes it's "just what the doctor [would] order"? I think that the big misconception is that diabetes is about aiming at "up and down" when it should be considered and explained as a "balance" thing.

I've been thinking about Sam for a while before I respond. I was never a kid with diabetes, but I WAS a high-school teacher. Peer pressure is ENORMOUS at that age, and MUCH more important than what any grown-up says. That's why she probably reacted the way she did to the page here -- what the other kids said must have made a big impression on her.

So I think you and she need to find ways to cope while respecting her personal boundaries. So, for example, although most people feel yuck about testing in the bathroom, going into a stall and testing in private might be a way to get around her feelings of not wanting to be "out". Just saying "I'm going to the restroom, be right back" might be less embarrassing to her.

Also, practicing lines that will get her out of embarrassing situations innocuously might help too. She could have just taken a few sips of the Coke, and then, if anyone asked, she could say, "I'm really not thirsty" or some such. Just because food is put in front of you doesn't mean you have to eat it (although I personally am not a good example of that, LOL!!) You can nibble a little, and then say you're really not hungry.

I am adamantly opposed to "punishing" her, because punishment only sets up feelings of rebellion. And diabetes rebellion is the LAST thing you want. High school kids are far more open to reasonable discussion than many people think, but it needs to be a mutual journey of questioning and thinking rather than being TOLD what to do. Their biggest emotional need is to develop an independent adult personality, and because they are not fully formed, they WILL make mistakes, but helping them and guiding them to autonomous decision making is the thing they need the most. Lecturing and scolding absolutely don't work, but brainstorming problem-solving while giving them freedom to express whatever thoughts come to mind without being judgmental is invaluable. And if they come up with something unworkable, give them a what-if scenario, and ask them how they would handle that, and guide them toward understanding. DON'T simply say "THAT won't work!!".

I hope this doesn't come across as a lecture to YOU! It's a very fragile time in Sam's life, and if you can get her through it gently, safely and intelligently, you can help make sure she is well prepared for adult life. WITH diabetes! :-)

Natalie, AcidRock, Mossdog -- you guys are the best!! I have been struggling with this for months & you have given me all kinds of ideas. I hate the punishment plan. That doctor even told me that if Sam loves softball, tell her she can practice all she wants but she can't play a game if she doesn't test! I called my sister crying: "why do I have to punish my kid with diabetes?" You all are right. I need to talk to Sam about what will work for her. Something (high school) made her uncomfortable with it. Practicing lines is a great idea, Natalie. AcidRock, I'm starting to look at camps for next summer (possibly uncool for a 16-yr-old?) And MossDog, I'm going to keep pushing her to write an article about high school kids with T1 for her journalism class! I was afraid I was hounding her on that & maybe even that wasn't a great idea. Russy, sorry to hi-jack your discussion. You would be a great help for Sam :)

Hi Samsmom, It's been a while since I visited Tudiabetes and you were one of the first people I checked on. I'm sorry Sam is having such a hard time. It seems that the kids either don't care about their diabetes or hate it. We've seen both situations with some newly diagnosed boys (14 years) in Raleigh. The turning point for Reece was diabetes camp. That was when he met kids like him who were living with Diabetes. I know we've talked about this before and Sam wasn't interested but I think this year she needs to go, soon she will be too old. There is a camp serving KY for up to 15 years old, plus there are some camps in other states that go even higher than that. Go to ADA website and search camps. Since she is somewhat open to a group at school, she may just see the value of camp this year even though she wasn't interested last year. There are plenty of cool, athletic kids who go to camp and she will be in a cabin with other girls her exact age for a week. Hopefully she will connect with someone so she doesn't feel alone. We have a small group of 6 or 7 kids that are all 13/14 that meet once a month. We typically go bowling and the parents chat about diabetes while the kids just have fun. They don't talk about it alot, but they all test and EAT and EAT and EAT! They have a great time. It's not for everyone, and some teens don't want to be set up on 'play dates', so it can be tricky. Does your local JDRF chapter have a mentor program? Maybe you could find someone a little older than Sam who is also an athlete who can talk to her. good luck!

I'm going to look into some camps in the area -- we found one in Indiana that might be a possibility if we can work it into softball season. Sam will turn 16 next July, so I keep telling her she's got to get used to testing as a routine or she won't be able to drive! I'm going to keep trying to get her connected with the other T1 kids at her school too. Last year we were told she was the only student with diabetes, but we've found 3 others -- I think they just didn't fill out the forms in the office like we did. I don't think our JDRF has a mentor program, but I'll check. Every time I've tried to do something through that office, it hasn't worked out :(

Hi samsmom, I am new to tudiabetes, I have been reading the blog on occasion but I never signed in and replied or posted anything. I came across your blog and your story is very similar to mine with my daughter Rylie. Thanksgiving week 2009 was the day that forever changed our lives, my 15 year old daughter Rylie was diagnosed with T1, as with you and many others it was a complete shock! As her father I took it very hard, much harder than her, two years later and I still struggle with the diagnosis because there was nothing I could do to protect her from it. My daughter was finishing her fall season of travel softball when she was diagnosed, we had our biggest tournament in LA that week, she was able to go and play but she could not pitch. A few months later after she gained her weight back and her strength she collided with another player at another tournament in LA and broke her collar bone, her season was finished. So similar to you daughter and your family we felt like the challenges just kept coming our way with the T1 diagnosis and then broken collar bone two months later. I cannot remember hurting so much for my daughter, but she always stayed positive. Two years later and my daughter has not let T1 get in the way, she exercises everyday and plays a lot of softball. She travels all around California playing and last year played at the ASA 16U national championship tournament in Tennessee. Just recently Rylie got her driving permit so she is driving under our supervision until she turns 16 in February. Our stories are very similar with our daughters; I would love to share information that can help our young athletes as they journey through high school playing softball with T1 and into college. It is a tough but I believe they can and will be an inspiration to others.