I didn’t want it to come actually, and if it came, I wanted it to be a big day for me. It was a normal day, I kept myself busy, so I wouldn’t think about it.
Congratz to you as well. 
Yeah, that’s what I’m looking for a doctor whom I can trust.
Thank you
I kinda did the same, I just kept myself busy and went about what I would normally do, outside of talking about it a little as I mentioned.
That’s perfectly ok. We’re still newbies at this.
Your previous experience with your doctor is exactly what I’m going through.
I’ll try to do what said, hoprfully it’ll work.
Thank you
That’s really good for you ( having a doc whom you feel comfortable around).
I hope you sorted out those cardiac problems, Get well soon.
It’s good to hear your results are nice ;).
keep it up :).
Hi Bayanikins,
Feeling sad and overwhelmed is natural, especially early on. I was like that for a long time, a lot of which resulted from how little I understood about my disease (Type 1, going on 14 years now).
I’d strongly suggest you get a copy of Using Insulin by Walsh, Roberts, and Varma. It’s cheap and will give you a lot of excellent information. Information that will help you feel more empowered to take on this disease.
Cheers and good luck,
Mike
Thanks, I’ll try to get it
Good luck to you as well.
Bayan.
I would bet that almost everyone at TU knows exactly what you are feeling and talking about. Diabetes can be tough and has many ups and downs. Just remeber that there are people who have gone through it and remember to take good care of yourself. Diabetes was the hardest for me during my teen years when I wanted to fit in and be the same as everyone else. I really wish I would of had a an outlet like TU in my teen years. Also, as others have mentioned Diabetes camp can be a wonderful experience that I would recomend you try.
As for your doctor: As others have said you need a Dr that you can trust and communicate with because it will directly impact your level of care. When I was your age I would go to the Dr and not say much and then try to follow his advice. Now (with a little more age and hopefully wisdom) I will tell them the Dr what I want to do (reducing daily carb intake, 2 hour vigorous bike ride) and the Dr and I will work out what is the best course of action. I also ask my endo many questions: what is the min/max amounut of carbs I should eat per meal? Hypoglycemia unawareness and forgetfullness? I would suggest you be more open and forward with your Doctor, because it will benefit you. I also hope that your parents will listen to you about your concerns for your current Dr and you find one that you can work with.
I also want to add that concerning diabetes: Knowledge is Power. Learn as much as you can and be proactive with your care. (One of the reasons for all my questions).
Thank you, it means a lot :).
Yes, I’ll try to workthings out with my parents regardig my Dr.
I’ll also look for camps and books about diabetes.
Thanks again
Good point, Acidrock. I also do not consider diabetes as THE defining thing in my life, it is an aspect of my life. So I carry on as a wife, a mother, a worker, and an artist. I considered putting an entry up on my blog about my one year anniversary but nah. I need to remember it yes, for medical reasons, but other than that being diabetic to me now is like having a mole somewhere on my body, it’s the way my body now is, and so what? Yes it annoys me but I take care of it and keep going on with my life. I just can’t let it take over my every thought, as I don’t let anyone or anything do that, at least not for long!
First of all… you NEED to talk to your dad about your doctor. This is YOUR diabetes, not his. You need to feel comfortable with your doctor. You need to have good communication and a good relationship with him/her. There are some old fashioned ones who don’t understand, especially at your young age and then there are some cool ones who really care about you and love their jobs. You just have to find the right one.
Second of all, sweetie… you really need to accept your diabetes. It sucks, I know that. I was diagnosed when I was 10. No one really knows what you are going through unless you talk to them. You can’t keep it inside forever. Thank you for opening up to us… that is the first step. I have a FB page (if you have a Facebook page) and there is a link through my Tudiabetes page to it. If you need to talk; yell; vent… I will listen and try to give you advice. You should not feel alone. <3
Write down your fears (if only for yourself). Write down how being a diabetic makes you feel. Realize that millions of children/teens/young adults and old people have diabetes. There is no cure… but maybe someday there will be. Until then though, unfortunately, it is apart of whom you are now and there is nothing that you can do about it. Instead of feeling like a prisoner to your body, accept who you are.
Keep talking to us on here. Don’t feel weird about not crying… some people just don’t cry. However, if you keep ignoring your feelings about diabetes, you’ll always feel confused. You need to empower yourself by learning as much as you can about diabetes. Ignoring the things that you might be afraid of learning about diabetes, will not make them go away, instead, they will make them worse. Every complication from diabetes is preventable through good control of your sugars. My grandfather has been a diabetic for 45 years and he has more energy at 80 than I do at 26.
What is it that you don’t like about your doctor? Surely your father will understand; he does love you after all. Just talk to him and tell him that this is YOUR choice. Don’t be afraid of letting your father down that you don’t like the doctor. Do not feel guilty about anything when it comes to your diabetes. Diabetes has made me STRONG. It has made me a leader. It has made me a realist. People don’t pity you… they admire you for your strength and courage. People who pity diabetics are ignorant… and ignorant people should not matter to you.
Ya know… when I was first diagnosed (at age 10) it devastated me. I became a recluse. I lost all my friends because I turned inwards. I didn’t want anyone to know that I was a diabetic because I felt “diseased”. I felt like there was something wrong with me. All the other children in my class who did know because I was out of school for a while at first because I was in the hospital, thought that it was contagious and weren’t afraid to tell me about their parents telling them to stay away from me.
16 years later, I am still a diabetic and I still have those memories. I didn’t have “tudiabetes” and I didn’t have a lot of friends back then. But, I did have my mother and father. Through their strength and through their understanding, I got through it and still continue to get through it with them and my husband (and my two children) by my side. My parents were my best friends back then because they were the only ones who understood.
This is only my advice and you don’t have to take it… but I would start talking to your parents. They love you unconditionally. My mom gave me a journal when I was first diagnosed and that helped a lot. It was my private little world that I could vent into and tell all my fears, and no one ever read them.
Life gets easier honey… It really does. I still have low blood sugars and I still have high blood sugars. I still have days where I wish I wasn’t a diabetic (and I still cry myself to sleep sometimes… everyone does). But- it gets easier, I promise. But, it only gets easier if you accept it.
Welcome to the club. Many of us have been dealing with D for a LONG time and we still feel the same way. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
Diabetes is a condition that requires a lot of self-management and self-advocacy. You need to start learning how to advocate for yourself NOW because soon you will be an adult out on your own and will have no choice but to manage things yourself if you’re going to live independently (assuming that’s the goal 
This means speaking up about how you’re feeling and what options you want to exercise. I don’t know your parents or your specific situation, but you should go to them (as an adult) and say, “Look, this is my disease and it’s something that I will soon have to manage on my own. I want a doctor that I can relate to and who I feel will help ME learn how to manage this disease. And the endo I have now just isn’t working for me.”
You’re right, the big D isn’t going away. But the GOOD news is that we have it so much better than generations past, and there is so much knowledge out there accessible via the Internet. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. It will help you deal with doctors (at their level) and manage your diabetes as independently as possible. READ EVERYTHING YOU CAN. Yes, there are some scary complications associated with diabetes, but most are manageble and some are preventable. Think Like a Pancreas is a good book to read and there are tons of POSITIVE sites out there that will give you some real insight into how other people are living with D (check out my fav, www.sixuntilme.com).
Educate yourself. Read as many posts here as you can. Read books. When your parents see that you are possibly even more knowledgeable than they are, they may get a little less overprotective and let you take the wheel.
Also, lead by example. Show your parents that you are in control of this. Maybe if they see that you’re doing everything in your power to control your D, they will give you some more control.
I was dx at 14 and I remember these same feelings. The fear of looking weak if you express negative feelings is reinforced by everyone’s comments like “look on the bright side, at least you can control it” or “it could be worse”…or they brag on how well you are dealing with it…which only implies that expressing any negative emotiions would be a bad thing.
I know people who surround us at dx are trying to be positive. But wouldn’t it be helpful if someone just said “this is going to be hard and a big change. There will be days along this journey that you will just want to throw in the towel, that’s normal. Together, we are going to find ways to cope with these rough spots when they come. You can do this and we are all going to be here to help you!!”
Few of us are lucky enough to hear those words from our friends and family…but we are pretty darn lucky to hear them from our TuDiabetes friends and family!!! Use this site a place to express feelings and vent your frustrations. We understand.
Thank you, it means so much ti me knowing that others went throgh what I’m going through now.
I’ll try my best to accept it and control it well.
No, I don’t have a Facebook account, I deactivated mine, but I’ll take your offer :).
Thanks again, Bayan.
I’ll checkout the site you gave me, and I should really learn more about D.
Yes, I wan’t to be independent and handle it on my own, which they think I can’t. I hope I prove them wrong.
Thank you
Thank you, this site really is a family. I’m so glad I found it.
I sure will 
Thanks again, Bayan.
Prove them wrong, if only to p!$$ them off Seriously, you’re going to be a real adult soon and this will all be on you. Yes, it’s hard, but it’s not impossible. If they have any concerns about your ability to handle D on your own, refer them to the many YouTube videos out there where kids as young as 3 and 4 are operating their own pumps and counting carbs.
Also, I try to see D as an opportunity. As much as I hate it some days, I have learned so much from it. It actually gives me a huge feeling of accomplishment/satisfaction to have dealt with health insurance issues and had to obtain supplies I needed when I was un- or underinsured. Sounds crazy, I know, but I learned so much and it has helped me in other areas of my life.
The Big D is yours, not your parents. While they may feel for you and want to protect you, you’ve got a life to live and D is going to be there whether you like it or not!
Yep I got the diagnoses at 10 too.
You sound a little like I felt last May. May A1C was 7.6. I have learned alot from reading the post on hear. Made good choices and bad ones. Still things are looking up after a little over 1 year.
oh, no it doesn’t sound crazy at all. It actually makes a lot od sense.
haha, yeah i’ll try to p!$$ them off 
thanks.