I feel ashamed and weak

[Adele1]

I’m a Beginner pole dancer and I am at a studio which I love, never had a low during class and was super proud, I was also proud that I was hiding it from my peers.

However today it happened I felt light headed and went to my locker to test and my friend asked what I was doing and I told her I was T1d and she was like oh fare enough and went back to the pole, I felt ashamed that my secret was out and I felt weak that I was going low and needed a snack to boost me though the class.

I know it’s okay and I should not be ashamed or beat myself up about it, which is why I’m writing it to you a community that understands, thank you for being there for me when I feel like crying

[John_S2]

I am likely the last person one might expect to respond to this. After all, I’m 70 and male … so you are welcome to roll your eyes, dismiss me with “OK, boomer …” and move on.

But, “weak and ashamed”? …. No!!!

You felt low, went to make a measurement, and adjusted with a snack. Brava! Exactly the proper and responsible thing to do.

Did you ignore it? No.

Did you inconvenience the rest of the class … or even need their help? No.

Does your friend care or think less of you? Probably not. If she thinks about it, if fact, she should think more highly of you …

Proud and strong is how you should feel! T1D is, after all, a chronic disease … not a character flaw!

John

[Jules]

Adele1 you are killing it!! Strenuous exercise is SO HARD to manage, much less in secret, I’m amazed you’ve not had a low during class before now. Rock on lady!

Now, as for secrecy and shame - work on letting that go. You are manually keeping yourself alive because of a disease you happened to get. It could happen to ANYONE. It is not easy. Keeping it a secret and feeling weak about it only make things harder for you, and you don’t deserve that. You can’t control whether or not you have diabetes, but you CAN control how you feel about it.

Also, most people don’t know anything about diabetes, especially T1/LADA. Some people are going to be judgmental about it, just like some people are going to judge you for hair color or your clothes. Those are not your people. Let them be unpleasant beneath your notice. If you must think of them at all, try to feel sorry for them.

I hope it was a yummy snack. Now get back in there and dance your pants off!
J

[Dave44]

Being low, in and of itself can precipitate crying. Beyond that, I hope you can get to a place where you aren’t ashamed of your diabetes or any aspect of it, such as being low. We diabetics ROCK!

[CJ114]

Go girl, you are awesome!!! There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I travel the world and anyone I meet that I will spend any time with, I let them know I am diabetic right up front. This started a few decades ago when I was interviewing a candidate for our Shanghai operation and to impress me she had spent hours on a bus to find me a special gift. At that time Coke was just getting established in China and she beamed and handed me a can of Coke. Talk about an embarrassing situation for both of us. That was my Aha moment to remember that most people around the world are sympathetic, and more than willing to help out when needed. Their lack of understanding diabetes can make for tense moments but overall the good times and help I get way overshadows the occasional tough time.

People who judge, bully or criticize you are just showing their own prejudices and ignorance and if you spend much time with these people you will find that they are not happy in life and think that they can improve their life by doing what they can to destroy and belittle yours. Take the high road and feel sorry for these individuals. Live your life to the fullest, full of confidence and you will be a very happy person.

[Adele1]

All the replies are amazing thank you everyone it has really helped, I love coming here and having people tell you exactly what you want to hear

[Edward2]

Work on loving yourself Adele. Treat yourself as you would a friend you love or even a child you care for, anyone you care about, treat yourself that way, imagine everything that happens to you is happening to someone else, in the third person. I know if you (say) saw a love one being discriminated against you would be protective and assertive. If they were hurt or upset, you would treat them with kindess. Imagining yourself as the most import person in your life that you love can really help you treat yourself with the love you both need and deserve.

[Laddie]

I wrote this blogpost 5-1/2 years ago about hiding my diabetes and listened to my friend Kate Cornell write about how she was very open with her diabetes. Fortunately with a Dexcom CGM I don’t have those “embarrassing” moments anymore although I know it could easily happen again tomorrow. Sending hugs.

Type 1/Type 2 Conversations: Friends and Family

[Stemwinder_Gary]

This is my take on being ashamed. I wrote this in 2013, I still feel the same today.

Ashamed?

Do you feel ashamed?.... Well Don’t!.... I repeat Don’t! No one with diabetes should feel ashamed. I have type 2 and to hear some tell it I should be ashamed, well I’m not. I didn’t ask for this disease and I didn’t cause it. Some will say you were overweight so you caused it, Bull Hockey. Being overweight doesn’t cause T2 it only complicates it, but man does it complicate it. If you’re T2 and maybe a little heavy stop being ashamed, be proud, you’re here seeking help and doing something to get …

[futoonfm]

GOOD JOB!
never feel ashamed! I am 28 now, and only a handful of people know I’m T1D… But I choose not to share, not because I’m ashamed, never.
My society believes that being diabetic means I am not fit to do certain jobs or tasks and I don’t want to be stopped because of it. I know I can handle EVERYTHING.

So rock what you do and be proud!!

[Dave44]

I’ve told my co-workers and employers at all jobs and never had a problem as far as the way they treated me. I figure it’s better that someone know in case I were to pass out from low bg which I never did but it was a concern of mine.

[DrBB]

I’ve posted this before but I think it helps. This time I’ll try it as a kind of fairy tale.

At some point, out of the blue, you were diagnosed with this very odd condition: the doctor came in and said, “Well, it’s like this: from now on, and for the rest of your life, you’re a tightrope walker.”

“I’m a what?”

“It’s not so bad: we’ll give you some gear, a balance bar, but you’re just going to have tightrope walk.”

“EWkay… and this is for how long you said?”

“Well, forever actually. 24/7/365. Unless someone comes up with a cure. Five years they keep saying, since 40 years ago.”

“Sheesh.”

“Yup.”

“So you’re serious? I can’t get down, ever? What about going to bed, sleep, that stuff?”

“Yeah, that can be a problem. There are sensors and things. But basically, it is what it is.”

“This is crazy. I wasn’t trained for this! No one can stay up there all the time!”

“That’s true.”

“So sometimes I’m going to fall off, and you’re saying what exactly?”

“Well, like I say, we can provide some gear. Honestly that stuff is much better than it used to be. And there are lots of ways to connect with other tightropers you can talk to about how to do it, which can help. But yeah, you’ll get blown off occasionally.”

“FFS.”

“Exactly. Still there’s an upside. It’s not much, but it’s something.”

“Which is what, exactly?”

“Just that falling off is gonna happen no matter who you are. Even the Great Valerio couldn’t do it 24/7 forever. Perfection isn’t an option. So there’s no shame in it. You just get back up and keep going.”

[Marie20]

Exercise can be so hard to judge sometimes, no matter how much of the same routine we use, too many other things can cause a disruption to our normal patterns. You don’t feel as good, sleep as well, highly stressed all those and more can affect our BG levels.

Wear it proudly as you are showing everyone in your class that a T1 can do the same things as other people, but we are not perfect and might have issues that need addressed sometimes.

[Al115]

You should tell your friends co workers and your associate that you are type 1 you should also wear a medical alert bracelet on your wrist or around your neck. By people not knowing it puts you at a great risk, here’s an example you pass out at where ever you are nobody knows and they call 911 this medical team comes in and has to quickly assess you you don’t want them treating you for a heart attack or stroke be open about this and give guide lines for the people you are with it can and will save your life. This happened to me so it is not just talk. Be proactive

[Susan1]

I’m a journalist, and felt exactly that way the first time I got low while interviewing the chief of staff for our governor. I had to ask him for OJ as I carried nothing with me at the time. (This was well before blood glucose monitors.) He saved me, and I apologized, and we talked about Type I diabetes, and he told me he learned a lot from what I said.

So now I enjoy every opportunity I have to educate others about the disease I’ve had for 66 years.

You may have felt as bad as you did because lows exaggerate emotions (at least for me). Maybe next time you see that friend you might ask her if she has any questions about diabetes! They’re much more fun to answer when your BG is stable.