Do you feel ashamed?.... Well Don’t!.... I repeat Don’t! No one with diabetes should feel ashamed. I have type 2 and to hear some tell it I should be ashamed, well I’m not. I didn’t ask for this disease and I didn’t cause it. Some will say you were overweight so you caused it, Bull Hockey. Being overweight doesn’t cause T2 it only complicates it, but man does it complicate it. If you’re T2 and maybe a little heavy stop being ashamed, be proud, you’re here seeking help and doing something to get this disease under control. That’s something to take pride in.

People with type 2 aren’t the only to feel shame and that’s wrong. Folks of all types can feel shame. There is a lot of baggage that comes with diabetes. There are fears, anxieties, depression and eating disorders that come with D that we didn’t cause or ask for. We need to remember that these are symptoms not weaknesses. Being diabetic 24-7 is the ultimate in stressful, it messes with our minds and causes us harm.

I guess I just needed to vent, when I see people that are ashamed it bothers me because what is a shame is for someone to hide from their needs because they feel ashamed.


Thanks for the POSITIVE reinforcement. You are so right, People are so quick to blame and point fingers and thats what causes a lot of it.
As you can see from my picture I am not a small skinny person.
What you cant see is that I LOOK like I am in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy! Thanks to Die or beat this! aka diabetes.
I am predisposed to a large middrift -thanks to mom and both grandmas-I am doomed.
Hello Men - o -pause! Now its worse -I have comments from total strangers
"oh when are you due?" "That must have been a oops!" and they have touched my stomach. Really!!! While wearing my medical bracelet -I have had comments like" Ya know if you loose some weight you won't be diabetic anymore!"
Call AMA they found a cure !!! lol....
We celebrate birthdays in our large office of 25 people - of course w/ cake and frosting. The kids in my office actually said we didnt bring you cake because you shouldn't have sugar! Once having a low episode -very rare for me-I choose to eat a fun size snickers.... the girls next to me actually said "why are you eating that!" So I have come to the conclusion that it's not shame - I am feeling just ignorant people who just dont get it !!!! Stemwinder I AGREE WITH YOU AND I THINK YOUR BLOG IS AWESOME! Thanks for sharing!!!!


What you say is so true. I've lived with T1 since childhood and even then I was told not to tell anyone I had it, as if I should have been ashamed. I don't know how many diseases carry such a stigma but I know Diabetes does and for what reason that I don't know.

ugh gary i did when i was a kid but now i dare anyone to make me feel embarrased about it lol

I was dx'd in 1974 at age 21 and yes, felt deeply ashamed. All of the people in my college dorm were whispering about it (oh man, it is making me cry to this day). I felt like a total and absolute freak. It didn't help that I went to a family practitioner who knew nothing about db and when I went for my 3 month fasting bg and it was elevated, he'd call my mother and tell her I was "sneaking candy bars".
I always felt like I was on the outside, looking in at those people who were in good health. It was terrible. When I got out of college, the Americans With Disabilities Act had not yet gone through and most job applications asked if you had cancer, diabetes, or mental illness. I got so tired of being rejected that I started lying and didn't check the box, and was hired soon after.
But, current times have helped me with this a great deal. When I saw people online who graciously "own" their diabetes and lead active and productive lives, I
thought "well, if they can do it, so can I".
I have many complications and sometimes I'm ashamed of them. But, currently they are all stable and I am living an amazing vibrant and enjoyable life. I am very proud of that.
I still don't go blabbing around that I have it, but if it comes up in conversation I'll certainly talk about it.


I have never felt ashamed of being PWD. Angry, resentful, defiant, all the usual emotions one cycles through after dx -- but never ashamed. Once I reached the point where I could view it calmly, it became simply a problem to be solved. A life-changing one, to be sure.


Thanks! I needed that! :wink:

1 Like

Same here. I just tell people. We should never be ashamed.

Morning Gary,

While I understand your sentiment, I ask are there times AS diabetics, are there times which SHAME is appropriate???

Not thinking about the t1, t2 divides per se. Thinking in the larger picture, “situational” shame situations? Lows with serious teeth… folks sharing that which was never theirs to share in the first place e. Are there places when/where shame makes sense???

1 Like

I would argue, no. This gets into tricky semantic territory, because “appropriate” means different things to different people, so it becomes really REALLY easy to have an apples-and-oranges, disconnected conversation when talking about this stuff.

Shame, IMHOP, is simply not useful. Either it’s manipulative (peer pressure) or a barrier to action (self-induced). It solves no problems and just gets in the way, making it that much harder to move forward. Action taken to solve a problem is properly directed; action taken to alleviate shame simply plants the seed of resentment–which isn’t useful.



I can understand when people in general feel shame over a social misstep and they alter their behavior so that they act more appropriately when the situation presents itself again. That kind of shame promotes social intelligence and good culture.

But the kind of shame most people talk about when it comes to diabetes is a debilitating, punishing, and persistent emotion that produces no good. In this case it is never appropriate. And it’s not just fanciful thinking. There is actual science that demonstrates the genetic basis of all types of diabetes.


In The World, Shame is actually appropriate when one has hurt someone–or a group of Someones. And then one must acknowledge the shame, apologize, learn. And move on.

I was ashamed for a little bit after dx, until I Learned—well a lot—about the complexity of our Common Scourge. Society at large would like to make shame appropriate for many “classes” of people. We are one. We don’t actually have to agree…

That is up to us…Blessings…And No shame at all. Ever. Just try to live as long as we can because our beloveds want us to----that’s sort of all that really matters, isn’t it?..

1 Like

Hello David,
Emotions are funny things… not easy to control. admire your perspective. Not ashamed myself, yet can envision situations which could be seen that way.

Helpful probably not, but sometimes there none the less.

1 Like

Hello Judith,

Happy New year! Hope your new year is more gentle than the last for all of us.

My mistakes, fewer than the past I hope but, often enough I fear. Some have taught me shame, though mildly I hope. Some I could do nothing about, flukes by any account. Yet, I am saddened they caused harm, fear, worry to others I care for and about.

Is that not shame in some form?

I understand the larger point others are making well, even so I comprehend, understand how others might find “small s” shame in different situations. Hope not, but could understand it…

1 Like

Back at you Stuart, my friend. Always delighted to encounter you…It looks to be a very challenging new year coming up for me—my beloved sister–my best friend–was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in October. First round of chemo ends in late Feb and then we will know more…Wishing you and yours lots of love and joy in 2016!..Blessings, as ever…

LOL. Absolutely. The question was, is it appropriate? Not, is it easy to resist? :wink:

1 Like

Sorry to hear your news, Judith. Sending good thoughts your way. :heart:

1 Like

David—When my young nephew’s alcoholic father died and his emotions were terribly conflicted, I told him that emotions are not bad or good—they just are. So it’s how you channel them that matters—what you do with them!..

1 Like

me. i never feel, ashamed why will, i found, a website, that i love, there more to, to much, to put down,.

I really enjoyed your article, and i totally agree with you. I have had T2 for 14 years and have been taking insulin for 2 years this month. I am really happy with myself and where i’m at now. Some people just don’t understand how this works. I still don’t discuss diabetes with my mom because she just don’t get it. once again thank you.