I feel like no one gets it

Community Share Your Stories
1

Ok, so I don’t mean to sound negative or anything because really I’m trying so hard to be positive through this whole thing…but I really needed to get this out.

I’ve been Type 1 for a month and a half now. I was diagnosed December 20th, right before Christmas (hell of a present, right?). I was pissed, but I dealt with it, because that’s all you can do. So, after spending 4 days in the hospital (3 of those in the ER) and my break home from college basically re-learning how to eat, and when, and “why me?” and insulin and all the things that come with the territory (in the midst of dealing with the death of my grandpa, mind you), it was time to go back up to school.

Lucky for me, I’m dealing with a full semester here. I’m just starting a very demanding program for my major (TV production), not to mention higher level classes and ice skating (it counts as a gym, so I thought why not?). Add on top of that all the carb-counting and other diabetes related things, and I feel like I’m about to lose it.

I hate having to inject before I eat. It’s usually not so bad because a lot of the time I just grab my food and go back to my room. My roommate, thankfully doesn’t have any issues with it. I explained everything to her and she understands, but it’s hard for me because we basically eat every meal together when our schedules allow and I don’t want to inconvenience her by asking her to take our food back to our room all the time. Now I have no problem injecting in public because I pretty much don’t give a crap what people think about me, but I still hate it. I guess really, this is why: I’m 4’11, 95 pounds soaking wet and basically I was the girl that could eat anything I wanted when I wanted. And believe me when I say I LOVE(d) food. I’m good at sticking to my new “diet” but I hate it because I have to have a routine. I can’t just go out and grab food with people whenever I want. And everyone seems to not get that. But I guess that’s whatever and there’s nothing I can do about that.

Then, there’s my mom. God love her, she’s been nothing but supportive throughout this entire process (or should I say nightmare), but support, no matter how nice it is, is not understanding. She’s always asking me if I feel “Ok” and if I zone out for more than 30 seconds she gets all panicky like I’m having a low. I feel like she thinks I’m this little fragile thing that’s gunna break, not to mention she’s a Nazi about food. “Should you be having that?” “Are you sure you can eat that now?” “Are you gunna count that as part of your snack?” Ugh! Just leave me alone!!! I’m almost 20 years old, if I can’t take care of myself by now, then I’m pretty much screwed for the real world.

Then there’s the whole tattoo debate. I have one on my wrist that I got before I was diagnosed. And now that I’m living with diabetes, I want to get a tattoo of the awareness ribbon on my back. Now, I’ve read that diabetics can get tattoos pretty much no problem, but she still doesn’t think it’s a good idea. I showed her the design I want and she was all “Well you really shouldn’t be thinking about this right now, and money and blah blah blah.” Ok I get the money issue. I know I’m broke and tattoos really aren’t in the budget right now. But I also wasn’t planning on running out and getting it tomorrow. And, what the hell else am I supposed to be thinking about?! I mean school, duh that’s a give in. But I also need a distraction from my life. I don’t want to feel like I’m dwelling on the fact that I have diabetes. I know she didn’t mean it that way, but I know she’ll never really truly understand.

I feel like no one I know does. They can “support me” til they’re blue in the face, but they STILL won’t know what I’m going through. They won’t know what it’s like to feel like your body basically betrayed you. I’m not saying that I need sympathy from everyone and I’m not about to throw myself a pity party, but just once I would like to talk to someone who just gets it. Empathy instead of sympathy.

Yeah, so. I just needed to get that out.

2

I’m 11 and was diagnosed when I was 6. I completely understand exactly what you are venting. You totally have my support and empathy.

Hang in there. I’m here if you need to chat.

3

All I can say is, its the PITS. NO one, much less a young 'un like you, wants to have a chronic disease. Plus you are still in the learning stages, and there’s SO much to learn!

It sounds like you’re angry, and you have every right to be angry – but you just have to slog through it, because it’s not going to go away (I wish it would!). Do your best, keep at it, and take it one day at a time, and time will work its magic – not that you’re ever not going to hate it, but you will learn to cope with it better.

Good luck!!

4

I do understand all your difficulties. I have been there, though I am not at UNI.

You need to understand that there is still a lot of ignorance about diabetes and the press have a lot to do with it.
Your Mother is concerned about you and in her ignorance is rather like the clucking hen. This will pass when she sees that you are responsible and that you get some control. I cannot speak about the tattoo. I know many people who are tattooed who are diabetic with no problems, though healing may take a bit longer, and I am sure you are not about to do that any time soon. You might try a medical wristband or a necklace. Paramedics, doctors and nurses are trained to check the pulse points for medical identification and if you get one that has a service where they can ring in to get your full details, such as illnesses, medications etc, that would be better. Get a few key rings too to put on your handbag, your rucksack too. I saw some when I was in San Francisco a few weeks ago in the pharmacies or you can order them online. If you were eventually to have a tattoo, put it on your wrist or ankle where the doctors will know to look.

I think after a while you will find that you can eat when and where you want to. Just make sure you check before and if you cannot work out what the carb content WILL be, inject straight after, when you know what you HAVE eaten. You may spike, but it WILL come back down. The spikes to be worried about are the ones that go on for some time are the ones to worry about and are usually down to infection or other medications such as antibiotics.

I was not diagnosed for 10 years after the symptoms first appeared. When I finally was diagnosed - by accident, but after some nurses had offered me some councelling for my “drink problem” during my six week stay in hospital, it was a huge relief!!! At least that would explain why I had felt so ill for so long! I was determined to stick with it and checked food packets for sugar content - ev

5

Having diabetes in college definitly sucks… I’m type 1 and in my second semester of college right now…I don’t have a roommate to worry about, but I do have friends who are very supportive and know what to do… all you have to do is explain to them “hey, I’ve got diabetes and we can still hang out, but you’ve gotta understand that I eat a little differently now and I can’t do everything we used to.” your friends will probably surprise you. One of my friends is even my diabetes buddy. she reminds me about testing and shooting and if I try to eat something bad she gives me the “oh hell no” look… friends make college with diabetes a lot easier :slight_smile:
And as for the tattoos… you can totally get them if you have diabetes!! I was diagnosed the day before my 14 birthday (hall of a present huh?) and I just turned 19 last saturday… I have 3 tattoos. just make sure that you inform the tattoo artist about your diabetes and you have to take super good care of them… lots of A&D ointment and follow all of the tatto artists instructions…
Hope this helps :slight_smile:

6

We do understand and empathize with you, but it has only been a very short time since your Dx. There are plenty of college students who are members of TuD, why don’t you join a group of them on this site. ( If you haven’t already joined ) You will probably have many of angry moments as a D in your future. Every D gets into a funk sometimes and just has to develop ways to cope with the situation , you will too.

7

Understanding does not seem to come from education or training. I hae run into MDs and nurses, who while educated and trained, do not understand even if they try. Having D is now a part of your life, so best to you to cope with that complication. My debate partner had a speech impediment and eventually became a speech therapist who achieved statewide recognition. Hang in there,m never give up. All the best!!

8

I’m just finishing up my last semester. I just want to tell you it does get easier.
I have been T1 longer (since I was 11) but it’s the same deal no matter the age. Purchase a Calorie King (and they have a website) to make carb counting easier, keep your supplies together and keep juice boxes in your room and 1 in your bag at all times. They are the perfect size for treating lows. Everything is going ot seem like a lot right now, but it just becomes part of your daily routine and you almost forget how much of a pain it is.
Most of my friends know I have D, we are almost all pre-med or bio, and my close friends went through EMT with me so they know what to do, but are very good about not trying to police my D. They freely ask questions and I have no problem answering honestly. It’s always good to have at least 1 person who at least has an idea of what’s going on with you and is not judgmental.

Because of my age when diagnosed I have received all of my piercings and tattoos after the fact. 9 holes and 2 tats. Nothing major or huge. Its just keep them clean and you’re fine. Being newly diagnosed your risk of complications is relatively low, just watch out for infection and treat it quickly if it happens.

You will run into ignorant people. That will never change no matter where you are. Try to educate, but if they don’t want to learn they won’t so just ignore it the best you can. It only adds stress to you which won’t help the D.

Try to stay positive, I know it gets overwhelming. Midterms and finals will be brutal, just keep snacks around like granola bars (Kudos or Chewy brands are good), but you can get through it. Just remember to breath :slight_smile:

9

I’ll give you empathy, I got this gift at 16, and I wanted to return it to someone mean, and I can send you Hugs, and I aslo have a ton of sympathy. This is just a PITB, no matter how you look at it. I don’t care if there is People who hate to hear us complain. It is a Pain, and it is ok to share that…

Now, we know your Mommy loves you, you are her Little girl and she will always think that along with knowing you are grown up. Moms do this, we want the utter best and its very hard when you have ended up with Diabetes and she can’t fix it for you. Mom’s Love is so much of a Bandaid when we get sick, or have life struggles. As much as you think she is caring to much, try to understand. Love is something we all should Love:)
I think if you want a Tatoo of something it will be fine with your Mom. She is scared I am sure of The Diabetes, and has her own fears. It will take time for her to see the beast is under control. And she will calm down.

You are so busy and have so much to do, but just take each day as it comes, and you can only do your best, and if you have a Ruff Diabetes day, come vent, I will send you Hugs:) ((((((Allicat))))))

10

I can SO relate to what you are feeling right now. I was literally diagnosed with type1 4 days before you!! No matter how supportive or interested my family and friends are, at the end of the day, I still feel alone. One thing that really has worked for me is being on this site. I am assuming since you were just diagnosed, you must be new to the site too. When I am feeling sad or angry or sorry for myself, I just come on here. I write a blog entry, because I know I can get anything off my chest and not be judged. Or, I read other peoples stories. When I do that, I realize that I am SO NOT ALONE! There are so many other great people out there that have and are dealing with the exact same emotions that you are. Also, I have spoken in person to a few people with type 1 diabetes. I love doing that too, it brings me relief.

Emotionally, I am going through a very difficult time right now, as a result of the diabetes. I feel like it swooped in unannounced and began to control my life, when I was just starting to figure out what my dreams and aspirations were. I decided to start seeing a therapist once a week. So far, it has really helped. Again, it gives me the option of just speaking to someone about all my feelings, without being judged. Maybe you could consider that. I know sometimes universities offer mental health services. Good luck!

11

You’ll get the hand of it sooner or later, it takes time but you will… There will come a time in which your mom herself will give you some special and tasty snacks…u’ll see :wink: