Hey All, I've forgotten to post my latest blog posts pertaining to diabetes here, so here is part 4 of working through the desire/understanding the want to live a normal life
I also suggest to read Self Awareness in Care for Diabetes
Thanks all, Paul
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within being diagnosed with diabetes I have an opportunity to what living a `normal` life consists of in regards to our consumption of food, and that I, within this, have an opportunity to see how this `normality` of what/how we live within the consumption of food and our starting point from consumption and manufacturing is abusive towards the body and how/what we put our body through within consuming the foods within the standard processed food diet
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/understand/realize the opportunity of responsibility that I have from being a diabetic into seeing how and what a `normal` diet is doing to the body in regards to processing and utilizing sugar and that this opportunity allows me to give myself a responsibility into showing what/how a standard diet can permanently harm the body
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate the responsibility within the opportunity of seeing what/how we are consuming foods and what is put into the foods is causing, sometimes irreversible, diseases by allowing myself to want to live a normal life, one without care and consideration of the body and it's processes and what I've done to the body through my accepted and allowed starting point in relationship to food, wherein consuming food has not been for the life of the body, for the quality of life/health of the body but only from desire and taste
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize/understand that within being a diabetic I have an opportunity to stand in for the body as the pancreas, and as I walk what is best for the body within standing In for the pancreas I am able to see what/how eating food affects the body and accordingly alter my diet and starting point to food to support what is best for life, for the entirety of the body - in this seeing what/how the standard accepted diet pushed through the media is affecting our bodies and how damaging it has become to the body, and accordingly give myself the responsibility to show how, through lived knowledge, to support what is best for the body within the consumption/processing of sugar within our diet
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that within giving myself awareness of the body and what factors play a part in glucose usage and processing I am able to share with others how the body will utilize sugar in specific states of emotions/activity and how to best give support for the body in/as consumption of food when in these states to not do more damage to the body than the emotional states themselves are creating, but to blind myself within the want/desire to live a normal life without consideration of the body from living this point of responsibility unto myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize/understand that through wanting a normal life I am not accepting and walking within the life that I `have` at the moment and thus not able to see what/how I am able to best support myself within this life and thus not any life, and that I am abdicating a responsibility towards myself to take care and support the body as life and do what is best for the body in/as diabetes
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that in order to give myself proper effective care, I must be aware of myself within what I accept and allow within myself in thoughts/emotions/feelings/stresses and how I am creating these things within myself and how to best give the body support within balancing the sugar levels when I am in those states and that within this, giving myself that awareness is not going to be within the definition of a `normal` life because the `normal` life that I seek/want is one of a care free nature and that if I am to care about myself within diabetes I am going to need to accept that I am a diabetic and I need to, in order to give myself proper care, do things that a `normal` person would not do and limit myself within what I eat when I eat it, such as high carbohydrate foods when being sedentary for a day, or move myself to support the body such as within exercise, giving myself support and care within accepting that I am living without a functional pancreas and thus I need to change to support the body by/as standing in for the pancreas
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing as a normal life, when each and every person on this earth will have different, yet equal, issues/problems/cares/worries as myself and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see/believe that other people are living a `normal` life and that diabetes `holds` me back from living a normal life, believing in an illusion of `normality` and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not drop the illusion of normality and simply do what is best for myself within care and management of diabetes
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the want for a normal life, blind myself from allowing myself to see me in this life, who I am in this life, how I am in relationship to life in this life, and blind myself from allowing myself to live what is best for all in this life through the want and desire to not be in this life that I `have`
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that within being a diabetic, it offers an opportunity to be responsible for giving self life, for giving self the best life possible in/as awareness of the body and the processes it goes through within digeting/metabolizing food and the relationship to sugar usage, and how the many factors within thoughts/emotions/feelings/hormones/stresses/activity will affect the sugar levels of the body and in this give self an awareness of/as how self creates the emotions/stresses/feelings and how through creating those factors hormones are produced to balance out the body, and thus one has the opportunity to give self the best life possible, not through monetary success by the standard definition of it but by actual life, actual quality of life within giving self the best life possible
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face myself in/as this life through allowing myself to want a life that I believe is normal within the definition accepted within the mind pertaining to normality, and in this not give myself the opportunity to walk this life within what is best for life by being here with myself in/as this life and working within what is here as me and giving myself the best life possible and accordingly support all life to give themselves the best life possible in/as the awareness of the body within consumption of food and how the body works/functions in the processing of sugar and usage of sugar and how through the normal North American Diet we are not supporting the body as life, but only supporting the mind within energy
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself that opportunity and walk within the opportunity to give myself quality of life within taking effective care of myself within diabetes through allowing the want to live a normal life, the want to not live the life that I am living at the moment, not accepting what/how/who I am in this life and working with myself here in/as who I am in this life to correct myself to support what is best for life, specifically in the case of diabetes, not allow myself to face who I am in realtionship to the body, relationship to the mind, and not give myself the opportunity to correct myself in/as who I am by allowing myself to become emotional when/as it becomes difficult to manage sugar levels and when/as these emotions come up go into the want/desire for a different life, not realizing that all life is walking within the same system and I would have to face myself, walk within myself in/as who I am no matter where or what I live within
I commit myself to when wanting a life of normality within not needing to be responsible for myself within diabetes and have a `care free` life to stand within the realization that no life is `normal` that all life is walking within the same world system/money system/mind system and that this is only a want to not have to face myself thus I accordingly commit myself to when/as wanting to have a `normal` life, stand here with myself in breath and be here with myself in breath stablizing myself here with myself and start to face the negativity within myself that I am attempting to avoid within the want/desire for a different life, and within stabilizing myself give myself the patience to start to understand that which I am finding difficulty within this life and in this correct my relationship to difficulty to facing the difficult points in my life, be it diabetes, emotions, stresses, schooling, money etc and work with myself to give myself the best life in this one life
I commit myself to walking the opportunity to give myself the best life possible within the mangement and understanding of the processes involved within sugar levels and diabetes, and the factors that affect sugar levels, and to in understanding the processes, correct myself in/as how I live this life, correct myself to live what is best for the body in within the factors that affect sugar levels, and accordingly do my best within the understanding of the processes to provide quality of life for the body, and to forever more continue with further understanding the processes and factors involved in managing diabetes to walk what is best for life in all dimensions within diabetes
I commit myself to stopping the want for a normal life, and walking this life within what I've been given in this life to give, support, become what is best for all life in/as the care and treatment of myself within diabetes, and in this correct that which is not best for the body - within this being patient as I work with myself in understanding myself in/as how I function within the mind and how I create the stresses and emotions that can be compromising to sugar levels and the health of the body and be patient with myself as I understand myself in/as the body and how the body functions to give quality of life to the body/physical and in this correct myself within what has been abusive in/as my starting point of consumption of food