I'm sure this food isn't suitable... but they're not listening!

My father and my mother-in-law both have Type II, as do my mother-in-law’s cousins. I am concerned as I have polycystic ovaries and am overweight (something I’m working to bring down!) so I pay a lot of attention to what they eat etc even if I’m rubbish at sticking to it myself!

My mother-in-law is Jewish and so they choose to have that lactose-free Swedish Glace stuff after meat meals. She told me it’s ‘sugar-free’ and also says that the desserts she makes have ‘her’ sugar in them. Now, ‘her’ sugar is fructose, and I can see sucrose and dextrose listed as ingredients three and four on the Swedish Glace packet.

I know Diabetes UK etc say that some sugar is okay and that fructose is higher GI than refined sugar, but surely having fructose-heavy desserts and a quite clearly sugary ice-cream every few days is not really the way to go? When she got the flu recently her sugar spiked to a scary 22.5 and it is always quite high even when it’s not that dangerously so. She’s terrified of needles so doesn’t want to go on insulin but has been warned she has to stabilise her sugar better or risk that.

I have mentioned to her before that there is sugar in the ice cream but she ignores me…

Do I:

a) Figure I’ve done my job and stop sticking my nose in (it would p*ss me off if someone nagged ME after all)?

b) Give it one more shot because I love her and want to see her well before reverting to plan A?

Ouch. That’s a difficult situation. You might see if you can engage other family members to step in and help educate her better, as she’s obviously not listening to you. My mother-in-law is much the same way. Or give her splenda or stevia and explain how they are different from what she uses. I gave my mother-in-law a great book on managing Type 2, but I’m guessing she tossed it.

Fructose and Sucrose are definite blood-sugar raisers, but I believe dextrose is mainly filler (from what I understand) as it’s one of the main ingredients in Nutrasweet products (Equal, for instance).

That’s a good idea… I suggested to my husband that he maybe prints out some information from this site and Diabetes UK and goes through it with her quietly together, no judgment or stress, just a concerned conversation between mother and son.

Good to know about the dextrose - perhaps that’s why she thinks it’s okay but hasn’t noticed the sucrose!

Thanks for your comment - much appreciated!

Sucrose is straight table sugar. You can tell her that, too.

Yeah, I thought as much! Thanks so much.

Alex-
I’m not going to talk about the different sugars. LOL Melissa explained it very well:)

I would say don’t give up on your mother in law. one day she will come around. My step father is a diabetic and I bug him everytime I get the chance. I know someone or something will get through to him. I just hope he doesn’t have to give up a leg or his eye sight to get the point.
Continue to take care of your health and good luck with your MNL.

Good idea for your husband to go over info from “authoritative” sources.

Hard not to say something when you see someone you love harming themselves, but talking with her hasn’t worked so far. I’m the kind who tunes out when I get nagged or lectured:)

Maybe you could find some substitute dessert to bring her, or make her something yourself.

Dextrose is essentailly glucose.

Fructose can end up as glucose after quite a bit of processing in the liver so it may not increase the BG immediately in that sense it is a low glycemic index food which would sound good. It is not since the liver will also transform some of it into triglycerides which we do not need more of. You can buy it at some health food stores but this doesnt make it health food.

Succrose i.e. normal table sugar is a combination of one molecule of glucose and one molecule of fructose and is split by the tummy acid immediately.

Starch is a polymer of glucose which the enzymes in the saliva will split into glucose only. This is why gram per gram for skyrocketing the BG bread is worst than succrose.

Look in wikipedia for glucose, dextrose, succrose and fructose very illuminating with models of the molecules and metabolic pathways.

That both gave me something to look up and confirmed what I thought about certain things, so that’s very helpful, thank you!

Yep, I tune out too, which is why I’m wondering if I should just butt out - after all, I’m not perfect either and I’d probably be the same way! But you know when you love someone you keep trying anyway… :slight_smile:

I’ve more or less given up on my Dad because everyone in the family has tried a different course with him and his blood sugar is quite under control - he just needs to lose weight. But because it’s MY dad, it’s different - I feel I can be blunt and almost rude and it’s okay!

But I still think it’s possible to talk the MIL round, like you say. Thank you for your comment - much appreciated!

Alex:

or:
c) perform an intervention with your mother-in-law and others that agree that she’s missing the point AND her doctor. ???

I’m so sorry to hear that someone can be so “confused” and not know that “ose” foods are SUGAR. But, besides the sugar, there are CARBS to concern themselves with.

You must measure BG (blood glucose) differently. What does 22.5 amount to in our “language?”

Lois La Rose, Milwaukee, WI

P.S. Oops, didn’t read other responses before I reacted. Glad to know that others think the way my twisted mine thinks! Don’t give up.

It’s very very high - normal is up to 6 in the UK, with 7 and 8 considered good management. My father keeps it to 8 max with oral drugs, and my mil takes the same ones but often goes into the teens.

Hit reply too quickly absent-mindedly, sorry!

Mean to also say, that c) is a fair idea. I did try to bring it up again at dinner the other day when she talked about how she doesn’t get it because she eats so much FRUIT and the husband and I were sitting there going “but… but… fruit sugar… too much… etc”.

Thanks! :slight_smile:

Just a quick thought, but, when those around me, family, friends, even co-workers, nag me and remind me of my choices, it may frustrate me at first, but I eventually stop and think, hey, these people really care about me and want me around for a long long time!!!

Well, let’s hope it works on her like it works on you! Thank you. :slight_smile:

So, an update for people who kindly helped me out here. M-i-l went for her big check up and got her blood analysed and was told that her management is not good enough. One pill has been changed and she is now on three diabetes-management medications (sorry, not sure which. My Dad just takes one, Novonorm, and I know it’s not that).

He also put the fear of God into her about her diet, so she made a concerted effort to be ‘good’. Of course, I don’t think she 100% understands as I noticed she avoided potatoes but still ate lots of bread, so we might still have to have that quiet chat about carbohydrate. Still, if she’s determined to address her diet at least there’s an excuse to talk about it. Plan B into action!

Just to let you know - dextrose is a filler for Splenda, and it’s another name for glucose. Dextrose is glucose, and yes it will cause a slight increase in your BG. The liquid version of Splenda has no dextrose and doesn’t increase BG levels.