Wow, you have an amazing family – here you are, the blessed fruit of their labor and LOVE.
Sorry your surgery was painful.
I had laser surgery but not for neuropathy and it wasn’t painful at all - just weird and scarey because well, it’s your eyes. I guess the procedure is different for neuropathy. Is your vision any better at least?
Am I scared? Sure. Not as much as I was one year ago (d-versiary is tomorrow) when it all happened. But hell was I scared than. Mostly it is due to not knowing what all this was about, how to deal with it and what to expect. I can honestly say I not afraid to die anymore. I am more afraid of driving in bad weather and plunging miles off a road into a ravine in my car. 
I am more scared about any possible complications down the road etc. I am sure I may not live as long as I previously thought I would. The only thing I can do is be grateful that I got to live 40 years of my life without having to deal with this on a daily basis.
And you are right - no it shouldn’t be this hard. Not at 26. I will say that 26 was a fun year as most of my late 20s were. (not that they couldn’t have been fun if I had D - just looking back). One thing to realize is that a lot of 26 year olds could never handle what you are going through. This makes you a stronger person than them and one day when you look back on all your hardships that have made you stronger for it (even if you don’t realize it) - the problems of non-diabetics your age will seem like a piece of cake. Believe me, people will admire you for the strength to face these things. You become a stronger person earlier in life than most and that will benefit you later.
Don’t feel guilty about feeling scared and spent sometimes - you have a perfect right too. Just realize that they are just feelings and they are never permanent and they will always change.
Let us know how your eyes are healing! I remember mine being really dry afterwards - you will probably have that too. They told me not to use the computer for a whole day and keep my eyes closed and not rub them - boy was that hard! They gave me a little mask to wear at night so I wouldn’t accidentally rub my eyes and had to wear sunglassses because anylight hurt my eyes.
Hey Sagwabetes, don’t think that way!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! (hey I’ve been a diabetic for 37 years just with glasses now and I’ve been through many lazer surgeries)
I haven’t had time to be too scared yet. I was dx’d in Sept and have been so busy figuring this out, working, and applying for grad school that thinking past next week, tops next year hasn’t been an option. When I do have a few mins to think about it, I hate that I don’t know how long I’ve actually been diabetic. I had zero symptoms and was dx’d from routine blood tests. But my HA1C was high so it prob was long enough to have some damage. Once I settle down and think about life after 23, then I will probably panic about long-term health issues and what this means for my career as a doc and my desire to have a family. So give me a few months and I will be scared.
Just know that you are not alone! I hope that you feel better soon!
I recall being so scared at diagnosis and then struggling through a period until I learned I had been misdiagnosed and then being scared at being a T1 and not trusting doctors because of the period of misdiagnosis. I still have my bad days with it all. I travel a lot on business and spend a lot of time alone in hotel rooms and have sleepless nights due to the anxiety that I won’t wake up. But over time, I think I realized I have some ability to control this disease. Sure I still worry but I try to make that worry inspire me toward healthy and preventive actions. I have also been empowered by some of the people on the site who have been living with diabetes for 30+, 40+,and 50+ years. I have befriended a number of these champions and the thing that has been affirming for me is that their journeys have not been without stumbles and bad choices now and then. Yet they have made it. It says to me that reasonable control means not having to be perfect but rather just owning it as your responsibility and doing the best you can for today and that best may be a different level of a control than tomorrow and that’s ok. It’s just important to own it and control as best you can and then chances are the future will be fine.
I think it’s normal for us to be scared. It can be a scary thing. And I think that fear will always be there, even if it’s just in the back of the mind sometimes.
I want to add that I’ve had dozens (yes, DOZENS) of laser treatments. And a vitrectomy.
And you know what? As scary as that was, it was worth it. My left eye is completely stable - no indication that I almost went blind in that eye 2 years ago. My right eye is slowly healing as well.
It’s scary, but doctors are learning more and more about retinopathy and how to treat it!
Thank you for posting back Sagwabetes. I’m sorry that you found the treatment painful. I found it uncomfortable for sure. Hopefully you will be doing Better soon.
Wow Kari. You’ve been through a lot of treatments for your eyes. I haven’t been through anythng close to that but for me it was Well worth it, what I did go through. You’re a Brave Lady. And yes, I am aware that you had no choice in the matter in order to save your eye sight. I hope that your eyes will be okay.
Jason — your words here changed my life and my thinking
God speaks through all of us, doesnt she??
Thank you. The vitrectomy was the hardest because I expected immediate results. I’d heard of others who had the procedures done and could see again right away. It took me 10 weeks to regain my sight after the surgery…I was convinced it hadn’t worked and I would be blind in that eye.
You’re right, I just did what I had to do - I didn’t have a choice; I wanted to save my sight!
I know the feeling. However, once you’re on the right meds and your A1c is below 7, you will be fine. I was uncontrolled for 9 years and just within the past 2 months I finally am. I talked my endo into letting me try Victoza, wow! it works so well. for the first time my sugars are in the 130’s and prior, always in high 200’s. It is an awful thing to have diabetes but it’s not a death sentence like it once was. Take care and good luck with your surgery.
I’m reading this a few days later…I must have been more UP mood wise…which goes to show ya that I do go through my ups and downs. I want to clarify that YES, I do get scared, it IS always in the back of my mind…and I often count how many good years I may have left (with my mother as a model; she is 85 and still alive after a lifetime of very high blood pressure and a mild stroke).
I also think that that no one knows about the future…treatment could get better, I could get hit by a car…anything could happen. I’m trying to learn to just place faith in whatever happens…not an easy thing to do.
I am scared too. I was just diagnosed with non-proliferative retinopathy. I am 33 and am now worried what else will happen if and when I get pregnant. I wish you luck tomorrow! I will be thinking of you!
she does Kat.
As someone with almost 35 years of largely complication-free type 1 diabetes under my belt, I can say that a little worry is constructive because it motivates us to keep managing this disease using an unreasonably-complicated treatment protocol … BUT … too much will drive you crazy. Realize that medicine has continually changed their collective minds on the actual cause of many so-called diabetes complications because they do not have definitive proof that any one element is the cause of any of these, and even the much-ballyhooed DCCT showed that complications were reduced, but not eliminated altogether with intensive management. For example, there is now a small but growing body of scientific evidence that some complications such as neuropathy and cardiovascular disease in people with type 1 may not be due exclusively to inadequate glycemic control, but may have an autoimmune basis as well. This means that some people may follow all the rules of management and still suffer diabetes complications, while others who do not manage it carefully may not suffer from either. I agree with Natalie that you can only do your best, and then nature has to take its course. This is not exclusive to diabetes, that’s true of life, too, so don’t distract yourself too much from the big picture of doing the best you can.
It must have been an anxiety-ridden 10 weeks! That’s a long time to wait for uncertain results. Congratulations for surviving it!!
It is not impossible to live even better than a healthy person… The thing is that it might take something we regard as uncomfortable or impossible to do … but it isnt … in fact, being healthy becomes something we all feel great with, there are some people who arent diabetic and they dont eat sugar… So start thinking that the changes you have to do arent either boring or unbearable … But anyway, Im not the best diabetic, haha my a1c has been going up til 7.4, but after joining this website I have reconsider my health again… Take care and I hope everything went great with your surgery 
Yes I’ve been scared - had laser surgery 20 years ago followed by vitroectemy (sp?) in both eyes,Was wondering what work I could do if if I was blind. But that was 20 years ago and I am still seeing!! I completed mt career without major disability and took an early retirement. We have an uphill fight but have some awesome toolsto help. Mostdevinitely invest in a CGM and get control ofthe disease and you will be OK!!
Hold on - is there anything you know of in any scientific literature to support your claim: “most people have lived for more than 40 years without complications with low carb”? Have you even seen a study that indicates that Bernstein’s low-carb diet is better at preventing complications than any other diet? It’s true that Bernstein himself has had T1 for more than 40 years - but one person is the very different than “most people”. Do you know of some study that has been done, because if not then you shouldn’t make that claim.