Well it’s more like I made it a part of my ordinary life, no questions asked, and now it’s hitting me that things will be different, FOREVER. I suddenly feel different, and that’s adding to feelings I’ve always had about being different from others. It feels… scary… like being in a dark tunnel and all you hear are the echoes of your own voice…
Thanks for the encouragement, I appreciate so much. Onward and onward, I suppose…
Danny, thanks – I’m glad to know that this is normal. Maybe we always have ups and downs, D or not, but having D makes one hyper aware of them, that’s for sure.
Thank God for this community.
I’m sorry you hit that point. How are things going now? Any better? I am currently going through what appears to be a second reaction to the whole disease state. I went through the stages of grief right after diagnosis and thought everything was going along fine. Just recently I can’t seem to do it…I’ve lost the motivation to do anything much more than my shots. Time to “buck up”.
Kelley, I’ve been cycling like that for 20 years! I think it’s partly grief, partly anger, and partly rebellion. I have a pump and a CGM, and the CGM really helps me because I don’t always have to get out the damn meter and poke my finger all the time. If the CGM is showing a reasonable BG, then I know I’m not too far off of that. If it shows high, I will meter. If I’m low, I will feel it, and don’t need to confirm with the CGM. And the pump makes it a lot easier, because I don’t have to fumble around with syringes or pens.
In Natalie’s utopia, we would all have whatever tools we need to make diabetes easier – not just because we’re dramatically ill, but just because diabetes is hard to live with! Of course, each person has different ideas about what would make their diabetes life easier, but we should have choices of what to do and when! (It’s hard to be a utopianist in the real world! LOL!)
All I can tell you is to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually the yucky mood will lift, and you will feel better about it. Hang in there, kiddo!
You described it to a T Dan! I can totally relate to every word you said.