Just need to vent a bit

The past few days haven’t been all that great. BG wise, they were good, sort of. BG rose yesterday after some bread at dinner. Not that much however, and I intercepted it in time. And today morning, I spent 2 units just to calm down my damn liver. I did not sleep well, which always worsens morning phenomena for me.

The thing is, as said, the BG was actually pretty good. No spikes over 140. My problems currently are psychological. A side effect of tight BG control can be that you become anxious and kinda obsessed with it, and worry even about tiny BG increases. It didn’t help that I was having confidence problems with the xDrip+ calibrations, mainly because I am not so familiar with them. Up until now, I was using xDrip+ together with libreOOPalgorithm to be able to use the Abbott algorithm for calculating BG and send it to xDrip+. But, once I noticed differences of over 30 mg/dL between the official Abbott algorithm and the BG meter, I decided to give calibrated xDrip+ (that is, without libreOOPalgorithm) a try.

My current problem is that it got stuck in my head to treat this as an exact science, when in reality, it just can’t be exact. There isn’t even a foundation for that - BG meters and CGMs are nowhere near accurate enough (yet?) for that. I measure 101 mg/dL now with the BG meter, and 114 mg/dL one hour later. Legitimate increase, or a measurement fluke? Both are possible, and yet I immediately think “OMG, need to calibrate with the 114 mg/dL”.

Add to that the effect christmas and new year’s have on someone who’s lonely, and how I got diagnosed with additional autoimmune diseases months ago, and you can see how I am currently not feeling so well.

What do you do to get your spirits up? I was thinking of doing some low carb days. That way, at least the BG would be calm and easy to manage, and most importantly, it would not be on my mind.

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Sorry to read about your low spirit. That happens. The holidays can be misleading to people feeling down. They look around and think they see that everyone else is happy and celebrating and conclude there must be something fundamentally wrong with them.

You can and will get through this. Here are a few things I do to cheer myself up. I always feel better when I walk. It doesn’t have to be walking hard or fast, just getting out and getting moving is what counts.

Drinking more water helps my mood, too. Not sure what’s going on there but it’s a simple tactic. Fasting is also a dependable mood stabilizer for me. Just missing a single meal is enough to make a difference.

But today is Christmas and fasting doesn’t seem right on a day like today. I’ve never been much of a cook but I’ve recently learned how to make some great chicken soup in my instant pot. The chopping and mixing are therapeutic. Smelling the earthy aroma of a good chicken soup can’t help but take the edge off of what’s bothering you.

Remember that we’re all affected by the darkness this time of year. It can definitely provoke or add to the blues. The lack of sunshine goes hand in hand with low vitamin D. Maybe you should consider vitamin D supplementation.

Be kind to yourself. A little personal pampering may be in order. Go for a pedicure, manicure, or a foot massage. Sometimes these small personal pleasures can make all the difference.

I wish you the best!


Contact friends or family and get some exercise. Go drive around town looking at the christmas lights. Merry Christmas!!

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It seems like you’re doing great with your control. Stress is bad for all creatures so there will always be a tradeoff between that and super-tight bg control. As others have said, do something good for yourself and spend that time less concerned about the cgm!

You’re right it’s not an exact science. Way, way too many degrees of freedom for that.

Ouch. Boy can I relate to what you are saying. The idea that controlling and even more NOT controlling diabetes generates anxiety. My Dad and I adored each other. I know he was not meaning to hurt my feelings when he would sometimes speculate that a
“diabetic personality” developed in me over the 50 years that I have had it. After my diagnosis at age 10, my dad said I became a worrier. That is pretty simple and well put. That’s how it feels, and also, that I never do good enough

Diabetes requires spiritual muscle - to be gentle and forgiving of myself, to give myself a lot of praise for doing what I do and to refrain from looking at the glass half full.

I have been meditating and listening to talks about “the quiet mind” over the past months. Exercise helps and most of all supportive friends, family and other T1ers.

Your writing made me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing your struggles.



When I am feeling anxious I go for a walk, watch a silly movie, or treat myself to something I like such as a pedicure. Diabetes isn’t an exact science, if it were it would be cured already. I have a CGM, I check it once an hour otherwise I will drive myself nuts.

The key here is balance.


Agree with you 100%! But beyond that I find my worry about bg, sometimes causes me to choose the less healthy of two snacks. For example - pear or french fries? The pear is more healthy for me but will cause a sharper bg rise than the french fries. Multiply this time 5 food choices 365 days a year for 40 years and my conclusion is that I’m messed up.

What you are pointing out, is how hard numerical differentiation of noisy data. Here’s a link you may find interesting but you can find many more too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIxf2OkI-cA

Oh, this gets back to the poor food choices I find myself making. Sometimes I think I would be eating healthier, if I made healthy food choices and gleefully chased the bg’s, rather than avoid carbs and find myself making a trend of increasingly unhealthy choices in a kind of dark spiral.

This is an example of how at least a semi-closed-loop system would help me eat more healthy because it would do at least some of the work of chasing any errant bg’s.


I can relate. I have been fighting my type 1 all month, as an example yesterday my range was 61-479, with fingerstick testing. Using 40 units trisba at night and humalog for correction and meals.
I have a lot of diabetic problems like a lot of nerothropy, also gastrointestinal issues, heart issues, dvt (in hospital 2 weeks almost lost right leg) and a cancer survivor and of course the ever present major depression disorter.
I gave up not long after I got out of hospital in July and decided to give it another try in November and struggling always, but hopefully will not give up this time.
Venting is good, build a good health team and support team wherever you can, this is a good start. Stay informed and active in you care. It is hard but we can do.

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