Just need to vent

OK, so here goes . . .

This summer was just about the crappiest summer imaginable. I was studying for the bar, my grandmother died, (with whom I had no real relationship - she’d had severe dementia for about 15-18 years, but I had to help with all the shiva stuff on top of studying), and all the meantime, I’m having all those classic diabetes symptoms.

So, the last night of shiva, my mom - an MD - smells ketones on my breath and says, “you need to get a blood test ASAP.”

I’ll never forget the first words my doctor said to me: “Your blood sugar was 539. You’re probably going to be on insulin the rest of your life.”

So, somehow, I muddled through the bar exam (hopefully I passed - I find out in November, but I probably had 3 or 4 mild hypos during the sucker), and then, shortly thereafter, the depression hit. Took a few weeks, but got to a psychiatrist, he put me on happy pills, etc.

Now, what everyone is telling me is great news is that, so far as I can tell, I’m having an incredible honeymoon - 3U Lantus once a day and that’s it. I’ve been off all other insulin for about 6 weeks, and have had to cut back the Lantus several times during that period. Fasting BG consistently below 126 - and have been mostly in the 80s-90s. 2 hr post prandials, same thing. But . . . .

What’s driving me up a wall are the unanswerable questions. How long will this last? What’s going on? And, of course, I have myself on a ridiculously low carb diet, because if I take even 1U of Humalog, I have to eat 50-60 grams of carbs extra to cover it. I am so sick and frigging tired of eating chicken cutlets . . . .

Oh, and let’s not even get started on the Macrogenics study from which I got rejected. Won’t repost the details - posted them previously.

I think the thing that’s really got me climbing a wall is that my endo made some comment, which I probably misheard, that perhaps my beta cells are healing. Heck, I know that T1 doesn’t reverse itself. Can’t find a single frigging case in the literature. I have anti islet antibodies. Has to be T1, or, at best, LADA. But some of the lab results from the abortive study attempt suggest a possibility of T2 - and my carb tolerance/BG has IMPROVED since those tests were run 3 weeks ago.

Well, I know that there’s not much anyone can do, but I feel like I’m wearing out everyone around me with this crap. So, figured this was as good a place as any to just let it all out.

So, everyone, have a great weekend, and for the Jews out there (and heck, for everyone else), shanah tovah u’metuka - a sweet, happy, healthy New Year in which all your wishes and dreams come true!


I’m also in diagnosis limbo, and I feel your pain. I almost want the “honeymoon” to end, just so I know what type I am officially.

Wow, Dov that was quite a summer.

I agree with you that the honeymoon period can be hard. On the one hand, it’s great that your blood sugar doesn’t go super high… BUT it’s just another variable that is unpredictable and out of your control. When my honeymoon was over (it was about 6 months in for me), I did have to fight to avoid higher blood sugars… but somehow it made things easier ( hard to explain).

Anyway, feel free to vent here anytime!!! We know how these things can be…

and happy new year!!

Good grief Dov. That is enough to put you in a mood and ahalf. But Judith is really right. When we vent it helps the rest of us learn. I don’t really recall any honeymoon for me. It was straight from DKA to a type 2 diagnosis, NOT. I don’t know whether to wish your honeymoon lasts a long time or is soon over. I do hope things start to work out for you better. Happy New Year to you too.

Happy new year to you too!

Venting is good, and I know what you mean about the chicken! It took me awhile to figure out what I could really eat, and actually I’m still not always sure … But one blessing that is coming with a longer perspective, at least for me, is that I’m learning to feel calmer about not always knowing exactly what’s going on or what to do. It’s a “life lesson” that’s come in handy for me in other areas as well – corny, but true.

I’m shocked your doctor would tell you your diagnosis like that! Insensitive, much? My experience was kind of similar … I’ve been anemic for years and had what I thought was some routine blood work done. When I went to the doctor for my results he asked me how I was feeling and I said, “Fine,” and he said, “Well, you’re not fine – you’re diabetic!” I’ll never forget those words, either. I guess they’re trained to just lay it on the line …

ANYway. Welcome to TuDiabetes. Vent away!

Well, in his defense, since he knows my parents are doctors, he probably figured they told me already. It was, however, one heck of a kick in the . . . ahem. :slight_smile:

Yeah, for me it wasn’t a total surprise either – the lab had called me earlier that week to come in for a second test, because the A1C was so high they thought there might’ve been a mistake. So I knew something was up. Still, it’s not what anyone really wants to hear.

Take care & let us know how you’re doing!

I know what you mean on the “could this be worse timing” issue. I more or less found out that I was diabetic when I went home for Thanksgiving my last semester in college - I had to wait three weeks to actually get to the doctor’s because I still had to go back and finish out the semester, and graduate. This was also the semester I took the GREs for graduate school and I had a couple of prediagnosis infections at the time that were pretty uncomfortable. There’s something about high-stress times that makes diagnosis all the more freak-out-inducing. So sorry about your grandmother, too.
One thing that might help… they do make syringes with half-units on them which would let you eat a bit less than the 50-60 grams at once that you’d like to avoid. You might ask your doctor for a script for them.

Your depression and stress are totally understandable. Keep in mind that stress makes BG go up and when you were diagnosed you were probably at about your max amount of stress. So your diabetes might not be as terrible as your doctor initially made it sound. But since you have the antibodies you know there is a problem. Use this honeymoon period to find out what to do when the honeymoon is over. And please come here to vent, this is a great place for finding support!

Right now, I’m quite enjoying not having to inject :slight_smile:

The suggestion was made of using a pediatric pen, but the consensus among the doctors was to just let things ride. I’m in no rush to have to start injections back up again - it’s just that the diet gets somewhat monotonous after a while, and, when you’ve got all kinds of other stuff going on in your life, every so often you just throw up your hands and want to scream . . . .

Thank you to everyone for your kind words of support!

You know, you almost have to laugh at how stupid and insensitive medical professionals can be - and the worst part is, a lot of the times, those are the good doctors! My dad especially loves to tell stories of all the docs he knew whose patients loved them because of their spectacular bedside manner, but who were flat out incompetent.

That being said, “you are now” I think really takes the (sugar free, low carb) cake . . . .