Let me introduce my depression

Today I got a visitor. Not one that I was expecting and not one that I like seeing. Today my depression has stopped by for a chat and will probably move in for a bit.

I am at my wits end. I cant stop crying and im angry and annoyed and sad and I dont know what to do. I can’t get back on anti-depressants until June 1st when my insurance kicks in again. Im just floating out here in space hoping the tears and pain stop. My kids are confused cuz their mom keeps crying and yelling. My husband doesnt get it. Im feeling trapped and Im feeling guilty since I feel I should be able to handle being a mom, a wife, a diabetic, have a clean house, keep up with laundry, handle online college. Along with this I have my damn shingles pain still. My left shoulder blade area kills and I can’t take any real pain killers until bed.

My depression sucks. When my depression is in full gear my diabetes sucks. I feel like such a failure at life sometimes.

I dont even want to check my sugar since I know it will be high. i HATE this. Im sorry to post such a pity party but I need to get it out, all of it.

I know how you feel. It’s tough when there is no answer and no immediate solution. I usually just have to try and go to sleep or get distracted. If you want to chat about diabetes and your problems or something you can message me or text or facebook or something. Sometimes I find that when I try to list my issues and talk about them I end up kind of out of words and distracted. Sometimes I just have bad days that go on and on. My thoughts are with you!!! Let me know if I can help in anyway!

?? There’s not a cheap clinic you can go to to get a script for some depression meds? It seems to me that your health ought to come before online college or whatever.

My depression moved in as a kid and has definately set up shop…It has mail coming and a car registered at this point…I do not know much about shingles pain but I do know a lot about pressure from family while attending college, working full time, having diabetes and full blown depressed…I have never taken any meds myself for my depression.

Here is what I suggest talk…You need to explain that Mommy/ Wife is not all together right now so she is going to need some extra support. Do not be afriad to say I am having a moment.You have to come to terms what you can do and forget the rest, trying to push yourself to be perfect is NOT helping…Stop complaining, life suck yes we know but the more you talk about how it sucks the deeper you go and or stay in your depression. Do not talk to anyone who is not uplifting…Try to do things that make you laugh, watch a comedy or a feel good movie. I do not know if you can take this with any other of your meds but St. Johns Wort is a herb that you can get from Walmart that helps with depression…Have some wine or drink some chamomile tea helps with relaxing from tension…

Hope you feel better soon!

I know how you feel. I think diabetes comes with a healthy dose of depression for many…between all the fluctuations our bodies go through, the fact that many of us go through the day without anyone to really understand all the crap we have to do, etc, it almost seems to me impossible that we’re not depressed!!

Have you contacted Pfeizer or another drug company to see if they can get you some “courtesy” antidepressants? Also, can your doc give you samples? I went through health insurance issues in my late teens/early 20s and found that I could get almost anything for free or reduced cost if I just asked.

My heart really does go out to you. I know EXACTLY how you feel and all I can say is hang in there and know that there are many, many of us out there who often feel EXACTLY like you do right now.

Oh, also consider checking in your area to see if there is a mental health clinic that can lend assistance. I had a friend who got antidepressents this way years ago.

One other suggestion as far as $ and meds. I know they are not the newest or probably the ones that work best but Wal-Mart does have anti-depressants on their $4/month med program. If none of those work I would suggest looking for Patient Assistance Programs for whatever med you do use. If it is a name brand drug it will have one of these programs. If you meet their income guidelines (usually 150-300% of fedral poverty level) they will send them for free.
I know figuring this out when also dealing with depression will be difficult and I really hope you can find some help/peace.

Depression SUCKS! And it seems to me that the first thing you need to do is establish priorities. Others have made good suggestions about meds and emotional support. My suggestion is to put your diabetes care as number one priority. I had a bad depression last year, and stopped taking care of my diabetes as well as I needed to, and ended up in a coma and nearly died. Definitely not worth it. High BGs just make the depression worse. So DO test when you know you are high – at least you can do something about it. When your BGs are in more normal range, you will have more energy to deal with the other stuff, even if you’re not feeling tip-top. And you, your husband, and your kids are worth it!