I’ve been a type 1 for about 8 years now but have been suffering from depression for about 19 years. Becoming a diabetic and other major setbacks in my life seemed to only elevate my symptoms and feelings of hopelessness, the only thing that kept me going was the thought of my loved ones and how they would feel if I committed suicide. Personally I have no desire for life, I’m not happy and have to “pretend” to be just so they wont worry and it has been this way since I was 10 years old. I know that this is not “normal” but I never have wanted to see a psychiatrist or even try meds, I just wake up every day wishing that hadn’t and continue my day.
Tattoodi, I am a diagnosed, chronically severely depressed patient. I have been this way for over 20 years of my life. I have been a diagnosed diabetic for 10 years. I DO understand how you feel, truly I do. I am not a therapist nor a psychologist. I am just someone who has lived with both diseases a long time. You don’t have to live feeling like today is crappy and I don’t want to be here. You don’t think your family knows, but they do…trust me they do know that you are depressed. They just arent’ saying anything to you about it, it is one of the biggest things kept in the closet by families. So what do I think you might want to try…no one “wants” to see a psychaitrist (they are MD’s who prescribe meds) but your regular doc can do that too. Med can help with depression, you take insulin or meds for your diabetes, and it helps you live, so would an antidepressant.
OR you could try “talk therapy” with a counselor, I do both, and am so thankful to have my life back. There must be things that you like to do, are passionate about…what are they? What makes you stay here? Your family, surely, you said that.
But seeing as though you have had this feeling so long, there must be something else…live for that for the moment. And please, please find a doc who will listen to you and help you see the light at the end of a very dark tunnel.
ONE MORE THING, I am going to ask you…you said you wanted to commit suicide, or it has run through your mind… Please when that thought comes up, please contact the nearest hospital or mental health center…you need to talk to someone so that we don’t read about you in the news. Suicide is NOT an answer it is another problem, not for you, but for those who care, and we care here. Dying won’t solve anything. You will just be dead. A bright light in the world will be out.
So if/when you feel suicidal, please, please call one of those places and ask for help, as you have done here.
Stick by us, please…
I found this, and hope it will help you.
Getting Help for Depression
If you experience the symptoms of depression, don’t isolate yourself — reach out and find the help you need.
By Chris Iliades, MD
Medically reviewed by Cynthia Haines, MD
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Major depression, also called clinical depression, goes way beyond being stuck in a “blue mood.” Getting help for depression is serious business because the disease can change you mentally and physically. People with major depression — about 8 percent of Americans — should know that it is an illness, not a weakness.
Despite the overwhelming effect that depression can have on your life, statistics show that about 80 percent of people with depression are not getting any treatment, a regrettable situation because help for depression is available and treatment works. In fact, the success rate is 80 to 90 percent.
Getting Help for Depression: How to Know if You Need Help
Depression is not a normal part of getting older or having a chronic illness. Anyone can get depression. One of the symptoms of depression is withdrawing from people and isolating yourself, which may make it even harder to ask for help for depression. Symptoms of depression to be aware of include:
- A depressed mood almost every day
- Loss of interest in normal activities
- Changes to appetite and sleep
- Change in ability to think clearly
- Loss of energy
- Feeling guilty or worthless
- Being anxious or angry
- Thinking about suicide
If you are experiencing these symptoms more often than not, you need to seek help. Also, if you are thinking about harming yourself, you need to tell someone right away.
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Getting Help for Depression: How to Find Help for Depression
Because depression can drain you of energy and hope, taking the first step can be hard. Start getting help for depression by telling someone how you feel. If you don’t have the will to call your doctor and make an appointment, a friend or loved one can do it for you. Your own doctor is usually the best place to start because many medical conditions can cause symptoms similar to depression. Your doctor can also decide if you have clinical depression or if your depression is due to another medical condition. Often your doctor will refer you to a mental health professional.
Getting Help for Depression: Therapists and Professional Support
There are many types of mental health professionals and facilities that can help you get through your depression. They include:
- Psychiatrists
- Psychologists
- Social workers
- Mental health counselors
- Community mental health centers
- Hospital outpatient clinics
- Family social service agencies
Getting Help for Depression: Support Groups
Many people get help for depression from support groups. A support group may meet in person or online. Although a support group is not a substitute for professional treatment, it is a way to share your experience of depression with others. The benefits of support groups that can help with depression include:
- Sharing information about treatment and resources
- Sharing coping strategies
- Meeting people and being less isolated
- Helping you to understand that it does get better
- Being part of a supportive community that cares and understands
Getting Help for Depression: Other Resources
The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance can help you find an in-person depression support group and also offers online support groups and discussion boards.
The federal government offers a service to help you locate mental health treatment and resources nationwide through the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).
If you ever think about harming yourself, immediately call 911 or the 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Finally, don’t forget that the most important support may come from your own friends and family members. If you are feeling the overwhelming symptoms of depression, the worst thing you can do is isolate yourself. Getting help for depression starts with reaching out.
Last Updated: 07/13/2009
This section created and produced exclusively by the editorial staff of EverydayHealth.com. © 2010 EverydayHealth.com; all rights reserved.
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I have been prescribed 5 different antidepressents and they all had seriously bad physical side affects. Made me so ill I could not sleep. I got talked into them by endos. Eventhough I have a lot of depression and always had, I do not think of it as a disease. It used to be people said this person is melancholy. Why is it wrong to be melancholy? Maybe we have real reasons to be depressed and should not try to wash our feelings away with a feel good tablet. I know I am experiencing a lot of frustration in my life and have had a major loss last summer. I feel like I take insulin because I see my bg reading is super high if I do not. No doctors measure our serotonin levels before prescribing serotonin reuptake inhibitore. Where’s the science if you cannot technically measure it. These pills are probably a load of psychosomatic cr*p (where people just believe they help) with side affects. It helps to remember that you are not the only one walking this path eventhough it feels that way. A lot of our great novels would not have been written if the author was medicated.
Hello Tattood1:
Many of us “pretend” a great many things! Pretend we ~love~ our job, pretend we ~love~ our girlfriend/boyfriend, ~love~ our parents, all kinds of different, crazy things… that are not entirely/exactly true, right?
Whether you are simply finding a voice, saying here what you do not/will not say aloud elsewhere does not truly matter. We as diabetics are your peers. Your words concern many of us… true though we are strangers we are also your diabetic brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. We all have trouble…
Lets make your load a little easier, get you some emotional relief. Won’t hurt in the least… you’ve fought for 19 years, and 8 of which as a diabetic you are NOT weak. Find the number of someone local to you that you can talk with in person. Give us some idea where in the universe you’re located, we’re pretty big group on Tudiabetes, between all of us we’ll know someone in your area thats good.
Stuart
Stuart
I agree with you Sarah. Yes, it may not be the popular thing to say esp. when someone says they want to commit suicide. Although I am not a Phd Psychologist, I do have a Bachelors in Psych (well, half human psych and half animal psych 
). And yes, some people are just meloncholy and there is really nothing wrong with it. If you were never sad, than you would never be happy. One thing that makes being depressed even worse is that you actually feel guiltyfor being depressed which make you feel bad about yourself which can make your problem even worse! Society wants to make us feel like we have to happy all the time. I quote the movie Heathers, although goofy I admit: " If you were happy everyday of your life, you wouldn’t be a human being, you would be a game show host." Point being, that the game show host isn’t really reflective of what is real. Humans are not perfect plastic dolls. And I hate to say but I don’t feel guilty about being depressed every once and a while (and a while is definately recently!). After all, it is my life and one thing that can be worse than being depressed is trying to hide all that sadnesses - you keep it inside and it just becomes a brewing ground for more problems (even diseases). It is very stressful to hide all that. People can still tell too even though you try to hide. So I go and cry my eyes out, I would rather have it out than held inside. And Why do people hide it inside? because society wants us to be happy all the time.
I just found out I had diabetes a week ago and can’t remember the last time I cried so hard. (well actually it was a week before that when I had a allergic reaction to a drug and than another week before that when I found out I had to have surgery on my cervix - so February has not been a good month for me!) And I will admit, I was so overwhelmed with finding this out - all the information, stuff I didn’t know, esp the risks, the meter crap (which I still don’t like the idea of) and the meds, even today, several times I would cry into my cat’s fur and say to her “It would be easier being dead”. And to be honest (and not trying to support anyone committing suicide here just my own thoughts) right now it really seems like that. And I know that will shocking to most people and many will beg me to call a psych clinic. I went to see a psych once a long time ago and honestly I felt weird telling my problems to a stranger. I would rather tell them to a friend (or my cat!). And in m opinion, death is bad or good depending on how you look at it. It depends on your views of the world, religon, etc. I for one I am not afraid of death anymore (Well, I am afraid of dying in pain maybe but not really the actually process) and this has been a recent revelation for me. I was afraid before. I think mostly because I don’t really have a clue of what will be happen to me afterwards if anything. My hope is that I will reincarnate or at least be with others I know are dead. I guess I am an agnositic - not sure if I believe in fluffy white clouds and gold gate. I think it might be different than lots will think. Or maybe nothing will happen and I will just be compost. Like I said, it is individual but I try not to look at death as the end. It can be difficult to be at peace with that and I am not always. But than I am not really your “average” thinker.
I like Jim Morrisons quotes on death: “People fear death even more than pain. It’s strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. When you die, the pain is over…”.
“We’re searching for death at the end of a candle, We’re trying for something that’s already found us.”
Meaning death is already there for us, we don’t have to search for it. It already knows we are here.
Thanks for posting. It is nice to someone agrees with me on this subject. You will get through this difficult time eventhough new diabetics feel like they are avalanched with information. Thanks for the post on the vegan diabetic group as well.
Thanks Sarah!
I certainly hope so. There are so many things that are hard right now. Mostly being - What do I eat? How much and when? There are so many vegan things that I could eat before that I can’t now. Apparently, beans are out?? ( I have about 10 cans of beans I bought before I just found out about this and now I can’t eat them!) And so is soy! Wah! I am flexible but I still want to stay vegan. Everyone is saying I will have tough time doing this vegan. I feel like I am starving to death right now! If you have any tips, like books with recipes etc I would be most grateful. If I could figure out a menu and schedule it would be easier.
Man, I feel you. I’m 28 and have had Type 2 since I was a teenager. I also have depression that was originally considered bipolar. I take 3 medicines right now: Lamichtal, Celexa, and Wellbutrin. But even then, I like you, I consider suicide and even cutting to relieve the pain everyday. Meds make it a little better but I still deal with it. I’ve become an expert on putting on a mask and pretending I’m happy, especially at home, grad school, and church. It’s definitely hard to get out of bed many days and definitely affects my diabetes control. Feel free to add me on Facebook and or here and keep in touch.
Life is an ADVENTURE, Dare it.
Life is a BEAUTY, Worship it.
Life is a CHALLENGE, Meet it.
Life is a DREAM, Realize it.
Life is ENDURANCE, Cope with it.
Life is FRAGRANCE, Smell it.
Life is a GAME, Play it.
Life is HEAVEN, Make it.
donot worry enjoy ur life with strong will
Hi Tattood1 not east to say I understand as we all deal with our problems in different ways, I have been moody sometimes aggresive for as long as I can remember during my life things have happened like major heart attack prostrate arthritis that have taken my mind off things 43 years of marrige 5 children and 4 grandchildren have also given me breaks sometimes in my depression 3 months ago the doctor prescibed an anti depression drug for me citaoram which has calmed me down a lot things do not rile me so much but is it a cure who knows what goes on in our heads I certainly do not all I am trying to say is that you are not alone no one is if they reach out for help as a man I found it almost impossible being a man it is not the sort of thing you do asking others for help, I have stood on a bridge with thoughts of jumping but that would be selfish and leave those who love us with more pain than I could ever feel, after 14 years of diabetes I am finally getting on top of it says he with fingers crossed I just hope in the next life I come back as a leaf on a oak tree one amongs millions,best regards raymond
I will tell you this. I have felt the same way you do. I have type 2 diabetes AND type 2 bipolar… the meds… are veryhelpful and I feel quite normal now…at least… what I think normal is! LOL I am on 300mg of wellbutrin.5mg of ritalin,and 100mg of lamactocil.
If you were to meet me on the street you would think that I am a confident, powerful, classy woman, with no health issues at all. why??? because I take my meds and they work.
I know how you feel. I too have the same feelings and I am on anti-depressants and in therapy. Even with that there are days where I feel so hopeless. Maybe you should just give some treatments a chance? It wouldn't hurt :] If you ever need to vent, I'm here.
kristen Marie