Apologies this is a bit long winded but I need to set the context. I’ve also just woke up from a hypo (I’m treated and on the rise) so my emotions are a bit all over the place, but this detail is relevant so please bear with me.
When I was first diagnosed, I was always worried what people would think of me if they knew I had diabetes - especially at work. So I didn’t tell anyone, only family closest to me knew and all these years I’ve only told two of my closest friends. I’ve had D for 20 years.
As I grew older, I’ve become more relaxed and less discrete about it but I still don’t openly offer to share this to anyone though I’m ready to if someone “caught” me using my pump. However no one has ever asked so I never had to.
I’ve been planning a trip for a while and have asked a friend to come with me. We are not close but we get along well. She doesn’t know I have diabetes yet, but I’ll be letting her know and educating her about diabetes if she decides to come. But I’ve been stressing about telling her for a while, not because I’m worried she will know about my condition but because all I can think about is the inconvenience or nuisance I’ll be to her in the middle of the night if my pump was alarming due to high or low sugars or even worst like tonight when I wake up in a hypo state and a bit disoriented - i can imagine it being quite distressing when you haven’t seen someone hypo before even if I educated her before hand.
During the hypo I had tonight, this was all I could think about - and while I was in my confused state, it made me more anxious to the point I convinced myself inviting her was a bad idea. Now that my sugars are back to normal, these thoughts have somewhat subsided but it just goes to show how I can be so “out of it” when my diabetes is on overdrive and you cant expect a non diabetic to understand.
Am I overthinking this? Do these inconveniences you can have on people ever cross your mind? I’ve only known to be discreet all my life so my perspective of things may be a bit different to many of you.
You may find out she is already familiar with diabetes via family members and others. So maybe start off by asking her if she knows anyone with diabetes, using insulin. Or she may freak out due to stories she has heard, but no personal relation with D. I would then ask if she still wants to join you and accepts to support you if/when you may need help.
Were it me, I would simply run my pump slightly higher for the duration of the trip and avoid having any lows. When on vacation I tended to walk more and be looser with my eating choices. They balanced out and my numbers tended to be much more normal anyway.
Thats what i’ve always done when travelling. I’m more active and also coupled by the fact i may be still a bit jet lagged and the change in diet. I don’t have any issues managing my diabetes travelling, just it may be a shock to others who doesn’t live and breath it so I see it as me being an inconvenience to them. But i guess ultimately its their choice.
Running it higher could also alarm at night. Again a bit of a pain, but i don’t really want to switch the alarm off in case i need to treat.
Oh for gosh sake, just tell her. Look if she don’t like diabetes she will not like you. Just say it, tell her and get it over. All this hiding and vibrating is just not a good idea.
If you cant do it, give me the number i will be happy to call and tell her. Just saying.
I think over time, you will not care as much what other people think. I’m getting back into dating and if someone can’t accept what is daily life for me, well then I don’t want them in my life. Also, I think honesty begets honesty. Maybe your friend will let you know something about themselves that they wouldn’t ordinarily disclose because you have been upfront. People are so afraid to talk about what they think are “vulnerabilities”, when they are just stuff that makes us human and ultimately, more likeable.
@tedos This may sound “judgy,” but if you may be reliant on your friend to help you at some point during your trip (a severe low treatment, altered plans, etc.), I think its unfair to your friend for you to withhold the info from her. I appreciate your desire for privacy and the rationale, but the potential impact to her enjoyment of the trip makes it incumbent on you to disclose. My recommendation in disclosing is to be honest as to what potential situations may arise, your expectations of her, her acceptance of your expectations and willingness to continue. You may find she’s already aware, may have a relative with T1 and familiar with “some” of the facts (in varies so by individual), or needs to be educated entirely. Either way, better for both of you to know the other’s perspectives and avoid making a potential foe due to hiding the information which could result in whole bunch of people knowing that you’d rather not.
I calmly tell, always, and often have my pump visible, for my convenience. I avoid situations where there might be hostility, such as religions groups who object to technical medical treatment, and I say why. I explain that my phone is part of my medical equipment, and no, I’m not going to turn it off. It’s just easier than not saying anything, and I’ve often had the opportunity to educate someone in a friendly way. People who don’t want to be around that, that’s their choice. At least twice I’ve gotten a client, over some competition, because I recognized a fellow sufferer and we could bond over insertion sets.
