Mommy, there’s a monster under my bed!

We do not have any history of diabetes in our family; however, my son was diagnosed with it (Type 1) just five years ago at the age of 16. Five years is a long time but, not near enough time to learn or completely understand the disease.

Every day for the rest of his life it will be a challenge for him to stay healthy. Diabetes will be with him forever unless a cure can be found. On top of his daily studies with college classes and the two jobs he has it is a full time job taking care of his health. I see how exhausting it is for him at times but, I am so proud of his courage and determination to live a healthy normal life.

When my son was a small child he sometimes worried that there might be a monster under his bed. I could easily chase those fears away for him back then… but now… the monster sleeps with him at night and there is nothing I can do because that monster is his Diabetes. As a parent it is very hard to face the guilt knowing there is nothing I can do to make that horrible monster go away!

Diabetes is the monster that follows him everywhere he goes,
no matter what he is doing or where he is going.

Diabetes is the monster that drives with him in his car and goes to work with him everyday. Diabetes is the monster that attends college classes with him during the week. Diabetes is the monster that celebrates birthdays with him every year. Diabetes is the monster that will attend his wedding one day and be with him on the day his first child is born. Diabetes is the monster he fears will make acquaintances with his children and grandchildren one day.

Without a cure, there is a possibility that one day his future wife will share his same fears. It would be a fear of a new monster invading their home, their family, and their own children. I don’t want my son to know what it is like to be a parent and not be able to chase the monsters away. This is my nightmare and I don’t want to share it.

I don’t think people truly understand how this monster controls the lives of people with Diabetes and their families unless they are affected by it in one way or another. (As in having it or knowing someone with it.) There will always be a worry about medical insurance and life long expenses that are very unreasonable and unfair. Life is not fair, we all know that but, living with Diabetes was not his choice and it surely wasn’t an offering he chose to take or a gift he wanted to receive.

I have had the monster with me for 30 years. July 1, 2008 my nightmare came true. My daughter was diagnosed with the monster also. Now I am experiencing all the feelings and fears in a different way. Talk about guilt–I have the guilt of knowing that I am the one that past the MONTER to her. She has excepted the monster and is doing a great job keeping it behind her instead of letting it take over. Now my fear for her is she will be leaving in the fall for college. It is going to be tough to let her go but especially now that she has the monster with her.
You did a good job of describing it — MONTSER. Loved reading your blog.

Thank you for your response to my writing. My son was having a few bad days recently (unrelated to diabetes) and you know what that does to a parent… we then also have bad days. I just felt so sad the evening that I wrote that I sat here at my desk and wrote what you read above. Writing is a way for me release tension. Usually what I write stays private in my computer for my eyes only but, after joining this site I thought why not share it. I knew others on here would be able to relate.
My son did not go away to college as your daughter will be doing. He stayed close to home and attends the community college just a few cities over.
I am sure your daughter will manage her diabetes better than some since she has been around it her whole life having a parent with the same. I understand your guilt because I also feel much guilt myself. We do not have any history of diabetes in our family and I sometimes wonder if how I raised my son (eating habits etc) is the reason for his diagnoses. The doctors claim he may have developed it from a bad viral infection he had months previous to his diagnoses but, it was never determined.
I wish you and your whole family healthy happy days ahead.
Thanks again for taking the time to post on my blog.

Hi Suzie!

Just read your “MONSTER” writing - WOW - never really thought of it like that - but it is so true! Thanks for sharing with us!

Also, thanks for your comments on my page - I truely love woodworking, actually spent about 20 hours this past weekend down there making Christmas gifts for everyone in the familhy. Made 7 of 13 wineracks (need to make 6 more - lol), 3 Coaster holders (like the one in my photos), and have a solid oak toy box for my grand-daughter I still need to make before Christmas.

I really dont make items to sell - usually for personal use or for gifts. I was commissioned to make the flag display case and the child table and chair that I have pictured, but basically only took payment for the materials - so to answer your question - no I dont have items on display to sell. Hmm Interesting thought though! HA HA

Yes - you are correct in assuming I taught at LCCC. About 5 - 6 years I taught the Intro to IBM AS/400 Beginning and Advanced class. I really enjoyed it. I was an adjunct professor (part-time) and taught in the evenings. It was enjoyable mainly because the majority of the students in the evening were adults (30+ in age) who were going back to school to further their education, and took it seriously. They wre always there and did the work. There were also several younger students there who followed the adults in their work ethics. Maybe someday I will return to LCCC to teach again - who knows what the future holds for us!

Take care!