Thanks for starting this discussion, Zoe. I have found it so helpful to read the variety of responses. I'm fairly new to this forum, but today I celebrated my 28th anniversary with T1. For most of that time, I waffled between mediocre and lousy control. But, I'm so happy to say, over the past six months, I have 'bought in'. I've brought my A1c down from the double digits to the 7's and I'm on my way to the 6's. It has been a tough and painfully slow process to get to this point, but what a relief it is to finally buy in.
Hi Natalie. It's good to hear from you, I have missed you. It's good to hear that you are getting help with you eating disorder. Society does place a guilt trip on people about body imagine. The pressure to look a certain way causes real damage to they way one thinks about themselves.
You are surely bought in 100% now because if you were not you would still be suffering without the help you are seeking for yourself now.
Gary S
I don't identify myself because of "D"; "D" equals resistance, and all resistance must be overcome in order for me to move along. I've learned, adapted, and moved on to the things I love. I am constantly surrounded by others that have challenges that make "D" look like a day at Disneyland, so for me; the "D" is just another ride.
Hi Natalie: Good to see a post from you! I think that part of the problem was you never got a correct diagnosis, so have been in limbo so long. No M.D. said to you, "you must inject insulin every day for the rest of your life, because you have Type 1 diabetes and unless there is a miracle cure, you must do this." But good for you for facing your demons and moving forward. It may be one step forward, two steps back at times, but you are doing it.
Was diagnosed in 1973 as a Juvinal Diabetic now it's Type 1 on August 10th 1973 15 years later I had my 1st child on that exact day. So I guess it came on fast. That daughter I had is now a Type 1 her self with 3 kids here and another due in November AND she's a CNA too!
Congratulations on making those changes, EdamameBean!
Natalie, it's so good to hear from you and in such an open honest, and yes, painful, post. I do like Gary's comment that "you are surely bought in 100% now because if you were not you would still be suffering without the help you are seeking for yourself now". He's right. And, really, the ultimate thing we can either buy into or drag through kicking and screaming, is life itself. I know because I had to consciously make that decision myself at one time. If I hadn't I wouldn't be here at this ridiculous age today.
I've said before how grateful I am that I had 13 years of ED recovery before I got diagnosed with D, because the diabetes brings up so many food and body image issues even for people with no history of it. And I can't tell you how much I admire you for dealing with it all at this point in life. We're the same age and I consider myself a very adaptable person (didn't always) but I don't know if I could deal with all that today. So keep up the good work; just because it feels hard and you're struggling, doesn't mean you aren't doing well. If anything, it means you are because you are working through some very deep-rooted things. You'll make it to the other side. If I did anyone can!
Mine is today. Dx'd on July 6 1958!!! Happy to be here but sad I still need to endure this challenge.
Wow, 54 years...a lifetime! Don't know whether to say congrats or I'm sorry. But judging by your pics you're having a wonderful full life despite Type 1, and isn't that what counts!
Zoe, I have done everything that I have ever wanted to do. It has never been in my way. I am an avid hunter and fisherman. Up at 3am and in the woods by 4:30am up the side of mountains. Still doing this today at 57yyoung.
Thanx for the congtrats!!!
Ray
My story of acceptance : I bought in .
Going back 29 plus years , realizing something was amiss , visiting GP on a Friday and suggesting to him that I may have diabetes ,Doc asked me to pee into a kidney basin , put a stick into urine and confirmed my suspicion .Following Saturday to the lab , which became a weekly mission .GP put me on medication .Working in a Hospital Food Service setting and being aware of the relationship between food, medication ,exercise and diabetes I decided to continue living with diabetes to the best of my know how .6 Weeks later with no hint of the BG's coming down ...kept on hovering around 250 I asked Doc to put me on insulin . I was hospitalized for 5 days (same hospital where I worked ) to include learning about the insulin process ; received privileges to leave the hospital to continue my daily walks , as long as I reported to the Lab by 4 pm . I attended a Canadian Diabetes Association event spring 1983 at Simon Fraser University, BC and sat in at several group discussions . A start to become involved , getting to know others with diabetes .In the mid eighties I was asked be involved with the planning of an Educational event , including being the Volunteer Chair , attended by well over 300 PWD and educators .A side note : Only today I learned on FB , that Dr. John Hunt , who started 50 years ago CDA's Children Camp Kakhamela in British Columbia , will be the Speaker at the Camp's Anniversary ,as he was at the event I chaired .( from the web : The camp is named after our first Medical Director, Dr. John Hunt Kakamela is a local First Nations word which means the hunt). How appropiate :)
At about the same time ,I was a member of the Nominating Committee for the AGM and lo and behold nominated hubby , who was voted in as Director with the BC CDA Provincial Executive , a job he did till his work commitments took up too much of his time .
My job in the Lower mainland ended, when we moved to the Shuswap in 1999 ; I did stay connected with CDA because I always felt they had something to share and I wanted to learn more ; diabetes was not going away .In my view, having taken the first initial steps at diagnosis , now almost 30 years later , participating with Team Diabetes across the globe and in my province I am looking forward to my next event in my home country , the Netherlands , October 2013 and will smile walking/running by the College I went to in Amsterdam, 1960 ....possibly a few tears as well .
I do get hooked by my BG results at times( hubby thinks too often )...and I get off it , after I do some serious self talk ... but here to say happily: No known complications.
Thanks so much, Nel, for sharing your story. You indeed were very much bought in from the start, during a time when that wasn't so easy to do!
Wow! You didn't just buy in, you paid in, donating yourself to organizations like that! Way to go Nel!
Prior to my diagnosis (3/12/12), I already had a lot of experience with D because my dad had T1. He had frequent episodes of hypoglycemia and had hypoglycemia unawareness. From a very young age, I had to pitch in and help save his life many times. There were also times when he put my life at risk by driving low.
When my symptoms began, I ignored them, telling myself that I was probably pre-diabetic and if I just stopped eating sugar, the symptoms would go away. I felt weak and tired, lost lots of weight, and was always thirsty and had to pee. I knew I was in bad health, but I didn’t want to deal with it. Finally I got a BG screening at a health fair, and the nurse told me my sugar was 410 and I should see a doctor ASAP.
My diagnosis was devastating, in part because I had to deal with all the emotions it brought up for my family. It was also a turning point in how I take care of myself, as I’m determined to prevent any more d-related trauma for myself and my loved ones. However, I know that complete control is unrealistic and at some point I will need help from people in my life. My dx has helped me to realize that my physical and emotional health matter every day. D motivates me to focus on my long-term health and to try to enjoy my life every day. I have totally bought into my D identity, and am even thinking about becoming a CDE someday.
You would probably make a great CDE, Rennie, and also a good counselor for family members because you understand what things feel like from both ends!
Thanks for your support, Zoe! I am finding it really meaningful to read about the range of experiences on this forum, and the different ways D does and doesn't have an impact on each of our identities.
Zoe , thank you :)...there is diabetes in the family gene pool ; from Dad's side his Mother( my Grandma ), his Sister( my Aunt ) her Daughter( my cousin ),all passed on , my Brother , who was diagnosed after I was . Our Mom ,living in the Netherlands who passed away in 1972( cancer ) received from her Medical Team a message late 1970 ( ??) ,that she had diabetes which was recinded shortly after...could have been due to other meds she was taken at the time ? ...I never found out the reason ...
It's been interesting to read everybody's stories. I think my acceptance came in a few shifts: After getting over the original shock of diagnosis (LADA/T1), I quickly started to embrace it because I could see how the meds, diet, and exercise made me feel so much better. Yet I was leery of the insulin. Asking for insulin when it was finally needed was definitely the next big shift. But the thing that makes me think I've fully bought in at this point is that I just had my first diabetes dream the other night. OK, nightmare, but still.... (Dreamt that I was at a huge banquet and the only thing I could carb-count for was mini-bagels which was bad enough but then the only fat or protein the waitstaff could find was moldy cream cheese. Dreams - go figure) I think once you're having diabetic dreams, you may be all in :)
AC , my friend ...and all the fantastic folks I have met!! I must thank my Parents for showing me to get involved , even at a young age , after the war ...did "door knocking" as a kid mainly for the Red Cross .When we moved to the Shuswap and did not know anyone here ( 1999) it was a given to show up at the local Animal Shelter as well ..scooping poop is really not all that bad...ask me :)