My Seventh Month D'Anniversary

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Today is the seventh month anniversary of my Diabetes diagnosis. Not a big deal, really, considering how many years so many of you have lived with and thrived, in spite of and with, Diabetes. So, if it hasn’t been so long… why do I feel so exhausted? Why do I feel like I’ve been running a non-stop marathon for the last seven months, without a moment’s rest? The constant meal planning, carb counting, exercising, and waking up early to have breakfast, and take my thyroid meds in time enough to not interfere with food… Making sure I never miss a meal, and always have food with me. Fighting with the husband over food because all he wants to eat is junk, and we can’t afford it – financially, and physically, fighting with friends over food… Coming up with money to even buy the food I need… food stamps and food banks. Spending countless hours and hours waiting to see doctors at the Free Clinic (6 hours once, was my record), because I have no insurance… educating the actual doctors who are supposed to be there, treating me… digging and finding all the possible ways to get glucose strips… Learning, reading, learning more… and trying to educate friends about Diabetes, and meals… Always meals, and food. Everyone always wants to eat a crapload of carbs, and call it healthy… Sad, really. How little many of us know about balanced meals, until we get sick.


All this, and the continuous stress of trying to find a job (and fighting with family, over their helping me while I struggle finding a job), and getting constantly rejected as if I were bad, or unworthy, and it's no wonder I've struggled this week with overeating, and binging. It's a big exercise in love, and kindness, when you can allow yourself to eat with awareness, even if it's too much... To give yourself what you want/crave/need for just one day or night, so that you can learn from yourself, reach peace, and move on. Diabetes is such an exercise in personal growth, and personal awareness; we grow from our mistakes, learn to listen to our bodies, focus on our needs... more than anyone else may do... And yet, how often do we forgive ourselves, and treat ourselves with kindness? For overeating, for being spent, for being tired, for thinking we're failures, defective, or lousy... For allowing stress to get the better of us... For not bolusing right... Who knows. Diabetes is an exercise in self exploration. While I'm tired, and just frustrated to no end, and I need support from others to have or keep my motivations... I strive to commit to my commitment. In this, my seventh month anniversary, will you join me in my commitment?

  • I will always treat myself with respect, and kindness. As much as I give onto others, I will give to myself;
  • I will always listen to myself, and what I need. As much as I listen to others, whatever I need to give myself, I will find a road of compromise to achieve it;
  • I will always forgive myself, for I am only human. I will learn from my mistakes, as I learn from all those around me... and as much as I forgive others, I will forgive myself;
  • When I am tired, I will find ways to find respite and seek the help of others. As much as I help others, and give them respite, I will help myself;
  • I will commit to my commitment, for as much as others are worth committing to, I am also worth the commitment.


Here's to many more months, years, and decades... of healthy life. Thanks to all of you for your support.


Liz



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I am with YOU Lizmari !!!, celebrating almost 30 years …bottom line ( as English is second language here , I always mispel bottom and misspel ) I wish I could spell …forgive my little spelling joke …I am on your and all PWD ’ s side , believe me !

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I’m hitting three year mark soon, good luck!

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Why are we so exhausted? (me too btw) Because it IS exhausting accepting and adjusting to this disease and you, like me, have so many other things to worry about not related to the D (unemployment, no insurance, money) - I swear if I have any more new big problems in my life I don’t know if I could handle it. Enough is wrong already, you know, I don’t need anymore.

Hang in there Liz! I know exactly how you feel. I swear if only I could at least find a job my life would not be as stressful. At least than I would have money and maybe insurance. I wouldn’t have to worry about at least two things, you know. ugh, it is very hard. I get exhausted just thinking about it all.

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You go girl! It’s been nine months of exhaustion and anger for me. I am lucky not to have to deal with your survival issues on top of you. You are very strong.

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Wonderful & inspiring list of commitments!

I recently hit two years & it feels like forever. I try to remember what I did with the free time before that’s now devoted to diabetes.

Exhausted & exhausting–yep!

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I think we all understand and can relate. I’m only at three months and my biggest fear is falling back. questioning will i be able to do this FOREVER!. its daunting really. for us, it not like there is a specific goal and when we ht we are done. maintenance for us is a lifelong task that i’m sure will have its ups and downs.

Its ok to hit a wall every now and then AND to be ok with it. just keep the habits healthy ones and the then give yourself a little slack for the exceptions. Keep up the great work and congrats!!

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Bubbaluv, I am at a little over 3 months too. I know I am doing but yeah, the forever thing - I am not quite sure if it has completley sunk in yet. Can I do this forever? well, I all I can think is that I have no choice in the matter. I am sure I will slip up and have my non-good days - forget to test(I already do that!)

I remember seeing a flyer at the hosptial for a D support group that said “Have you been diagnosed with this life-changing disease?” Life-changing is right! But it made me think that for some to deal with a life-changing disease - well, they must be pretty strong. I think about people who have incurable cancer and AIDS - I can only partially imagine how they are feeling. My life has changed because of this - but at least I can control it to the point where I can hopefully avoid complications.

In way the life-changing part is good, it really makes me look at the world differerently you know. I know how those in pain struggle - I guess maybe I had it pretty easy before now that I look back. But I swear, many things look different now - both good and bad different. I think I don’t sweat the small stuff as much as I used too.

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I just want to say to all of you, how thankful I am that you are a part of this community, and that I can share with you every day. You’re encouragement is so valuable to me, and so priceless. I just don’t think I could have ever found this kind of encouragement anywhere else, even in my day to day life in some kind of support group. I’ve tried, believe me. lol I was feeling pretty low on myself late last night, and this morning… and just reading your comments, and words of encouragement… the reminders of positive energy, and that you guys believe in me, and I am already renewed with attitude to start the day. :slight_smile:

Thank you, and have a blessed day.

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Liz, 7months is no laughing matter - you are awesome! I know that you have improved your health tremendously since your diagnosis! I hope you have many more healthy, happy months. We need to meet up sometime when I am in Iowa. It won’t be long til I’ll be going to school in Ames! You ROCK, never forget it!

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Liz, congrats on your first half year plus a month! It has been seventeen years since I was dx’ed, and that first 6-7 months still feels like some of the toughest time for me. There’s such a steep learning curve with diabetes and it has to be mastered so quickly that, IMO, it’s amazing when people do it!