My Support Group Experience -- One Terrible Disappointment

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So I finally made it to the Type 2 Diabetes – Medicap Pharmacy – Diabetes Support Group, after many months of really trying to school myself into remembering, and various other obstacles such as visitors dropping by unannounced, and the session getting moved on me without notice. I had been trying to go since all the way back in November, if you can believe that! But time flies by, in a snap, when a group only meets once a month.


When I was finally there, I was kind of thinking there would be more variety in the group's demographics, considering T2D affects a myriad of people these days, of all walks of life... but I was wrong: Everyone in the group was elderly, and extremely overweight. The only two people in their 30s were myself, and an extremely obese chef which was leading the group. If there are any young people in town, with T2D, they must've given up on this group. (Now, I am an overweight person... I do not use this 'extremely overweight' term lightly, but I did find myself longing for people that I could truly relate to.)

The chef was all in gear, and had dinner already made for the support group. I had not anticipated there would be any food, so I had dinner at home. It was a good choice on my part, anyway... because at worst, there would be no food, and at best...? wait, now, which one would be worse? At worst, there would be food with an unknown amount of calories, and an unknown amount of carbohydrates, by a man claiming to have Diabetes himself, but really not telling anyone how many carbohydrates were in anything. I am pretty sure the whole meal was around 60-65 grams grams of carbohydrates, when you consider the salad had beans and julienned, colored, tortilla chips, as well as a sweet dressing.... and the dessert had yogurt, with candied fruit in Splenda (I certainly underestimated the carbs on THAT, as I am now topping 140 mg/dL). I know... I know. Some of you are fine with eating that many carbs; that doesn't bother me as much as a chef, claiming to have Diabetes, NOT knowing how many calories are in his meal, how many grams of fat, nor how many grams of carbohydrate, and who is instructing people. When you have Diabetes, carb counting matters, and we all can agree on that! His excuse was: "I am not a dietitian, and I do not purport to know what's in food, or what's good for you, or what better percentages of anything you should eat. I just make it taste good." To hear that being said by someone making 'my meals' was quite scary, honestly. He told me he gets approval from a nutritionist as to whether to serve a meal or not; god, you don't have to come up with the numbers, but at least give us numbers. Tell the nutritionist to give them to you! *roll my eyes here*

So, if we are there to eat meals from a man who doesn't know much about Diabetes, who doesn't know much about daily carbohydrate intake, or other nutritional factors, who doesn't know the calorie counts or fat counts in his meals... and who doesn't really specify to people how healthy of an alternative something is... then what are we left with? An overweight man, feeding a roomful of other overweight people, who will remain uneducated on how to manage their diabetes, and lose weight. In the hour of time we spent there, all that was discussed was how to make the salad -- really simple things that any idiot could do (bowl, pre-made Dole lettuce mix, put stuff on it... lol), and the intricate details of food service politics at hospitals in the metro. Really? And how does food service politics at hospitals in the metro pertain to my Diabetes? If you didn't get the right cargo of gravy, or lettuce, in your order... how the hell does that relate to how I make my meals at home?

He said his dad was a Type 1, and his wife was Type 2... and that he understood people not getting the right food in hospitals, however he had nothing to instruct, or give to people, as far as those carb counts went, and why a meal was appropriate to eat, or not... and why it needed to be put together a certain way. He also confessed he has been pretty much on a roller coaster for 3 years, of bad control, 'destined for insulin', he said with a sad face -- as if insulin was the doomsday of possibilities... And it kind of makes me wonder, hmmm... Is it because he doesn't give carbs the importance they deserve? I'm not sure... It's food for thought, anyway. He admitted to really not being good on dieting, to keep overfeeding himself, etc... and that's all fine, but... should someone like this be leading an educational Diabetes group for newbies, instead of sitting among it's members? Really? I, basically, knew more of the answers to things about the meal we had, than he did... I can pretty much guesstimate it all, these days... But these folks don't know... it was so sad, for me... to see. In essence, a real big disappointment... And what's worse, the group won't meet at all during the entire Summer! So, many of these people are going to be without a lot of needed motivation, or 'help' from now... until next October! Insanity, really...

It would be nice for me to start my own group... I just, wouldn't even know where to begin... and I have no money, no resources right now of any kind. *sigh* I don't think I could compete with people who have all those facilities, and resources... and the semblance of expertise. We didn't even introduce ourselves, or talk to each other, or about our stories, or anything... It was all... "sit there, and listen to all this stuff that really has nothing to do with your Diabetes..." :( Sad, sad... I really don't want to go again, but something in me wants me to keep going and tell those people how they need to improve things. After the meeting, I did confront the chef about no carb counts on anything... and even though he initially gave me the 'I'm not a dietitian" line, when I said "yes, but as Diabetics we NEED to know these things, and learn these things, because we're the ones who live with this... not the dietitians, and carb counting is how you control Diabetes," he finally folded and said he'd put carb counts on the recipes he was handing out to people.

I feel so sad, and somewhat angry at the same time... at how we play with other people's wellbeing, without much care to how they learn to manage a chronic illness. "Well, that's not me, so I don't have to put effort into it." Well, I'm gonna be a hemorrhoid on those people's behind for a long time... Believe me. They had better get used to me.


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You should start a group! It doesn’t take resources. Libraries, community centers, rec depts & churches have meeting rooms available at no charge. Newspapers list meetings free. Most towns have an electronic community bulletin board & local access cable TV channel where they post meetings & events. All free. You could also let the health dept & medical offices know about meetings & put up some flyers at the health dept, library, etc.

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That must have been so awkward. I think it’s amazing that many Diabetics are not interested in reading about their disease or taking control of it. I bet you could start a small group and meet at Starbucks or something.

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Hey Liz,

A lot of big hosptials have a support groups - it is usually on their websites. There are a few near me - one really close but I haven’t gone to the meetings yet but I did meet the women who organizes it - she is a CDE and nurse and she did my free diabetes class. I did go to the free diabetes expo with the support group (free bus ride!) with my cousin - and you know what, only a few people were significantly overweight. Some were older yes - I think my cousin and I might have been the some the youngest and we are both 40 (or at least we looked the youngest!)

Even at my class, only one person was significantly overweight and everyone else honeslty were rather trim looking - we all admitted to having the little “spare tire” but other than that one person no one really needed to lose weight. I was surprised. I think most of us were in our 40 or 30s. One Type 1 person was older. Since it was close to my neighborhood, it was funny how we all had similar stories of childhood ethnic diets full of high carb foods and no veggies. One guy said the first time he saw a salad was in a restaurant!

Several of the people said it was probably genetic for them. Several Mexican-Americans said it ran in their families big time. And the CDE nurse was a Type 1 and she was in relatively good shape not perfect but she understood the carb thing. We also had a nutritionist who did a whole presentation and slide show on carbs, sugars etc. Now she was a toothpick! She was skinnier than me. She looked like she might have been anoxeric at one time. But I don’t think she was diabetic.

I don’t know if there are any big hospitals by you but that would be the place to look. And if you are going to set up your own group - I would put signs up in the clincs and hosptials. Another idea is to post it on Craigslist!

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Well, I can sympathize with you. My own support group was led by a kindly gentleman who basically kissed the feet of the ADA. Unfortunately, he was not a model diabetic and ultimately his health has failed. I have now taken over the support group and I lead it very differently. While we also have potluck’s, the theme is clearly low carb and if you can’t actually tell people the portion size and carb count your dish will be “shunned.” And it is ok to skip dishes that are too high in carbs.

I like to start off the meeting by telling people “my story.” And I tell them what I do to control my diabetes. And then we discuss how the group is “closed and private.” We don’t discuss this stuff outside the group. I ask people to introduce themselves. If they choose to tell “their story,” that is fine, but it is also fine to say “I am Jim and I am just here to listen.”

I found some good materials on running a diabetes support group (http://www.diabetesinmichigan.org/PDF/General/SGBooklet.pdf), and leading a support group (http://www.diabetesinmichigan.org/PDF/General/SGLeader.pdf). We will usually have a guest speaker.

You can come to the group and have terrible control and be depressed. But the group is by no means a place one should expect to affirm poor choices.

But one must also have reasonable expectations of these groups. Attendees are often dominated by the recently diagnosed, often by type 2s and often by type 2s that are struggling. If you are healthy, happy and well controlled diabetic, what do you need a support group for?

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Kimberly, the support group I went to WAS the big hospital’s support group, and there are no other Type 2 Diabetics’ support groups here… The other support group is the hospitals Type 1 Diabetics’ support group, and I’d hate to see what they say to people there!

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Well, bsc, I did ask a few months ago… if it was of any use for me to go to a support group, and most everyoen said it was an awesome experience, you can talk about daily stuff you can’t talk about with other people in your life… you get support… yadda yadda… No one said “if you’re controlled, why do you need a support group?” I know a lot of the people who said it was an awesome thing, to me, are not out of control… And well, I was also wanting to have some local camaraderie.

Anyway… thanks for the materials, and I will see what I can do. I realize that there will be a certain type of people in a group, but I think they’ve made it all for the elderly, and excluded any young people who might’ve been diagnosed… I had to call and ask about the group, because I was actually not told anything about it when diagnosed… that should’ve said something to me.

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That’s funny, Tom… lol I just wanted to know people in my area, with D, that maybe I could relate to, or even do things with… but I failed. It’s okay… :slight_smile: Eventually I’ll meet someone, I’m sure. There’s too many of us D’s, not to.