Hi. So, i’ve only been diabetic (type 1) for a short time, but… it’s been a rough one.
An awful lot of stuff has gone wrong for me - and i am beginning to feel like i can’t get a break- I try to stay positive, but when all life does is smack you in the face, it gets harder and harder to stay smling…
So - how do you guys fix this? I even went to a psychologist, but all she could tell me was that i was depressed and i had to accept that i would just feel bad, and cry when i wanted to. I don’t really go in for the crying thing - i do cry, but how does that help really in the long term? I know my situation is hard - i’m living it - what i want are coping strategies not sympathy.
I have lived the last couple of years waiting for depression to lift - and it won’t, so i have to do something… TIps, tricks and ideas??
Depression is one of the most common ailments in the world. It can be serious, but it’s often easily treated. I’d recommend discussing it with your doctor…
Hii, sometimes it takes more than one try to get the right fit for a counselor . Try seeing someone else. Take careNancy
i can truly empathize w/ your situation. depression is something not to be taken lightly. if one psychologist isn’t helping you, i recommend finding one that will. don’t give up. living w/ D can often be depressing on its own. this is just my opinion, as i am not a professional MD, but if someone told me that i would “just have to live with it,” i would not be one to take that kind of advice. i would continue looking for someone who offered hope and help.
you are not alone. TuD is an excellent source of helpful information and support. best wishes.
If I could, I would +100 @twinchick 's sentiment.
It can be difficult to keep trying to find a counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist that is a good match. Especially if depression is leaving you feeling drained. But, don’t give up!
The other thing you might want to consider is taking medication for depression. I can’t say that I have taken depression meds myself, but those people who have shared their experiences with me said it did help. It might take trying a few things before finding the right match for you. And I’ve been told that contrary to popular belief, depression meds don’t make you “happy” but they do relieve the anxious feeling.
I’m not sure there is a DIY approach to depression that’s effective.
As @Corinna noted, medication can help relieve many symptoms of depression that make it more difficult to benefit from counseling. One highly regarded counseling technique is cognitive-behavioral therapy in which a person learns to recognize unhelpful/harmful patterns of thinking and formulate more positive thoughts. Diabetes and Wellness by Jen Nash provides a good introduction to this approach. Hope you find a counselor soon who will support and guide you.
Speaking for myself, I find it very hard to make suggestions without knowing a bit more about what a person and their life is like and what they have already tried. I’m not asking for explicit personal details, but if you provide a bit more information painted in broad strokes it might help us to better understand you and what you are dealing with.
What part of the world do you live in? What’s your approximate age? How long have you been T1? How were you diagnosed? What type of treatment plan are you on? How’s that working for you? How long have you been seeing the shrink? Is the current shrink the only one you’ve seen?
I’ve seen several over the years in varying contexts. Some I liked more than others. I’ve also been taking Bupropion (marketed as Wellbutrin and with other trade names) for so long now I can’t really remember when I started. My view of it is that it doesn’t “fix” things for me, so much as help “take the edge off” some. That is, I still have periods of depression, but I think the Bupropion helps keep me sinking as low as I have at times in the past. No, it’s not a panacea. But better is, well … better.
The one thing which I think helps me the most is getting out and doing something. But I find it very hard to do that when left to myself. Volunteering to walk dogs for the local shelter helps by giving me a task I’ve promised would do at least once a week which makes it more likely that I will actually do it. And learning about dogs helps one to learn about people.
Short summary: Dogs (and cats) are reasonable and politely social. People are irrational narcissistic primates, but for some reason think that is the “normal” and commonly accepted way in which the world works. 
But I digress …
I’ve only been through the more garden variety depression associated with a marriage breakup and divorce. It took me too long to make a good adjustment but I did learn how to cope, finally.
My do-it-yourself solutions are simple basics. Eat a variety of healthy foods, get plenty of sleep, drink enough water, exercise every day, be social, and tax the brain somehow. That’s it in a nutshell. I never did take any drugs but that’s me.
Diabetes can play an influential role in how you feel emotionally and psychologically. It took me a long time to learn this but it’s the cold truth: winning at diabetes feels much better than losing. Finding a system to keep my blood glucose in a relatively tight range, reduce BG variability, and avoiding mind-numbing lows plays a huge role in keeping me on sound emotional footing. I use a system that delivers this for me and some would not want to put the efforts needed to do this, but I think it’s worth it.
Music helps too, it affects the brain waves for the better.
Some great suggestions here.
I especially like the ones suggesting looking for another therapist and just getting out and being active. Look for small victories everyday and celebrate them, practice kindness, open doors for strangers, etc.
Did your blood glucose drop after an insulin dose? Celebrate!
Did your blood glucose go up after eating? Celebrate!
Is it higher than you would like, but lower than a day/month/year ago? Celebrate!
Why? Because each event is part of a journey to gaining better skills.
We are here to help cheer you on! We know you can do it!
you might want to consider using a therapist who specializes in diabetes. we had one here a while back who does appointments online
I’d also suggest some exercising, it helps me.
and come visit us anytime, we understand.
Thanks everyone - i will try the exercise thing.
I would like to also thank you for reading and replying - i have never been this open or honest before - my husband knows how i feel, but he is so busy with his work and is only home for a few days a month right now, and i don’t want to waste our time together complaining. I did theatre, and i was brought up not to cause trouble (by a very loving family) so i can ‘do’ normal - but ‘fake it until it’s real’ isn’t working.
I eat very well, always have (vegetables, low carb and only whole grains), i drink lots of water… but exercise has been hard - I lost of lot of my muscle mass, and my general bounce - I am not overweight (yet) but being weak and out of shape doesn’t help with motivation for sport. One of the things that has been going wrong is that we have been trying to have a baby, and i have just had my fourth miscarriage in just under 3 years - i was put on bed rest again for almost the whole 11 weeks, as we had a lot of problems at the start- so I’m all weak and puffy still. (I’m old at 41, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that we are having so much trouble, but that doesn’t make it easier to keep going).
It was also the first pregnancy loss that ‘caused’ my diabetes (according to my endo) - i had to have an operation to remove it (there was no heartbeat at 13 weeks) which led to an infection which led to my immune system going into overdrive and attacking my pancreas. We have type 1 in the family, i guess i was just lucky to get through so much of my life without it. Personally, i would rather have the baby, and not the diabetes…
There are other things as well, but i don’t want to dwell on them… I am so aware that there are others who are worse off than me - i can’t watch the news right now - it’s all too awful. Does anyone else get like this?
I give money to refugee organisations, Nepal reconstruction, I would just love to go and work somewhere for a while that but i couldn’t even get in as a volunteer because …diabetes …anyhow…
I have fixed the elliptical machine (my husband broke it) and done 15 mins… so will try doing a bit more every day. I just wished i enjoyed exercise - i honestly never have unless i’m hiking in the mountains somewhere.
again, thanks. It’s a rough old road we walk sometimes isn’t it?
Ugh I feel for you, Kokos. But don’t let the feeling of knowing that other people are worse off than you keep you from allowing yourself to be depressed. It’s OK to be depressed. Just having Type 1 alone can be depressing and frustrating.
I second what some others have said about trying to find a different therapist. I have a few friends who have struggled with anxiety and depression and they have tried out many therapists before finding ones they felt comfortable with.
I also second what someone said about music. Spotify has some great playlists with gorgeous mellow songs for relaxation, or happy upbeat songs to lift you up. Pandora, too.
Exercise wise, I would suggest yoga. It’s easier to motivate yourself to do because you can tailor it to how you feel that day. Take classes in person if you are able to, or follow along with some free ones (doyogawithme.com). I feel like sometimes people get the wrong idea about yoga and think that they need to be acrobats or sweat profusely in a 105 degree room to get any benefit, but I usually just do a simple vinyasa style and focus on breathing. That’s what helps me de-stress and feel more positive. Honestly, I have taken more than one yoga class where I just laid my mat in the corner of the room, followed along with most of the class, but spent about half of the time in child’s pose taking deep breaths, because it was just one of those days. There’s no rules. Just breathe and go at your own pace. That’s what I like about it.
Bonus? Spotify playlist + yoga.
@Pastelpainter, music can salve the soul. Especially music made by oneself, including singing. I’ve played the harmonica for a long time and the ability to express my sadness through a muscial instrument was truly therpeutic. I’m not a very accomplished player but just playing for my own ears provided me an incredibly rich outlet to process my grief.
I’m sure all art has this quality. Writing, poetry, and painting can alll provide the same cathartic release.
I’ll second @YogaO’s suggestion to act kindly. Simple gestures that acknowledge the humanity of another person leave good feelings long after the act istself.
I am so sorry for your pregnancy loss. That alone is going to create depression. Couple that event with what must be happening hormonally and then add full blown diabetes to the mix along with your chief cheerleader (aka, your husband) being away (and probably trying to deal with his own grief), and … well … if you aren’t depressed, then you’re not normal!!
So yes, cry, or wail at the world, or spend some time each day mourning. Acknowledge your husband’s grief and recognize that his way of dealing with it may be different (but not necessarily better). You could also try writing a letter to yourself expressing your hurt, your anger, your frustration, etc. Sometimes the very act of putting all those depressing thoughts down on paper (or a screen) can be a release of sorts.
But you should also spend some time each day caring for yourself and others positively. Go outside when it’s sunny and just drink it in for a few minutes. The next day go for a 10 minute walk (5 out, 5 back). Look in the mirror and curse, but end by smiling at yourself. As time goes on, try spending less time on the negative and more time on the positive.
It will take time; you will have better days and worser(sp!) days; you will have days where it is impossible to take a step forward, but they will pass.
All the best to you.
I will try the link - thank you. I’m still nervous about yoga - the whole ‘sit quietly’ thing is challenging - i would like to have fewer negative thoughts - but maybe practice at home will help.
Thank you for understanding. And the wonderful new word - worser should be a fixed part of our language. As should betterer.
As in, after talking to everyone here i feel betterer than i did before.
“Betterer” has debuted already as mo’ better!
As Kokos said—so many great responses here. With @Pastelpainter and @Terry4, music is a fantastic pathway for support and release–anything from Bach to Springsteen’s Seeger Sessions will sooth me or get me moving and singing. I love what @KBJ86 said about allowing the depression in to be recognized—misery is Not a competition—it just Is…
And what @YogaO and others said about reaching out to others in kindness is so very important. Sometimes you don’t need to go far from your home to do it . I have many furry friends that I meet on my short neighborhood walks and I always carry treats—cats in one pocket; dogs in another. As @irrational_John said–interacting with them always raises my spirits. Plus, at some point, I did a sort of transference—I couldn’t do much about starvation around the globe, but I could be sure no one starves in my own backyard: we have taken in stray cats for years, gotten them fixed, cleaned up and found homes for them. I always say that they earn their keep by making me chuckle at least several times a day…
Blessings, sweetie…Finally…I lost my son (stillborn at 8 months) in 1972. The grief process is not a straight line. It meanders along it’s own determined and personal path and you can’t force it. Here is a blog I wrote about it over at the old site. I still post it most summers to honor his day and all the other parents who have had similar experiences:
oh I still can’t sit quietly! Haha, I struggle with that part, too. I always do yoga to music. Otherwise, my brain stays too busy.