So, here it is. I got out of a relationship a couple of months ago. She was a non-diabetic and it was a great relationship (BUT) there was a couple of speed bumps because of the diabetes. One issue that def, popped up more then once, was my freaking pump/sensor going off when she would stay the night. It would beep and vibrate her awake… not as romantic as it sounds. Has anyone else had this issue when sleeping with someone and having your pump on? How do you work around this kind of thing? I really hate having to worry about waking up the next person I become romantically involved with every time we share a bed. Maybe I should try to date another diabetic who wears the same kind of medical equipment… it would be like two romantic robots sharing a bed and shutting down for the night. I’ve dated another diabetic before and things did seem to workout a lot smoother in those kinds of circumstances. A friend of mine suggested going back to just shots and I said no way - my blood sugar stays on a tighter control thanks to the sensor and pump so thats out of the question.
Comments, questions, your own relationship stories good and bad? Go for it.
I’d love to hear them. Lets face it diabetes can … is a pain in the ■■■ when in a relationship and hearing others talk about it helps knowing your not alone.
Thanks guys,
Jim A.
SF, CA.
Well, it’s not the same thing exactly, but for some perspective: When I was 22 my boyfriend and I moved into an apartment for which we signed a one-year lease. We discovered at 3 a.m. the first night in our new place that there was a freight-train crossing – complete with DING-DING-DING bell, lights and gate – one block from our bedroom window. Each and every night, a train would STOP there for about :20 minutes while switches were switched and another train passed them further up the tracks. DING-DING-DING the whole time!
Believe it or not, within a couple of weeks, we both slept through what amounted to having ten alarm clocks going off at once. The mind adjusts to and tunes out the noise. If I woke up at all, it was for a few seconds, long enough for my brain to register, “Oh, that thing again…” and back to sleep I’d go.
If the young lady in question is a “keeper”, she’ll work to adjust to your occasional beep-beeps and eventually will just sleep through it or wake briefly and dive back into deep sleep. Let’s face it, you’re a T1 and that will always be part of the package. If she can’t deal, then it wasn’t meant to be.
i’m thinking you got off easy. if your pump and sensor alarms bother her THAT much she deserves to miss out on your awesomeness.
the right person will come along, d or no d <3
I think your pump is a good screener of unworthy women. Just think – without that you could have ended up getting in with her even more deeply only to find out the truth about her character after wasting way too much time on her. I think you should relish having this unworthy woman detector. I assure you, any woman worthy of your interest is not going to care about your pump alarm going off. In fact, she’ll be happy it goes off – helping you keep yourself healthy.
If you like her, I would work on getting the pump to shut up by fixing whatever is making the pump bleep at you? Is it bleeping because you are high (over indulging in romance snacks?) or low (not having romance snacks?)? I don’t hear mine until it hits the loudest bleeping noise and, once I fish it out of the covers to shut it up it’s pretty loud so it would probably be alarming to a “straight” person. I would also think that if she likes you (duh?), she would at least be concerned if your “it only goes off if I’m out of whack” alarm says you are out of whack all the time? Communication is the best thing in any relationship so having some communication would probably be a good indicator as to her keeperness (or your keeperness for her too…)?
Relationships are about compromise. At least you don’t snore. I have never heard myself snore. My wife claims otherwise.
Doesn’t it have a vibrate mode?
My snoring?
Ms. Nola hates the way my pump and dexcom look on my abdomen, but she loves the control and freedom it provides
At first she asked me if i would consider switching to shots, so i did for a few months, then she came with me to my endo and wasnt pleased with my a1C. After that she did a complete 180 and now insists on the pump and dexcom. I try my hardest to manage my levels at night as to not wake her, but then again she sleeps like a rock. The few times it does go off (low alert) i tell her its time for a snack and as long as i bring her one shes fine. I do admit its not romantic, especially the infusion sets, but whats a man to do
Honestly, my pump vibrating and beeping doesn’t bother my boyfriend at all. He’s been wonderful about all of it. He surprised me (in a good way) when once I was having a day where my sugars kept going up and up…we were going to be intimate and HE was the one who suggested I not even disconnect (I normally disconnect during that time) and said ‘It’s a part of you. Leave it on!’…I guess I got a great guy!
But honestly, if someone really cares about you, they’ll realize how important your equipment is to you and your health and won’t mind the little inconveniences.
LOL! Maybe you need to have an audible beeping alarm for your aural vibrato performances…
Jim, another vote for Kerri Sparling’s “Love me, love my diabetes”! We all have our little quirks and as long as you are actively engaged (pun intended) with your diabetes, your SO shouldn’t be a negative influence.
Mike
I had this problem in my last relationship, though it wasn’t the reason we broke up. I always have it on vibrate but there are times when that doesn’t wake me up so it will beep. On occasion it would wake her up before it would wake me up and I got a kick (which wouldn’t always wake me up right away which I think is the bigger problem). If there was anything about D that influenced the relationship, though, it was simply the fact that she made very little effort to learn anything about it. Sure, she would always mourn the loss of a super-accurate sensor with me but I think she was humoring me more than actually getting it:)
So I think it really comes down to whether or not it’s worth it. If you love the person enough, then small things like this will be worth putting up with. If not, then it’s telling you something. With the Revel I can now put it on ‘do not disturb mode’ which helps but not overnight. Like you, I won’t give up my pump or my cgm. Not even for a night if I can help it. If I were younger then I might be more accommodating, but I have so many other quirks at this point, what’s a CGM beeping?
It sucks but I think it’s probably for the best. Cheers!
The right woman won’t mind. 
Ha!
Jim,
Hi! I can totally understand. My husband is from Brazil, and from the less technologically advanced part (the mountains)… so when I say he had no idea that insulin pumps existed until he met me, I’m not exaggerating at all! When we first met 11 years ago, he walked in on me changing my set. Well- he must’ve passed out standing up because within a minute he fell flat like a board, face first into the tile floor! He ended up with a concussion!
Another time, more recently, he was literally sick to his stomach when he saw some of my pump garbage (old tubing, reservoir, etc). He has a very weak stomach and had to run to the bathroom!
He’s getting better slowly… but it’s still a hassle to remind him to be gentle with the areas where my pump is. Look, if that girl couldn’t deal with waking up once in awhile for your sensor, then she’s not for you! Find someone more understanding and maybe a heavy sleeper! That’s a good question to break the ice on a first date – “Are you a heavy sleeper?”
I snore… 
Dude,
I am sorry to hear this (about the breakup, etc.) However, I must concur with the other folks in this topic. It was probably for the best.
Your pump/sensor with its beeps comes with the “package”: you are who you are and that’s what it is. I can speak for Andreina, my wife (whom you’ve met in SF at the WDD event we last saw each other): she is not only very tolerant of the beeps and alarms that I am surrounded by. She is THANKFUL for them, because those sounds are a lifeline and keep me from going too low or too high…
My take is: if someone doesn’t see that as a something important and is too annoyed by the sounds, then probably that is a person that doesn’t value you enough… so it’s better to move on and hope that the next person “gets it”. I don’t know if that means that you should limit yourself to dating only people with diabetes: I guess I could be lucky, but my experience has taught me that you can have a blessed relationship with someone who doesn’t have diabetes.
Hope this helps!
Amen!
Jim, not very nice to say but I’m biased for my fellow diabetics. The alarm was to get rid of her. You will find someone that will be caring for your priorities, just like you will do for hers and able to make compromises. Stay upbeat and remember that your health is #1. Without it you can’t survive…
I always assumed that nobody wants a diabetic. I thought my fate was to die alone. Why choose a diabetic when there are so many non-diabetics out there? My reasoning seems to be non-standard. All the women that I approached didn’t seem to care. Maybe I selected the ones that did not care. Who knows. I am embarrassed to say that I would have rejected myself for my diabetes but no woman ever did. If you ran into a woman that is as flawed in her thinking as me, move on. Don’t worry if her rejection used diabetes as argument. I will always remember Tiger Wood’s response about harassment as a black kid. Tiger Woods said something along the lines: “Not everybody will like me. It does not matter to me whether the reason is that I am black.”. I am totally with Tiger Woods. Feeling like a victim when the label diabetes is used in the course of a rejection puts too much weight on it. It might be just a convenient excuse. Nobody is perfect. Diabetes is not so bad. Think of diabetes as a shield that protects you from women that would only go though thick with you but not through thin.