How do you know what to fight for?
Maybe I can do this whole thing on my own or maybe I can't. I don't know anymore. I feel so helpless. And hopeless. My life is in pieces.
I think I need to go back in the hospital because I'm just replacing one behavior with another. And not good ones either.
I HATE you diabetes.
I'm not sure I would look to a hospital to 'fix' diabetes? All of my post dx encounters w/ hospitals have been for either hypoglycemic catastrophes, which are invariably strange, or a couple of wipe outs where I got stitched back together, except for the time with the teeth, since I had to wait for the dentist to get the teeth fixed.
What is your goal out of the hospital? I did all sorts of horrible behaviors (cf. 24 Hour Party People?) but sort of kept diabetes on a short leash so the party wouldn't stop? Unfortunately, there's no 'magic bullet' they can give you at a hospital to fix it. It is there and you have to do a lot of work to fix it. It always made sense to me to at least try to do ok? Even when I didn't do as well as I hoped, I'd sort of step back and look and try to figure out what I could fix?
What do I fight for? Well I wasn’t even sure until just now. I have a friend that lives 10 hours away from me. Bee Jae’s her name. She’s kinda taken me as her little sister. Because of the distance, we don’t see eachother alot. I know that if I don’t fight, I’ll lose any chance of ever seeing her again. I also have another girl thats taken me in as her little sister. Her name is Mariah. She lives 8 hours away. Again, not fighting means losing all hope of seeing her again. So I guess in a way, I’m fighting out of love for my “big sisters.”
I agree with you about hateing diabetes but honey what I have fought for for years is ME!!! YOU CAN DO THIS & when your feeling down come to us and say so!
I fight because I want to live, even as crappy as life can be sometimes. I do the things that take me outside myself because there's nothing more dreary to me than a life of self-absorption. As corny as it sounds, I look for something of beauty every day. We don't observe brilliant sunsets constantly, but beauty surrounds us if we take a minute to look for & at it. A moment of awe is all it takes to see the world as breathtaking. Harder to do when everything is crashing in & we feel completely overwhelmed & despondent.
I hope you can get hospital treatment.
Aaahh, dogs always do it for me also & why I have several:) Nothing like canine joie de vivre & unconditional love.
Denver's public transportation joke is the number 15 bus that travels Colfax Avenue, the longest continuous road in the US at 26 miles. All manner of life can be found on Colfax -- prostitute, drug dealer, homeless, mentally ill, gang-banger, suit, conservative Christian, tree-hugger liberal. A ten-minute ride on the 15 bus as it lurches up and down the "longest, wickedest street in America" is enough to make me feel better about having a roof over my head, food in the cupboard, a job (with insurance), and clean clothes on my back. I fight because I have these things when so many don't.
I fight for my cat because he couldn't defend himself shadow boxing.
And I fight because, if I didn't, then I've let the bastards win.
This past summer i was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, and after and still to this day I have it extremely hard. My immune system is shot from everything, I am sick all the time but mainly I couldn't practice softball to fulfill my goal of playing college softball. People were talking about me and to my face telling me I could never do what I have always wanted to do now. So to this day I am fighting to prove those idiots that they are the ones that won't amount to anything because I WILL fight hard and prove them wrong. So prove to people that Diabetes is just a name and fight to let people know that Diabetes will NOT STOP YOU. Because of fighting I am now getting college letter from all of the United States and rubbing it in their faces!
Hi Michelle
I'm sorry that you feel so down and I feel for you.
I read another of your recent blog posts so I agree with you that going into the hospital would be a good thing.
If that isn't posible perhaps there is a support group or an outpatient facility that you could go to for help during this trying time.
I hope things get better for you
brn
I know what you can fight for, Fight For Life. For me Diabetis is another thing that I got from my Grandmother, Mother and so on. I've been dealing with it since 1993 and gone through a lot of bad times, even a diabetic coma which put me on the start of 3 different insulins for a daily regiment. So yes it is sucks but I don't let it win all the time.
So, I keep it in the forefront and keep on going knowing that the needles and pills are there to help manage on a weekly basis. Take care.
what to fight for is a personal question. but I had a good friend who decided to give up and left the party way too soon. He had a lot to live for and lot of people who would have done anything to help him but he decided to go anyway. still hurts to this day for us he left. I am still angry over how he cheated himself out of so many great experiencesbecause he couldn’t see beyond the rough patch he was in. please don’t let this happen to you. You are very important to many people and they are around you and want you to thrive. the fight is hard but it is not hopeless. figure out what you need to do and do it and start moving forward