Well just broke down. I was testing my sugar, and I hear Macey say “When I grow up I take shots just like you and Mimi”(Mimi is my mother), This was a statement not a question. I sit down on the floor with her and tell her we have to talk. I explain I hope she never has to take shots like Daddy and that Daddy takes the shots so he doesn’t get sick again. I explain that my insides don’t work right. Told her I do what I do so I can still play with her and Violet. I don’t know how to explain it to her in a way a 3yr old understands.
Needless to say after our talk and a big hug I just went into my room and cried. I am glad she is not freaked out about me being “sick” and she accepts this as somewhat the norm, but I don’t want her to think it is a norm that she will have to do. My greatest fear now is passing Diabetes on to her or her sister or that she will grow up feeling in fear of me being to low or high.
Wow - they do tug at the ole heart strings don’t they? You handled your babygirl beautifully and I’m sure you will do fine with her sister too. Try not to live in fear of passing on your ‘condition’ to your kids. Remember if they inherit your illness, they also inherit your strengths and your kindness and all the other lovable parts of LewisJ1474. Also remember how much treatment for D has improved in our time - it can’t help but get easier and easier for the next generation. And that’s if there’s still no cure in the wind.
Wow, it is heart breaking, but beautiful at the same time. She wants to be like you in every way. Hope that diabetes will not be part of it, but if it is, she will have the greatest support that a person could hope for! And she gives you true love!
Out of the mouths of babes, eh? It’s clear your little girl loves you – she wants to be just like you when she grows up. If you do it, it has to be cool. You didn’t “pass” this onto your child. It may come to be that she’s built like us. Not your fault, you had nothing to do with it. My parents both developed T2 and all 4 of grandparents were T2s. I’m a T1 – the docs figured that this was something of my own. Our genes are the hand we are dealt. She’s very little and she will come to understand that you are doing maintenance on your engine and she’s going to be very well-adjusted to your diabetes. You are not the same person as your mom and you’ve learned by example. You’re doing well.
My husband is a Type I and has been for 35 yrs. Almost 4 yrs. ago our daughter was diagnosed at age 2. You never know what life will hand you - but as hard as it is to believe, it does get easier. Teaching your children how to help you, empowers them to not be afraid. The best thing that every happened for me was helping my husband through a bad reaction - and sucessfully using glucagon. Once that happened, I knew that I could take care of my daughter as well. My children learned that keeping a cool head we can get through it.
I used to work in childcare and sometimes the kids would ask when they would have to start taking shots and testing their blood. I guess it’s a bit different, because I am not genetically related to those kids. I always found it a bit sad, but also kind of nice that it was somehow not freakish or weird to them (as it seems to be to so many adults). Similar to you, I would explain that they probably wouldn’t have do any of the diabetes things ever, but if they did I would be there to help them if they needed.
Anyway, I know it was a difficult and sad moment, but it sounds like you did okay talking things out with your daughter.
((hugs))
V.
PS- Also, and maybe I read too much into this, but I don’t really see it as ‘passing it on’- it’s not something you have control over. It’s nobody’s fault that you got diabetes and I don’t think it would be your fault if Macey or Violet got diabetes. I understand that it is a fear though, especially when it’s someone you love.
I have an 8 year old kid and I know what you mean about being afraid to pass the big D down. One time my kid was urinating every 10 minutes for a couple of days. Freak the hell out of me and eventually i told him we have to test you. I thought about testig him the first day but I was afraid of the outcome. Well the next day he had this huge bowl of icecream so I decided to test right after that. I broke out the handy meeter and he did not freak out about being tested. He always wants me to test him and i tell him its not necessary but this time I did. Well after a big bowl of ice cream a nice 75.
Its those incidents that freak me out. My son never saw me shoot up insulin because he was under 2 years of age. I eventually went to pills from insulin after better control. I know it heart wrenching to see them freak out. Since I was taking all kinds of meds for a while I was throwing up constantly and he would get so freaked out and go and hide and that would tear me up.
I read a lot of comic books so I tell him that diabetics are like super heroes. Like superman’s problem with kryptonite we have issues with pancreas. So when I have a low I tell him I got hit with kryptonite and I have to let it process. He is older now and he knows its not the truth but when he was younger he sure did believe it.
From the mouths of babes, I think you’re doing just fine with explaining to her.
Live for today and don’t fret about the what if’s. You gotta cross those bridges when you get to them (((hugs)))
