I am not sure how to cope any more. For years I have been able to handle it but it seems like lately it has gotten more and more difficult. I am a T2 on a insulin pump, I have my A1C hovering at 7.6 down from a high of 13 years ago.
I am dealing with people in my life family, and friends, and co-workers who seem to think they know more than I do. I have read book after book after book about diabetes. I understand it like many of us on here do. I know I shouldn't just sit down and eat sugar, or eat unhealthy food, but I have to admit I like to spoil myself and eat some tasty stuff along with the healthier items.
How do you handle people at work, or in your life thinking that a diabetic can't eat this or that? How do you deal with it, I find it is adding more and more stress to my life, and am tired of explaining myself to people. Granted I am not under 7% but 7.6 if I was doing something that bad would be off the charts.
Curious to hear how you all handle this, and ways to handle stress that comes along with diabetes in general. For example my insulin just went up to 100 bucks a month for the same amount that I paid for last year and it was 25 a month. Anyone have tricks up your selves to deal with all the stress that we all get from diabetes?
My diabetes is mine, I own it. If my A1C was 7.6, I'd be working really hard to get it down, but because that's what I WANTED to do. Are you sure the other people in your life aren't correct? If you were in the 6s, or lower, you'd have the facts on your side and their opinions wouldn't be stressing you out. Just be honest with yourself, then do the best you can and always know your life is your own. The critics may not go away, but you can handle what they say better if you just believe in yourself. I'm so sorry about your increased costs, that's really a bummer. Maybe you could modify your diet so you didn't need as much insulin? I suggest that, not having a clue what your needs are, it just seemed logical to me. If you're unhappy with my comments, then please practice telling people to butt out of your business by starting with me.
I rarely get those comments. When I do I ask them what they know about D, which is usually next to nothing. If they are receptive I'll do a little education. But your post made me think, why are you getting so many comments? It may be appropriate to reflect on that. What is it that is causing those who know you to react this way? Why can't the healthier food be as good tasting and satisfying as the "good stuff"? Personally I don't like to use any more insu;in than absolutely necessary. I don't like how it makes me feel and I hate chasing my BG. There are a lot of things I just don't eat any more because they just aren't worth the trouble. I also made a committment to myself to keep my BG as close to normal as I could. Given all that, I have been able to assemble a diet that is very satisfying and varied. I can still indulge from time to time and have no problem finding something at a restaurant that will work for me. Most days I use about 4 to 6 units per day. Most boluses are 2 units. But that's all for me. For me, an A1s in the 7's would be devistating and force me into OCD mode.
What to do now? I would evaluate where I am with my D knowledge and control. Is it what I want it to be? Am I comfortable with it and how I feel overall? If I am okay with my answers then other people's comments are of no concern. But if their comments really bother me I'm most likely not being honest with myself. BTW this is true for anything, not just D.
Wow, I on the other hand would be happy with a 7.6 A1C. And again YDVM. I see a lot of people here with what I consider good averages that seem still unhappy with their number. My doctors have always told me to aim between 4-8 BG (approx conversion 70-240)and I have a hard time even doing that. Right now I am at 8.3% from 12% over a year ago. I am working hard and trying to pay attention and I am really proud of myself, eventho my sugars are not in range yet... i will leave the obsessing about a tighter range for the future, geez. Don't you guys go making ppl feel bad for what they have accomplished. Way to go Damon for bringing it down to a healthier number!
My friends and family always "tried to help" when I was still in denial and that would only create binges behind their backs for trying to impose things on me. Or I would be so resentful I would lash out "well eating healthy and being healthy is important for everyone, D or non-D, you quit smoking, you exercise more, you stop eating sugars altogether and I'll do it too" Of course its easier to judge that to make the changes yourself. If some of those friends take on the challenge is easier to cope, because there is someone having a hard time with you, and when you cave and they cave you can comfort each other and get back on the wagon together.
As I said I've come along way but I still have ppl asking me why I don't do this or that and pointing out that if I don't get my sugars under control I won't be able to have babies... like I don't stress enough about my D already. I don't agree with Cosumne and Randy about becoming OCD/working really hard to bring it lower...(because believe me despite what the numbers say I already am) but I do agree that the key is to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. If you are tired of having to explain to everyone, then don't, just nod and let it go. And there is ppl of all makes and colors in this world, some can eat healthy-organic and exercise 3h a day, keep skinny, their sugars are always at 5.6, have no sex or drink alcohol and believe they are going to heaven... see what I'm getting at? Do what you can and what makes you happy. When you are happier it helps make better choices, and when you make better choices your body is happier and you feel happier.
My trick to avoid diabetes related stress has been to find other hobbies that are more important. When I was younger, it was wild, rock and roll debauchery. Staying up late, partying my brains out, learning how to play guitar, being in bands, etc. Then I got old, sort of slowed down and my main hobby was reading, which was not quite engaging enough to pull me out of my doldrums.
I might have been drifting in the wrong direction (weight, BP, cholesterol, etc. A1C ok but SD all over the place I think?). Independently of diabetes, I fell for the "exercise is the antidote to obesity" argument and decided to start working out. That was about 2005 or 6 or maybe 4 and I have stuck with it. If I have something planned, shooting bottle rockets in the basement back in the daze or going for a run now (and I started walking...), I am inclined to work to keep diabetes more in line. I don't look at diabetes as a thing I do "for" diabetes but something I do "with" diabetes although perhaps the net effect of "for" vs. "with" is muted?
I've read some books too and, while I find them interesting, part of me thinks that I've done better perhaps because of the "medication friendly" philosophy I developed during the "wild years" and just looking at it as a constant experiment that needs a strong hand on the tiller. If something doesn't work, I figure "ok were my carbs off or is my dose off?" and, if they are, I file it away for "next time" and figure even a "bad" test, can still provide good data so when "next time" rolls around, I can try to "beat" my "score"? I am always doing stuff like that in my head. I don't usually even bother talking to the doctor about it as I'm sure they'd think I was totally nutso.
I know you mean well so I am not going to tell you to butt out. Instead I will respond. An A1C in the 7's is "decent" and 6's is "well controlled". However even eating a diet with out cheating prescribed by my doctor and his team which was almost over kill for even a rabbit the lowest I have ever managed was a 7.3. I have tried diets that were aimed to help and they didn't, not to mention I am not over weight I am actually under weight so they have to watch that I don't lose more weight.
My insulin intake is at a bare minium I have reduced it as far as I can, I need some to keep things going which is my background insulin. Most meals I use about 1 to 2 units if that. Compared to other diabetics I know that are using 15 to 25 units for a meal, I have cut my meals to reduce the need for it and to try to cut my A1C.
My critics are uneducated people who love to poke their nose in my business. I try not to let it get to me, but it does, I am human. I can say it doesn't but I still hear it.
I would too love to have an A1C in the 6's trust me. I have done everything possible to include going on special diets, eating only food that was prepared at a hospital etc. The only thing that normally happens is my A1C drops a little always above 7, and I lose more weight, which I really do not need to lose as I am not under weight. My team of specialist out here in Arizona can not figure out why it will not drop below 7.
As for why I get so many comments, one of the reasons is I work with mother hens. I have had other health issues (unreleated to diabetes), so that starts it. So when I do decide I can afford to eat a treat which isn't often I actually get sick eatting candy or sweets anymore, comments are made. Today eating fresh fruit and vegi's I got the comment.
I think what I need to do is take the stance of education and try to get them to understand them. Comments can bother people, its just part of being human, if you hear things it really start to get to a person, even if its not true.
Thanks, I am amazed how quick people with Diabetes seem to turn on others with it. Encouragement is the best medicine. I can tell you I was over 12% a few years ago and it was a drastic change and I was able to drop it almost 4 points in about 6 months so you're doing awesome as well. I wish I could get mine lower but nothing I do, or the doctors do gets me lower.
I do know that I am working hard, and believe like yourself that I am and know what I am giving up. I have worked hard to get to where I am now, lost about 25lbs and am now underweight, and magically I am not heavy with diabetes so I shut those critics up.
I really appreciate the advise, and the encouragement it helps to know that there is someone else working hard and seeing some of the same stuff I have seen.
I think like you say I need to nod and just let it go, not worry what they think and just move on. My close true family and friends who have taken the time to understand diabetes and see what changes I have made and continue to make support me. Thanks for the words of encouragement and advice!
Great points, I did take up a few hobbies, I have had diabetes for a while so had a few hobbies come and go (super glue and I don't get along so models went out fast lol).
I think you have a novel idea though and make it a competition with yourself. I get a bad reading very rarely, although with CGM I can see the number creeping up from time to time. I say I need to not do that again when I know what I did. But trying to beat my body at its own game may not be a bad idea of how to think about it.
If you "rarely" get a "bad" reading but think your A1C needs to improve, maybe you need to redefine your definition of "bad"? I'm not entirely besotted with Dr. Bernstein (i.e. I like carbs, beer, junk food, Jameson's, etc...) but think that his suggestion that people with diabetes deserve normal BG, instead of "well, 140 is pretty decent, *high five*" is very sound. If you want a lower A1C, the way to get there would be by lowering your target, unless you are in a hypoglycemic stupor all the time, there's probably room to move? It can be a lot of work but it sounds like you are doing a lot of work anyway so maybe the problem is targets which might be based on something your doc said rather than something you want?
Obviously you have to be careful messing around with dangerous drugs like insulin and all that but, at the same time, if your A1C is 7.6, that's an average of 138ish. I'd want to change that if it were me but if you are generally doing what you are supposed to be, it may be something like switching a ratio a point or two? When my BG gets off, I will change my pump from 8-1 to 7-1 and see the difference immediately and perceptibly. I just got a new pump and am sort of intimidated by having access to tenths (8.3 vs. 8.7? hmmmmm...) but it's always a work in progress?
Is it the diet or the ratio? I have found that it doesn't really matter that much what the food is, as long as I'm counting it and keeping an eye on ratios. I have noticed that mine seem to change, or have periodic shifts, so I fiddle with my pump and it gets better for a while and then shifts again. I dunno if that happens to everyone but a little bit of insulin can make a big difference in BG numbers which, spread out over time, could make a big difference in A1C results that you are talking about? I don't think that doctors are necessarily aggressive enough but, on the other hand, insulin is dangerous and it may not be worth whatever risks are involved in trying adjustments but, if you aren't happy with the results you're getting, it may be the best option?
AR, wouldn't an A1c of 7.6 equate more to an average of like 193ish?
Damon, I commend you for working hard and bringing your numbers down but I agree with everything AR has said.
I don't look at the comments you've gotten here as criticism, but more as encouraging you to set goals that will keep you healthier in the long run.
My last A1c was 7.6 also and I have been fighting with everything I have to bring it down. Believe me when I say I know how hard it is. I'm battling female hormone changes and went to a pump about a month ago for flexibility in setting basal rates.
Since going on the pump and eating low carb, my average bg based on my pump meter is 140, which would equate to an A1c of around 6.1 I think. Of course, that's only over about a 6 week period and I feel like I can do better as I'm just now getting my basals set (and crossing my fingers they don't change tomorrow!).
You say that your medical team can't figure out why you can't lower your A1c. My dietician told me to eat 40-60 grams of carb per meal...and if I do that, I am on a bg rollercoaster and my numbers would never come down. I've had much more success eating about 40-60 grams of carb *per day*. Look at your diabetes as a constant experiment. Just try eating lower carb for a week and see what happens...if you eat enough protein, you will not lose more weight.
First thing is first, take a deep breath. Try and relax. Anxiety has an effect on diabetes as well, or so i'm told. Look at your ratios and try fine tuning them. The more you can do that, the better you'll be. Are you exercising frequently? if not, then make a plan to start doing it. That will help also. The reality is your doing good and are looking for ways to make it better. That's admirable in it's own right. Hang in there. Don't let what others ask get you down. Take it with a grain of salt. Most often they think they are helping in asking those annoying questions. They mean well. Think of an acceptable way to respond to them. Consistently use it. You'll be good to go. Hang in there.
We are all so very different. I hope that you do not take anything I say as critical of your efforts. All I can do is offer up what I do and what I have learned in the hope that something will help another PWD in their battle. What I do know is that by the time I was diagnosed I had developed some pretty bad PN and retinopathy. None of the doctors held out much hope to improve these conditions. The only thing they offered was maintaining as normal a BG as possible could stop the progression. After just a few weeks on the prescribed diet (essentially the ADA diet) I knew it would never get me the results I needed. I cut the carbs way back, narrowed my menu to what I knew was safe and figured out my insulin use. In Oct of 2010 my A1c was 12.3. In Feb of 2011 it was 5.6 then 5.4 and has been 5.5 since. All of my complications have greatly improved and I see more improvement every week. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I don't feel like I had a choice in my approach if I did not want to go blind and be crippled. The last thing any one would do is to describe me as OCD, far from it. So, adapting to this new regime has been my biggest challenge. But, the alternatives are no real choice at all.
Because I have been through the looking glass with complications, I am really concerned for people who are struggling with numbers that put them in harms way. If they could only look through my eyes, even today, or see me typing with two fingers when I used to do over 80 wpm so they could understand what the future may hold. These are the things that motivate me. These and the people I love. I could give a rat's a** what other people might think.
I am more direct with people. If I get a comment that I don't like and it happens over and over I just say "please stop telling me that. I work hard and know how to control my Diabetes. Though I appreciate your attempt at help, your comments just upset me and are not really helpful." and yes I have hurt feelings saying that but guess what it sounds like they are hurting your feelings and don't know it so most people do actual handle that very well to be told to please stop.
Also if you have not watched this video yet you will get a good laugh out of it I think: CLICK HERE TO WATCH
My read is at min one wants to get 155 (6.9 a1c) and closer to 140. It was at this level my kidneys stabalized, hemoraghes left retina's and weight dropped and got off starlix/glyburide, actos and switched to met and insulin with far batter results.
When one's numbers crawl up; that usually is clear sign insulin resistance is crawling/increasing up and backing glucose up in system.
Portion size and calorie/carbs counting with sufficient heraty exercise needed to keep numbers down as stated.
Also liver throwback and glucose production and incorrect glucose release when liver is supposed to be fasting will mangle up numbers and throwoff.
For me that is as follows:
a) metformin to lower liver release of glucose.
b) portion and carbs control and NO extra snacking - I maintain a 1200 calories day target.
c) walking or other suitable heraty exercise to keep burning glucose off. I do 1.5 to 2 miles walking a day.
I would watch out and restrict carbs such as grains, breads, pasta , rice carefully - yes eat em but tight portion control.
When I do that my numbers stay in bounds and do not creep up. WHen I do not get sufficient exercise - I see BG crawl up.
I see where you are coming from, and now that I see it then it becomes easier to listen to your advice.
Knowing people with Diabetes around me that haven't taken responsibility yet and are still on denial my initial urge is to shake them up and tell them is not the end of the world, suck it up, it is possible to take care of yourself! Somebody had to teach you how to pee inside of the toilet, then is just a question of practicing until you get it right...(wow, my examples are always so weird)
On the other hand, I was there not so long ago and when you are down on yourself and scared to even try you just close your eyes and your ears. Encouragement, support and humour brought me halfway out. And now I can listen to stories like yours and hopefully learn from them.
Thanks Maycri. I think that most people believe that a disease is a disease and their doctor can simply tell them what to do and give them the meds to take care of it. This condition, like many others, affects the whole person. It didn't take long to realize that relying on my doctor to manage and adjust was never going to be sufficient to successfully manage my life. I have yet to meet some one who has taken that route that actually understands what they are doing. Usually they have been following the program for years with A1c's around 7 and don't understand why they are developing complications. It is so sad and so avoidable. But it akes a lot of work and goes against the grain.
Hi damon, i read this thread earlier and did not reply, i just stopped my yoga practice because you were on my mind! here is what i think, the other responders were very concerned with your a1c, and your control, yes your control, not to be compared to anyone elses, you have made big improvements. in anycase your question had more to do with how to respond to coworkers that judge you in the name of concern for your 'condition'. we all make multiple decisions daily that effect our heath, i am sure all of your coworkers decisions are not always the best, i would tell them that their 'concern' is making you feel worse about your diabetes, you are a well educated grown up that knows what is best for your health. my son is 13 and i pretty much let him eat normal for now, which is 85 % healthy i would say as he gets older, the whole family will try to go more low carb. but anyways it is your life, your decisions, tell then thank you but no thank you, ask them how would you feel if everything you ate was always under scrutiny! no offense to them but they may not realize the discomfort they are causing you. i hope you work this out and keep trying your best everyday it is empowering to make healthy choices one at a time, but it is also ok to have something you crave once in a while! best of luck back to my yoga, on no missed my window of opportunity, i need to make dinner, i hope my effort was worthwhile and you feel better! amy
