-Choked snicker- Thank you my diabetic brother, I weep and softly laugh... how bout a nice sugar-free Pez popping into a little tray (choking on my tears) embedded in the chair when we do press the magic button?!
Look, let me be a straight as I can. This one is a HUGE @()#*@*@@ demon on multiple levels.
Any vision issue, can in theory be reported to the state. Prefer not to give ammunition, information/data to anybody EVER which can come back to harm me no matter how remote that potential. No faith on any level.
Been both crucified and literally blackmailed to varying degrees by many "white coats" to do XYZ in my four decades. As have you, and others. Some procedure, a technique, a visit they wish, and we do not.
Ridiculously standard example, so what I'm out of insulin before I see them again and they won't renew the script regardless until I do see them. Ummmngh, how do I stay alive without insulin chuckles, waiting to see you, your "highest majesty" (scathing sarcasm)?... there are dozens of simple examples, which while I can comprehend their view... my relationships are never relationships with any trust or faith in them on any level.
A relationship which is entirely reciprocated toward us the diabetic community. Simplistic labels like non compliant, etc. They know "best", are never wrong, always ask the right questions, to really comprehend whats going on, where we are at.... and of course never perform procedures in their own self-interest right? But let's remove that piece for a moment. A dangerous, dangerous bias on my part, I accept.
The bigger (serious) demons are two fold:
A) the entirely futile nature of the procedure to which this peripheral test will guarantee, at some point.
B) this is one of the demons, which gets beaten into all our heads, (every diabetic) since our diabetic infancy. It is one hell of a long way from this stupid ridiculously subjective test to "blindness", I am not that arrogant, and understand that serious truth.
Even so however I've towed the line, done the @*#(@&#@& work, and STILL in spite of my blood, tears.... the decades of severe and serious efforts on my part have bought and paid for.... Yippee, COMPLICATIONS, eye issues, the SLT laser, etc.
My very best efforts have achieved, a result I cannot face. My spirit is rent, my sword broken, neither to be whole again.