I seem to get so much prejudice from non-diabetics and I find it hard to bite my tongue! What can I do?
My sister has told me that because I went down to my local hospital while suffering from high blood glucose levels (going up 2 points every half an hour, due to chest infection!!) that until I find some kind of medication that will not allow me to do that then she does not want me to visit her in San Francisco! I wrote her a long e:mail explaining that I am normally reasonably in control but sometimes when I have an infection (as in this case) things do go awry, and that this time it was not so serious because I was on to it and checking frequently! I tried to explain that I do know what to do in a crisis which is why it did not become a crisis and I was not kept in or treated other than with antibiotics and high self administered doses of insulin. She just kept going on about she could not cope with her two children AND me in hospital in the US and that I would not get insurance so it would be better that I did not come! She is very unsympathetic towards people who are ill As it happened I did manage to get insurance and I AM going but it has put a dampner on things.
I wanted to help out in our local prison with prisoners with reading and writing problems and also with a course for rehabilitation and consequences of their crimes. I went once and thoroughly enjoyed it but was then told that I could not go back because I was diabetic! What?
And the latest one, I have a blind friend who I take around our local town. She expressed a wish to go to London. I offered to take her. I too would like to go to London and could go with her as her guide. She said, "Well you would be no good to me. You are diabetic!" So what? I was at a dinner party so did not dare answer her.
I do suffer from highs and lows but I deal with it. I have only every been unconscious with a hypo once and that was due to the wrong insulin. It is true I do not have any awareness of the hypos until they happen but can deal with them quickly. And I do suffer from depression so this kind of prejudice is really hard to deal with!
I can certainly relate to what you are saying. Ignorance can be so very hard to deal with! And some of the ignorant don't really want to be educated, so trying to reason with them is like trying to talk to a wall!
It must be very hurtful when it's your own sister who is so ignorant!
Do you live in Latvia, or are you referring to your descent? I had one grandmother from Lithuania, so we are neighbors!
You take care, and don't let it get you down -- there are a lot of other people in the world who will understand.
it makes it so hard to be open with people. its only normal to want to open up with friends and family but when we get responses like that it teaches us to keep our mouths shut and then we suffer in silence. its harder to try to educate them and it gets frustrating. i try to just keep my mouth shut but i still constantly try to educate my friends and try not to complain. i dont want their sympathy, i just want them to appreciate the extra steps that i have to go through every day to keep my sugars normal (i try to keep them normal and they still never are)
i try and try to keep them normal and when they arent its still my fault! urgh…
im sick of my sister roller her eyes at me every time i bring up diabetes!
o u really so kind to others and they are rude to uo u about diabetes....i understand i told a distant friend and she says sorry bout your sad news.. we when l i told her im not dead yet ..so u really learn about which friendships go two ways people really have to realise peoles emotions.. its kind of like being racist it get hard to not blame all of all of our other factors in our lives like blood pressure and headaches and arthritis and all things asociated with being women... hormone changes even tho positave comments are always best so cheers to u and good health
I know its hard, I face a lot of the same nonsense. I got on an elevator with a man once. I was holding a bag of candies. He asked me what my insulin pump was and I told him. He goes "Oh, you should not eat that, then..." Really, dude?! I also get it from my mother, who automatically associates everything that goes wrong in my life to the diabetes that she thinks is utterly hopeless. So I feel you there, too.
Depending on my mood, I just nod and agree, no matter how ridiculous what they are saying is, or I try to explain the best I can. I try not to get frustrated, but it is hard sometimes. I don't feel bad about it, though. My parents have no excuse not to know whats going on with my diabetes, all they have to do is ask me and listen, but they don't, so the onus is on them. But you certainly do not have to bite your tongue, its fine to try to educate someone.
As long as you feel good about your diabetes, that is all that matters. You can only educate those who are willing to learn, and if they are not willing to learn for you, that is sad on their part. Focus on, or find the people who are willing to learn, and can support you when you get down about it. You can turn to those people when your sister is on your back about something.
One time a friend introduced me to someone as "the diabetic girl." I held it together for the sake of her company, but wrote out a huge rant and sent it to a lot of people I know, trying to explain how people don't know enough about diabetes and can be so insensitive. This helped me, as I like to express myself through my writing. Maybe doing it on a smaller scale and sending it to your sister might help? Or having a discussion with the same thoughts in mind?
I hope you feel better about this. It feels lonely sometimes, but there are a lot of people who DO understand you and WONT judge you for your diabetes, control or no control.
I get the stuff by proxy. My daughter is the T1 and when I test her at a soccer game I get a new parent/grandparent to the team that asks what I was doing. I tell them she is type 1 diabetic and they say "REALLY! She doesnt LOOK diabetic." I take that time to educate them about diabetes and the type she has. Sometimes I want to just tell them to STFU but that would not get them educated about the differences and how to live with it. I am always pointing out that she is a normal, regular, fun loving kid that plays sports/skins knees/dances/everything that other kids do but it just so happens that she has diabetes. Keep your head up is all I can offer to you as I am still, relatively, new to this disease as well.
I do not have a good overall answer to this issue.However, when someone tells me no I tend to get angry. Real angry about such things. Given all of this nonsense, I would smile (or tell the blind person, thatis fine i dont need your help to see SF, got to London etc.
Then drop it cold. they will be having fits wondering how you will do it or if you will see your sister. When they ask, ask why? Hey I love SFC, I hear London is neat, we dont need those people to go with us. Don't give them the satisfaction of thinking they ruined sometime. Instead find someone else to go with, you will have more fun anyway.
This was posted a long time ago, but it made me think of a friend I have who used to have a diabetic girlfriend. He ALWAYS complained to me how her blood sugars were all over the place and how I seemed much better in control.
Meanwhile, I have no idea who this girl is or why her blood sugars seem erratic to him, but he clearly wants me to judge her for it. I finally got fed up and told him it was unfair of me to pass judgment on her because I don't know her. Also, I have times when my blood sugars go crazy and I can't help it! Unless we're actively choosing not to treat ourselves, Why should people that don't have diabetes judge us.
Sometimes peoples' ignorance about diabetes really astounds me. Some questions I get are innocent and harmless, but sometimes I'm afraid to check my blood sugars because I can see my friends and family sneaking a peak and judging the number.
Ugh... Sorry to here about these incidences! The one about the prison seems so odd!
