I am a 27 year old Type1 diabetic and although I have had times of good glucose readings, it has been more of a roller coaster ride than anything. I have about a 5 day max of really eating and exersicing “perfectly” and then I just lose all control and go over board! I know that it is psycological. I get angry because I have to monitor my glucose and think like a pancreas all the time and rebel against it. I know that this is to a fault and I’m going to suffer for it and I hate it. Any advice on how to overcome this psycological monster? Ten years is long enough not to be in control.
sorry about your troubles. what is that causes you to lose control. are you restricting yourself too much? IMHO No one can be an angel all the time i sometimes allow myself to cheat and either up the meds/exercise or expect to pay the price. i try to remember after a bad reading that is just ONE number and there will be another test again to redeem myself. try to live in the moment and don’t beat yourself up too badly. take care
I agree with Joe. If I restrict myself too much I can go crazy and eat everything in sight. Try to plan your little rebellions so that your BGs don’t go crazy. Good luck!
Joe! I love that! Live the moment. I’ll have to remember that. I can also let things pile on me and beat myself up for days about one bad outcome.
A number of people have sought counseling for psych issues, which they’ve found helpful, so that is something to look into.
I’m also a 27 yeard that’s slowly coming out of a long rebellious phase. For me it helps as other have mentioned not to focus on the long term, and at most the intermediate. The future is too distant to really have an impact now (even as an adult). Because it’s too much to do everything “perfectly” and to do so at once (even if it’s after a break) I just focused on small steps…starting with consistently doing a fasting BS every day…and making that my sole goal for at least a month. If I tested at any other time that was a bonus 
(During both the rebellious phase and after I’ve always taken insulin basal and bolus~even if it’s accurate). The key to this was mentally not putting pressure on myself to test more often than my goal nor feel bad if I didn’t test more often, but only focus on meeting the goal I had set and using positive self talk when thinking about it (like a mental “good job” when I did it and if I hadn’t …not overly negative but try harder tomorrow)
To put it into persepective, it’s been about 1.5 years since I started with just fasting BS…and all I’ve added was testing consistently before meals and exercise (and driving if I happen to do so, but it’s rare). I do test after meals but not as consistently (more dependent on how I’ve been trending and what I’m eating). Nor do is testing perfect everyday…if I go home or other circumstances intervene, I may test less often and go back to guess bolusing…
My current step is to really work on carb counting and becoming more accurate…since for the most part I do some very liberal guessing (no weighing, not even really looking stuff up unless I’m in a “good” mode, but guessing on past experience)
Positive self talk and talking with other going through similar things really helps… I still feel discouraged that I’m not as “good” as other people or as I could be…but then I compare to where I used to be and it’s a huge improvement…
As you accomplish more small goals the whole experience of D management becomes more positive…like it seems as if you can actually do it and it’s something to be proud of no matter how little the effort seems because w/ D each positive step counts and is much bigger than you might think
As pathetic as it may sound, it helps just knowing that other people struggle like I do. Thanks so much for the response and that is a great idea about setting a small goal and focusing on it. I really appreciate it.
~Becky
Not pathetic at all …and one of the things I love about this site …because it has normal humans rather than the ideal patient that we are supposed to be according to doctors and sometimes friends/families. I think being allowed to “fail” or mess-up/struggle and knowing it’s okay to do so, is what eventually allows us to move on
Hi Becky,
I know exactly how you feel. My controls are quite bad even when I try to do everything perfect. My last endo didn’t believe me when I said I was trying to do all I could. He used to say “If you get these results must be because of something. I JUST don’t believe you.”. A couple weeks after that conversation I decided I couldn’t see him anymore. I changed to my actual endo and now, at least, feel understood.
Right now, I check my BG 9 times a day (more or less) if everything is ok. I take picture of everything I eat (this just only for a week before visiting my endo) and make exercise 3 days or more a week. My last A1C was 7.3 but I try not to feel bad about it. I’m doing all I can and try to improve everyday. I think that’s the key point: try to do the best you can, but don’t stop “living”. Feeling depressed won’t help you.
You can do it 
Hi Becky! I have to agree with a lot of what people are saying here. I’m also 27 and I’ve been type one for about six years now. I’m on the pump now and my last A1C was 6.4 (YAY! ) It’s been such a bumpy ride getting to the point where I can actually control my blood sugars, but my attitude about diabetes is definitely the hardest thing I’ve had to work on! I was fortunate enough to deal with a great ‘diabetes team’ when I got my pump. It’s so so so important to not be so hard on yourself! I remember when I first started the pump, I would check in with the nurse practitioner and always get so nervous about telling her my numbers because they weren’t good yet and I thought I was doing something wrong. She finally drilled it into my head that it wasn’t my fault. I try so hard and I have those times when my body just doesn’t cooperate, or I make a huge mistake, but in the end I have to remember…I’m not perfect. Something you really need to convince yourself is that the number you see on your meter might not always make you happy, but it doesn’t have to ruin your attitude. When I see a high number now, I take a deep breath, come up with a plan of action and follow through with it. Learn from it, but don’t beat yourself up over it.
Hang in there Becky! We try but we can’t always be perfect!
Don’t aim for perfect, aim for “good enough” or “better than I have been doing.” Perfectionism is a recipe for anxiety and unhappiness. I also try to not think in terms of “should” but rather “need to” or “want to.” No one is perfect, seriously NO ONE! I am definitely not perfect either; sometimes I do better than other times. I am committed to checking a lot…8 or so times per day, and I am on the pump, so I can take action if I am too high. I used to be good about exercise, but now I am awful, it is what I am trying to improve next. I am also trying to get myself to actually use my CGM, which I got so tired of during a recent pregnancy. I know I am lucky to have it and feel bad I don;t use it more.
I think that being diagnosed in the teen years is the hardest, and results in anger and rebellion that is a big obstacle to good control. I was an young adult when I was diagnosed, and it was/is still hard. I do get angry sometimes too, but I try to maintain perspective. My college roommate died at 33 from cancer, and whenever I think of her, I realize that at least I am lucky to have a disease I can control.
I agree with what everyone said, deprivation works for few. For me, moderation can be hard too. My resolve to resist certain things is weak, so I I don’t let anyone bring those things into my house. Leftover birthday cake gets thrown out, and I don’t even go down some aisles at the store. I let myself have certain “treats,” like dessert if I am eating out. Limited quantity and not the same as having it at home. Sometimes I overdo it, and each time I swear it will not happen again! Of course it does, but maybe now less than in the past.
I try to see my “slip-ups” not as a failure, which seems like a big, demoralizing event, but rather as a sign I need to make a change and do something different. I make a plan, and try to improve. In baby steps. Each day I aim for good control, today.
Seriously, it is a roller coaster for everyone. Sometimes I feel down about it, burnt out, sick of having to think about diabetes all the time, feel resentful that I have to deal with it at all. But other times I hardly think about it.
Yes, I agree professional therapists can be helpful in this regard, especially if they have experience in this area. Your endo can probably provide a referral.