Those who have followed anything I've posted in the past know my struggles with highs.
I've been on the pump since May of 2011 and a CGM for a few months now.
Since then, my A1Cs have come down almost 3% and overall I've changed. I am being more active and eating considerably lower carb.
With all these positive changes, I've quickly gone back to hypo unaware, which is what caused my years of highs out of fear to begin with.
I've only been waking up or catching the lows last second when the CGM alerts that I'm dropping too fast or hit my low range.
I had the paramedics called for a 41 out of nowhere on Tuesday.
Tonight, I had a mid 300s drop to 80 in a matter of 90 minutes and had to race to the ER because even glucose gel didn't stop the plummet.
The ER doctor was kind. She simply stated the obvious, that my lifestyle choices require me to turn down my basals. I get it. I know it. But I have a massive guilt/fear complex of turning them down because I don't want to return to the high A1Cs.
To complicate matters more, I'm in a fairly new relationship and this week we moved in together. He's not taking it well. He had an angry/blaming reaction Tuesday night. And a "I wasn't prepared for this/scared" reaction tonight. I fear losing him because I'm such a burden as usual in my relationships.
I feel like I'm doing everything I'm supposed to and despite this, feel like a failure and completely defeated.
That's all. Needed to share.