Ok. My endo fussed at me a little on my last appointment.
"Katrina, you have to test more. I can't see any patterns."
Ok, doc, I got you. Will do. Asap.
So, for the past 3 days, I've tested no less than 8 times each day - running through my strips like water. I've written down every bolus and every carb that I've eaten. Except for the soup I had the other day - soup doesn't have enough carbs for me to count, as far as I'm concerned. Right? I mean, it was vegetable...
I go through this, every couple of weeks or month or how ever often my endo fusses at me.
Diabetes does not have me. I can do better with tighter control. Write it all down. Check your bs more often.
I sometimes feel like a drug addict or an alcoholic. I'll go out and "get high" - eat what I want, bolus AFTER I eat and my bs is over 300, not keep to my workout schedule, not count my carbs.
And then something screams - what the HELL are you doing? Do you want your limbs amputated? Want to go through ANOTHER round of laser surgery? Will dialysis fit into your busy calendar later in life? So...I get back on track.
It's refreshing, going days at a time with nothing over 140 on my meter. I smile when I test two hours after a meal and I'm at 112. I feel the energy and accomplishment surging through me, some unexplained powerful victory I have over my malfunctioning pancreas. I am working on running my meter batteries down and depleting my strips in record time.
I plan on staying this time. I've been "sober" for three days now and counting. I just hope and pray that all my "recommits" will keep me healthy and going.