It has been almost 13 years since I sat before my PA and she told me I was type 2 diabetic, and things were going to change in my life. I forget those feelings and have taken control of my diabetes quite well,with her help, a nutritionist, Tudiabetes people, diabetic coach and people who know what this is like.
Last night I received the panic phone call from a friend who just got the same information from her PA. She was (as I did) freaking out. All the "why me's" were coming out, how am I going to take care of me and work at the same time. She had already gone into her boss and told her that she would need 60 minutes for lunch and two 30 minute breaks a day to have a snack and give her self an injection of insulin. Try as I could, I explained that maybe she was going overboard a tich....and we should chat about this....she is the type of person who will hit something gun ho, and then drop out if it gets tough. So here's what I need, for those who are closer to the beginning of taking care of yourself, please give me some wisdom on what was the best tip or advice or knowledge you got at the beginning. From those who have been on this road longer, share what you would have wanted to know or know now.
My friend can't give up on this, her A1C was over 14 and they figure her daily average was well over 200. She is only 52 years old, too young to have to look at the side effects if she gets her act together,. But right now she is scared/terrified and no thinking straight. So any help[ you can offer would be appreciated. Thanks so much!
Did that too.....and the answer was "why" I said, do it! People there are very supportive and they don't know you personally, so you can ask all kinds of questions and no one is going to judge you....still in shock I think!
I am very lucky in that I missed out on shock as I was so relieved to feel better @dx. Then I think I maybe had 4-5 conversations about it with humans...in the next 24 years.
I would be hard for you to see that from your vantage point today. But since you said you freaked out at the news, you might have to allow her to freak out a tad as well, while simultaneously telling her she's overwhelmed and it will get easier. But I think the best thing you can do is be a role model for her. If you spend time together she probably already has seen how well you manage things, but on the other hand as humans we don't pay that much attention if it is not relevant to our own lives. So I would spend time with her and demonstrate the million things you do to manage your own D, and casually point them out.
I was pretty hysterical the first few months after my T2 dx: measuring portions, looking up carb values, testing testing testing. Worrying about lows. All with an eye on the next A1C. Plus dealing with crazy fluctuations in my eyesight. As my numbers got closer to target, I started to calm down. Plus I read Gretchen Becker's extremely sensible book "The First Year: Type 2 Diabetes: An Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed." That book helped educate me, gave me priorities, and much needed perspective.
You are a caring friend!
I'm going looking for the book you recommended, I don't think we can ever know too much about what has a hold of us, and maybe she will read it too. I don't know anyone who hasn't flipped out if even slightly over their diagnosis when they first hear it. After all, the most that average Joe or Joanie knows about diabetes is from about 50 - 60 years ago. Never hurts to know as much as you can about YOU and about "D". Thanks for the tip
A little hysteria is a proper emotion for her, however, she has known for over 12 years that she has diabetes, but never had a doc or anyone else tell her the facts of life about it until now. She is an avoider, and although I love her to death, I am afraid for her now. Biggest problems are how to get strips, in our area that is a toughie. Sure we can buy them at the store but the cost is prohibitive and her insurance won't pay anything on them because it is a pre-existing condition, That part said, the second part of her problem is that she doesn't think she needs to take care of herself because she's had it for 12 years and not done anything and she's still "fine" To her way of thinking Diabetes is a "secret" disease and you don't tell a soul that you have it. I totally believe in showing her by my actions what's going on and how to take care of herself. Thanks for suggesting that, She is not going to start anything unless of course a problem develops....then she will "see" for herself that this is serious,...and at her levels it IS serious, We've had several talks since the first one I wrote about and lots of tears and hand holding, I am sure eventually she will be okay,,,,but she's more stubborn than a three year old who doesn't want to take a nap, Thanks for your support and ideas,
Oh, that's a little different; I didn't understand that she had D for over 12 years and has been in denial. Denial is a hard nut to crack because people are so invested in maintaining it. After awhile they have built the thing up into huge proportions that have little to do with reality. All you can do is listen and continue to demonstrate that the world doesn't come to an abrupt end with a D diagnosis. But she also may be suffering from some emotional issues where she has distorted thinking. I had a friend who suffered from Depression and used all her intelligence to construct negative beliefs about everything. I recognized how little my attempts at "reason" were reaching her. In the end I cringed when I heard her voice on the phone or got an e-mail saying that yet another major catastrophe had happened to her and that nobody understood. I had suggested therapy and she knows I know what I'm talking about. But in the end I had to let our friendship go.
Counseling might be helpful for your friend as well. I hope she comes around to realize that D while a huge PITA can be managed, and life can be lived.
I didn't know that little tidbit of info yesterday when I posted either, makes things look a whole lot different. We have suggested a therp for her, have some great ones here that are highly affordable. AND I am rather like you, when I see her name on my ID, I have steel myself to be ready for the latest crisis. My hope is that once she sees the nutritionist, educator, and sees that it isn't the end of the world, we will be able to attend to those things that need attending to. Thanks again.
Gretchen’s book is an excellent resource. I have read and reread it several times. I freaked out when I was diagnosed, my Dad said " you will be ok,you can even eat ice cream" . Life goes on,you get into a routine. Life is Good! Nancy
