Good afternoon, I am a newbie to this so please ear with me. My 3 year old was diagnosed with Type 1 on Thursday. This has been very overwhelming. I have been reading some of my wife’s counseling books and they say that chats and journals have a therapeutic effect when dealing with life altering events so here it goes.
I can handle a lot. Pain, Emotions, Deployments. There is something different about seeing your child screaming on a hospital bed because she needs to get shots and doesn’t understand why because she feels fine. She says she will stop coughing if I just take her out of there (she had a little cold as well). Then we get told those life changing words “You’re daughter likely has Type 1 diabetes.” I lost it, hard, the kind of emotion you only show God in a prayer closet by yourself in the middle of the woods. The only thing I could think was how can I solve this? I’m an Engineer. I solve problems. Show me the problem. Then it hit me. I cant solve this. I cant take it away from her. I have never been more helpless in my life. Pure, True, Utter, Helplessness. Every time I prick her finger a piece of my soul detaches.
Every ay things take on a new meaning. I cant leave her at her preschool, with our favorite babysitter, take her to her favorite Chinese buffet. My daughter, my world, has been forever changed. I’m thankful that the staff at CHKD showed us how to take care of her, but right now we are surviving by a fingernail. Shots, corrections, carb counting, arguments about whether that was a full 1/3 of a cup.
My life summed up in one word Restless.