Braden was just dignosed in January and is really having a hard time dealing with diabetes at school. He hates when he has to check his sugar in front of his classmates and he gets very bothered by all the questions kids ask about what he's doing and why he gets to have a snack and they don't. My son Adam was not like this he was diagnosed almost 5 yrs. ago and does great with all the questions and doesn't seemed bothered by it. He is very much having a hard time dealing with his diabetes he hates checking his sugar, and getting shots. Does anyone have any suggestions on ways I can help Braden deal with this? It would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Can I ask how old Braden is? I've had the same experience with my two T1D kids. My first one didn't mind the inquiries from other kids but my other daughter is currently in Kindergarten and becomes very bothered by the attention that her diabetes brings from other kids. She dislikes the attention and the feelings of being "different". For her, we picked age appropriate books on diabetes and sat down with her class at the beginning of the year and again half way through the year and discussed her diabetes with the class and read a couple of little stories about diabetes then they watched her do a BG check and were allowed to ask questions. That process seemed to help the kids adjust to the diabetes aspect of my daughter but she still becomes upset whenever anyone watches her get checked. I try to be as discreet and mindful about her feelings as I can. She is also more verbal than my other T1D daughter about hating diabetes. She really is outspoken about how much she resents it.
Hi Jamie, i can absolutely relate to this one!!! jacob was diag at 10 and very self conscious, his close friends knew in middle school but it was not general knowledge, so social situations where he may need to deal with his D stressed him out, even now he struggles a bit with this. clearly it is personality related, noting the differences betw. your two boys. having a presentation in his class my not the best move for your shrinking violet. it would of not gone over well at all with my son at that age!! your son is only 9 but diabetes factors in so much to his life i think letting him have a say in alot will help him. so let him decide how to proceed. for us i tried very hard to keep jacob's bs stable at school so he really only needed to test and go to the nurse at lunch. frequently he went without snack to avoid being different this worked for him but may not for your son depending on how he runs. that being said the "private" approach really led to alot of suffering for him, now at 14 he staarted a new high school and all his new close friends know and he tests in the lunch room and boluses there. this is such a hard time for both of you, i guess the one suggestion i can make it to continue to respect his input, do not be overly strict about his diet and reward him for making good decisions over and over it is hard for kids to grasp the idea of not struggling against that which we can not change but eventually he will get there, hopefully his older brother can be a good role model. keep pouring on the love, acknowledge all his accomplishment, compliance with his D but most importantly all the other daily things he does that are great and hopefully he will settle in. hang in there this is tough on him but also so tough on you, so glad you found your way to tu, it has helped me so much as those not affected by D have no idea what we and our children go through day after day. the trick is to make it seem manageable to braden, recognize all his feelings related to his struggle but also make him feel protected and supported, you have his back, always did always will. many blessings, amy
I was going to suggest what belina did. Caleb has experienced this more so with sports. We have typically gone into his classroom each year to explain things, so the curious eyes are circumvented. But we haven't always done this with sports teams at first. After it's explained, it all seems to go away - the questions that is, and the kids start to support Caleb. This year Caleb did the presentation at school on his own. I realize if he's uncomfortable to begin with, this can be a hard thing to do. But in Caleb's case, it really does make all the difference. Nobody pays any attention to him anymore - which is a good thing!
hi jamie, well since the other children are asking questions that is probably a good thing that they are curious, and empathetic and not teasing and judging. an explanation would be good, maybe he could do a quick poster board presentation just the basics and have the teacher introduce and say something like you all have been asking alot of questions about bradens diabetes, he would like to answer any questions but after that we should respect bradens privacy he is ok and does a good job taking care of himself but as always all eyes and ears should be on me when we are in class and learning something like that, ( if he really doesnt want to which is totally fine his teacher could do this, this may actually be better if he is really opposed to it, it is alot to ask of a shy kid, the teacher could present a mini diabetes lesson like part of the day that maybe you could help her put together??) that being said having him be out about things with be a huge benefit to him going foward. please share jacobs experience if you wish explaining that jacob to was very self conscious about his D but hiding it really led to more anxiety over his D, most kids are just curious and actually care rather than judge and now that he is more open jacobs burden is lighter and he is really enjoying school and his new like minded kind friends, best of luck! amy
of course hearing real experiences of what other kids have gone threw and how they dealt with it is powerful for them, and knowing they may not personally know too many other children with diabetes, but they are not alone. interesting there where two boys in jacobs grade that went to the nurse tested and did insulin together for years but they never talked about it, not in the same group, so boys... girls share more!! that was middle school now in high school no others that he has met up with but he is more comfortable in his skin. please let us know how it goes! amy
I think Caleb is closer to the point of Adam now. He doesn't feel the need to talk to his team this year, but he has new coaches and he's glad I sent them a message to let them know. I think there's something to knowing the people around you aren't coming up with their own ideas about why you are doing what you are doing! :)
My daughter is the same. She freaks out when I tell her new teachers she is a Type 1 and need to go check her sugar or take her shots or snack when she gets Hypo. Kids say all kind of things to her like I gave her too much junkfood or sweets and sometimes they get real mean and wont sit on a seat she sat on or touch something she did cos they think its contagious. It really is very sad and her self esteem took a knock. I told her it is only because people are uneducated about Diabetes and she should explain to them how the pancreas works and how it affects her sugar. She doesnt want to and I really dont know what else to do to help her with this.
how old is Lexi, it sounds like her classmates are pretty ignorant and cruel. maybe if lexi doesnt want to educate them, her teacher would since this type of behavior is really unacceptable! I think it is more than ignorance about diabetes, we need to start teaching reading, writing, and compassion and manners at school! clearly not everyone is getting this at home. I hope your daughter can keep her chin up through this and has some friends at school that understand and like her for the beautiful girl that she is.
She just turned 13 and her emotions are all over the place. Ive enrolled her in photograpy classes to help her boost her self esteem as she really thinks diabetes makes her ugly. But yes she has what we call "diabetic buddy" at school who checks on her and always has a sweet thing for her incase she feels hypo. You are so right, kids are so cruel sometimes and I even had to go to school once cos a teacher would not allow her to sip on her water in class when she had really dry mouth and headaches, and told her she should stop putting it on cos she doesnt look sick. I was so angry but luckily sorted that problem out.
you are so right belina, they must own it, once they do it becomes less big in their minds, they can work their best to control it not let it control them, since being more open about his D at school with new friends jacob has had less of an emotional burden from his D, yes it is still there he is 14 with the hormone issues but better. lexi, your daughter is soooo beautiful, diabetes will never take that away, someday she may even see it makes her stronger, those with easy lives can be pretty shallow and the first to throw stones. keep working on building her confidence, lots of complements all around for her nonD accomplishments and for handling her D well. the photography class is a good idea, it will be all hers, chances are she is and will be alot more mature than her classmates because of her struggles, so high school might be tough, having outside interests is a good idea. we are all here for you, because we understand and have been there. many blessings, amy
Wow thank u, we are so new at this and still have so much to learn. But now we found a place where we can share our concerns and ask advice and sooo glad we joined :-)
seriously, at tu is the only place i feel truly understood, this is such a great place for support and information, we all walk the same path here i am glad you joined also!
Thanx Jacob's mom!
My son is so young, I haven't attempted any of these presentations, but when I am with him (on a field trip, say) and the kids see me using Eric's pump, they always watch and I can see questions in their eyes. Usually, I will "narrate" what I'm doing — "OK, Eric, let's just see how much sugar you have in your blood right now... oooh, 78, I think maybe you need to eat something." or "225, whoa, we have to bring that down... I'll program a little insulin in for you right now." I try to ask him, too, how he feels — "are you tired? dizzy? headache?" — so they get the idea that there's a medical reason for it. And then, of course, if any of them ask questions, I answer. Loud enough for the ones too timid to ask to hear. The goal is to demystify what's going on so they don't feel insecure enough about his "difference" to pick on him. Because, as maybe your daughter doesn't yet realize, the ones who pick or sneer are the ones who are most fearful of things that are different.
I agree with that Elizabeth, people in general fear whet they dont know. And even the kids that understand what diabetes is, stand up for her which again leads to jealousy becuase the mean kids say she only wants attention and its her way of making friends by letting them feel sorry for her. Today she had a cupcake at school that a friend brought for her b day and when remarks were made about her putting it on cos shes then eating sugar, she took out her shot and told them she has the power to control. I was so proud of her, cos her brother (she's one of twins) told me, it just shut everyone up. Good for her!
oh good for her! to bad especially girls are so interested in what others do and dont do, oh the drama! glad she stuck up for herself, once people see her in action it should demystify things, imagine ...yup she asked for diabetes so she could have extra attention! keep encouraging her to be herself real friends will stand by her others she should just disregard they do not deserve a friend like her! hope she continues to own her D and move on with her life, we know it can not be ignored but it should not dominate or diminish the quality of their lives, best wishes, amy