Hello one and all and no one!
Since the "Turning Point" blog my T1D management is up by 50%. Why 50%? Why not 100%? Well... Every time I get it at 100% I tend to burn out really easily. I've read this so many times on the site and from friends that it pretty much branded itself to my brain.
Before going back to Thailand in August I went through a health and fitness rage. And with that came obsessive diabetes control. I had printed out enormous amounts of paper that would help me track my insulin levels and find out why I had such increased BG's after breakfast and why I had hypo's here and there, etc etc. There is no doubt in my mind that it worked. It worked almost too well. But at what cost? The cost of my mental health. And the cost of my future. I say future because well it is all fine and dandy to have flawless control, that [for me at least] often leads to a few months of absolutely no control. Which leads me to the stupid and possibly obvious question - Is it better to go at your diabetes 100% at the risk of you burning out for a long or short period of time. Or is it safer to go at it 50%, avoid the burnout and possibly have some continuity in your control? I know there are so many different levels of control, but some "percentages" work better for others. My 50% for instance is letting go of printing out management papers unless I really need them and not getting too overworked by BGL fluctuations. Because for me, it certainly always results in me almost completely forgetting I ever had the disease. Those periods are so beautiful but so hauntingly dangerous. I don't want to go through that stage again, so I am going to SLOW DOWN!. Take it a day at a time.
All that's left to do is begin my exercise regime whilst avoiding hypo's along the way. Oh and not eat high calorie hypo food so that I won't counter act my diet. Oh and remember to change my canula frequently. And maybe test 6-10 times a day. Also remember what carbohydrates are in what foods. And then there's trying to keep a routine while you have so many other influences threatening to break it. Then there's ensuring you have enough supplies to get you through the month and not forgetting to take them with you everywhere and anywhere you go. You can also occasionally be judged by people who know nothing about your disease and go through a spiral of depression and anxiety. AND still manage to control the pressures of everyday life that diabetes free people take for granted.
Wow, having diabetes is so EASY!
Uggghhhhhhh....
Leena.x