You could have become the interesting guy with cool goals and plans who has…you fill in the blank, any number of scary situations…so many worse things. There are things you can do to help yourself. Lots of peeps don’t have that option. It sucks, but it’s doable. To put it in perspective, there are how many of us here? 15,000? We all struggle at times but our lives are going on just fine. You’ll grieve and then, hopefully, get on with it.
Hey Jeff
Welcome to our hideous little club, so sorry you joined us! Your sense of humor, btw, is a great asset and you have an excellent handle on the issues. You articulate your feelings very well and that and $1 will get you on the bus…oh right, buses are $2 these days! You stated a great goal of going from being a " diabetic" to a person who, among other things, has diabetes. Oddly enough, right now, obsession on the " diabetic" part will get you to a point where it will be as under control as it ever gets and will start to fade into the background of another routine in your life. Meanwhile, make a point of enjoying all those other things (the wonderful ones anyway) you are. I also, as someone with 16 years recovery from an eating disorder, have worked hard on making my diet not be about what I can’t have as what I can. We often have discussions on here about all the foods people miss, and asking each other if they ever " indulge" or " cheat". I just don’t think of it that way. Aside from being way too old to think of myself as " good" or " naughty" I find that way of looking at it non-productive. For dinner tonight I’m having homemade Thai curry with about 100 different flavors, lots of kick and not much carbs. I consider taking the time to cook something that good very indulgent. It is far more exciting tasting imho than a bowl of ice cream from a cardboard box, let alone a pile of #$% from a fast food place.
Hang in there, it will get better!
i love eating to… that’s why i can’t cut the carbs. My new motto, which i have used before, is going to be
"Eat to live, don’t live to eat"
I just bought the Diabetes for Dummies book. There is a lot there. I have been introduced to some of it in my diabetes classes.
I spent yesterday throwing out and giving away all the yummie bad stuff in my fridge and cupboards. Gone. I was good, I didn’t nibble. Not because I have great discipline, or great commitment, but because I was angry at the food. Every time I look at the remains of that dutch apple pie, the frosted coffee cake, that premium root beer, the Vernors ginger ale, and the Nekko wafers, I feel like the food betrayed me. I know it sounds nutty, but it can almost seem like the food all conspired against me and beguiled me into killing my self with high fructose corn syrup.
I was thinking I should go and vounteer somewhere, the pet shelter or the VoA or something. You know, every day or every other day for an hour or so, where I can be in service to others. Just so that I am doing more that is NOT about me. Get me away from being the center of my own macabre little adventure with needles and lancets and pills and charts and instructions and all of it.
We gotta make Hideous Little Club membership cards!!
Go, JeffD! You are doing awesome. It takes some people years to realize that helping others is an absolutely fantastic way to make good things happen when life has hit a road bump.
Okay, maybe with diabetes, life is years of poorly paved roads–but that’s no excuse for avoiding road trips and joy riding and we’ll still get where we want to go.
I think all the diabetes education classes and books and hand-outs are really missing something. Humor, especially ranting, sarcastic humor does wonders for diabetes. And when I can’t muster up humor, I reach for this bracelet.
Needles and meds and food choices and physical activity take up a lot of my time, but over the years they’ve started to take up less time in my thoughts. Which means I have more time for the other stuff. And, maybe, I actually appreciate the other stuff just a little bit more than someone who hasn’t been exposed to all the character-building that diabetes ensures.
I see that so far in this thread no one has mentioned the big secret: People with diabetes are smarter, more resilient, more courageous, more kind, and certainly more good looking than the average population 
Jeff,
You are on the right road, clearing the junk food out of the house, getting your hands on diabetes books, taking control. Consider yourself lucky to have received a diagnosis and treatment before a diabetes related complication took your sight, destroyed your kidneys, damaged your feet, or did irreparable harm to your heart.
You will figure all of this out and when you do, you will find that you can do the things that you want to do, be the person you want to be. You might be a PWD as many people on this site refer to themselves, but you’ll be a PWD who is in control.
Cheryl
I second that!
I remember being where you are when I was diagnosed in 1996 with type 1 at the age of 28. I still get pissed off and angry about it. I went through 2 years of therapy to deal with it all, and I guarantee I went through the stages of grief, which I found interesting. My therapist said it was grief over the loss of my health. I think she was right.
Do what you need to do for you. Work through the emotions and don’t feel bad or guilty for feeling that way. You need to take care of yourself, so if it is losing weight, do what you can. Please don’t go into denial, a friend’s husband has been in denial for 9 years now over his diabetes and he’s had open heart surgery and significant complications and he’s only 41.
There are so many awesome people on this site who can help you, so please utlize them to the fullest extent!
Good luck. You are not alone, although I’m sure you feel that way.
PWD? Oh, Person With …
Duh. I have a lot to learn.
One week down. Hope things are looking up for you Jeff and that you are starting to make sense of all this.
Cheryl
The numbers are looking good - my blood sugar measurements are in and around 150 to 180 with occational bad readings of 220 and occational great readings below 120. I have lost a couple three pounds in the last two weeks.
But I have to say, it takes ALL my effort. I think and worry about this stuff all the time. I eat and sleep diabetes. I bore my friends with the difference between a carb and a protein. I have sticky tags and notes all over my Diabetes for Dummies book. I can still concentrate at work, but I never get away from the panic that I should be looking something up or asking a question or checking my blood or renewing a perscription ahead of time or calculating my blood sugar average or checking the bottom of my feet in my new floor mirror or … …Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Every time I think I might be getting burned out, I get scared that I will screw it up, and “something will happen” and I jump in again.
I don’t (yet) know how to take it all in stride. I’ll get there, and we will all be able to chuckle at what I was like when I was a newbie, but first I have to get through being that newbie that I will laugh at later.
HUG
When I was first diagnosed, I feel into a depression for months. It was about my mortality. Suddenly, my own death faced me squarly and I thought that most of my life was over. But you know that is not true. Instead, here I sit some years later, still a diabetic, but I don’t have those same feeling, am generally happy about my life and in some ways I am better than I was. It can all be so overwhelming at the beginning. You need to keep things in context. I was not able to get my fasting numbers below 140 mg/dl for 6 months. I was not able to get my blood sugar readings on target for 9 months and only after learning that the diet I was taught did not work. You sir are mere days into your journey and have made more progress than I did in months of work.
So give yourself a pat on the back, tell yourself it will be ok and just settle down. Your progress will be made a step at a time.
Give yourself credit for the things you accomplished. Managing D means changing your life. Thats a hell of a thing to do. No matter how each of takes it when we are dx’d, we are all effected one way or the other. It long road were on so just keep going in a good direction.
You will do it. You are taking great steps already!