Someone in the chat suggested I write here, so I am. Two weeks ago, I found out I have high blood sugar. My numbers have been high for a while probably. How I feel about my diabetes is I hate it with a passion. I hate sticking myself to test. I hate what I eat. I hate having to walk every day. I have no idea how I’m going to live with this for the rest of my life. I am very angry and depressed. I feel I have nothing to look forward to now that my enjoyment of food is gone. I wish I had never gone to the doctor so I would still be in the dark about it.
Welcome to TuDiabetes.
Your feelings are completely normal. This isn’t a club anyone is banging on the door begging to be admitted. I was diagnosed 4 years ago, after falling into a coma. I felt like my body betrayed me, and I had nothing to look forward to.
I enjoy cooking, and the thought of never being able to just eat something without analyzing it depressed me too. It will get better.
It is a good thing you did go to the doctor, you dodged a bullet. This disease can do some pretty terrible things if it isn’t recognized and treated.
I hated sticking myself in the beginning too, now it is just second nature. I don’t love diabetes, but I can’t run away from it. I am grateful that if I had to have this, the meters are smaller as are the lancets and it isn’t painful. Years ago, the meters were huge, and the lancets were like mini-crowbars. I try to find the positive things, and focus on that, it isn’t easy, but it helps. Medications are so much better than even 20 years ago.
If you hate walking, what about yoga, pilates, Zumba or bicycling? Try to find something you like and would eventually look forward to doing.
If you can, see a certified diabetes educator and get some ideas on how to manage this.
There are ways of modifying the foods you like so you can have them. No food is really completely off-limit. There are lots of diabetes friendly recipes on here and on other sites as well.
I am sure that someone with more experience than me will have more words of wisdom and encouragement.
You are not alone. Everybody feels the same way when they are first diagnosed. It gets better as time goes on and it just becomes a normal everyday thing you deal with. Do a lot of research and reading about it and you can minimize to some degree the effect it has on your daily routine.
Go to class if you have one.
We always had sandwiches and salad after.
I think the Panera supplied sandwiches were there to prove you can still eat stuff because during those months my A1C went down.
I recall being in a real funk when I was told I “really” was diabetic after years of no, probably not, prediabetic maybe. (This was before HgA1c tests pretty much removed doctor’s guesstimates on “real” diabetes!).
This is a good place for support, suggestions, and venting frustrations–somebody’s going to know exactly what you’re talking about!
One hint for you–see a certified diabetes educator if you can, and take your spouse/friend with you. Four ears are better than two when a lot of new information is flying around! Good luck!
HI,you are just getting used to this new life. I go to the Y and swim,water aerobics. Love it. I also garden,mow my lawn,or play with my young grandchildren. All are exercise. I garden and love to cook. I am a foodie! Experimenting with recipes is fun. I make chocolate chip cookies,once in a while with Splenda. I freeze them ,taking one or two out as a snack. Chocolate: fudgicles,ice cream,pudding, just figure your carbs so you know what your serving is. Custard is a good choice. Or having a nice piece off pork with rosemary from my garden. Dill on fish. So we needed to adjust the cook book,but it is wonderful.Nancy
Thanks for the replies. It’s nice to know I’m not alone with this disease. I think after a while it will just be something I learn to deal with.
Exactly. It won’t ever go away, but it will become part of “normal”, like brushing your teeth. I’m not trivializing the seriousness of it in any way; just making the point that it will cease to be a crushing burden and become just part of life.
Been dealing with this for more than 20 years, and have seen some horror stories! Believe me, the rest of your life depends on how you deal with it. (They do not call me Sweet Pee for nothing!
Depressed feelings are normal and anger in many cases is a mask for the fear that comes with devastating news.
I was like you, I wished I had never known but that is not a reasonable wish.
I feel your pain about food but consider this, there are still wonderful delicious foods that are available to you, it doesn’t all have to be rabbit food. You will find great recipes here at TuDiabetes and there are web sites dedicated to eating well with diabetes. Your diet doesn’t have to be less enjoyable, just different.
I’ll bet everyone with diabetes has felt this way at any given time. I have had Type 1 for 44 years. I still hate my diabetes. But this motivates me to beat this disease. Facing one day at a time it is entirely possible. Try to look at it in smaller parts, a meal at a time, a week at a time or 3 mos at a time from A1C to A1C. It’s way to overwhelming to look at diabetes with all its rules and worries in its entirety. You can do a piece at a time until you have built up a treasure trove of good diabetes practices. The person who advised you to talk to a chat room gave you good advice. You are in a supportive and caring place, among persons who have felt just like you. Please do not give up. Sometime in the future you will be the one chatting with a depressed newbie giving sound advice. You are needed for that.
Also, to add to this, you feel really awful with high blood sugar, and the emotions make it worse. When your numbers come down you will feel less hopeless and the more you learn and understand, I promise you will feel more confident on being able to cope with it all. Right now you are still overwhelmed I bet… so give it some time.
I too, am new to all of this. I have been borderline for years and was able to keep it at that. However after a’ botched ’ surgery last summer and two repair surgeries and ten months of sitting in my recliner, it finally caught up with me. I was told Monday I was definitely diabetic and tried some oral meds. Due to some issues causing bad side effects, I’ll be switching to insulin shots on Tuesday. I’m really nervous about it. I watched my dad struggle for years with it, really ’ bottoming out’ several times. In fact, we really felt that was what caused a fatal accident that he was in. I know I’m to the point where it’s no longer a choice. I’m just very anxious about it.
Stay aware of how you feel now, including energy level and emotional brightness, and once you start on insulin. Many report feeling a positive effect immediately.
You are right to be wary of insulin; it is our most powerful tool and it deserves respect. Used well, it can change your life for the better. You will need to learn a few things about insulin, like your insulin to carb ratio (for mealtimes) and insulin sensitivity factor (for high corrections). Knowledge makes a key difference in how we do with insulin. Take any course or training offered. Start looking at at good instructional book like Think Like a Pancreas by Scheiner.
Do you know if your docs intend to start you on long-acting insulin first before adding short-acting for meals? In any case, consider this your time to bone up on everything you can learn about insulin. It may seem complicated at first but it is not rocket science. Take your time learning a little each day. Some things need a few days to finally sink into your brain, so pace yourself but spend some time every day learning.
I highly recommend that you start a log and record your food, insulin, exercise, and blood glucose tests. Have you received a glucose meter yet? Follow your numbers closely and it will pay you great dividends. That means you need to test more in the beginning while you’re learning insulin’s effects.
Your meter will also inform you how to eat. If you make a practice of testing before and after every meal, then you will learn what foods are OK, what foods to minimize, and perhaps what foods to consider dropping. “Eating to your meter” is a highly successful tactic that has stood the test of time. Watch your meter and it will guide you toward good decisions. The numbers don’t lie.
And don’t be thinking that this time in your life is all about taking away some of your favorite foods. If you’re honest with yourself you will be able to learn many new favorite foods. Many of us limit the number of carbohydrates we eat. Meats, fish, cheese, heavy cream, nuts, a hearty array of vegetables, and berries are part of what we like to eat. Everyone is different in food preferences but I guarantee you that you can discover a satisfying way of eating that will satiate and leave you with good glucose numbers, too.
Thank you for the reply. I appreciate all the info and encouragement I can get. They are starting me on the long acting insulin. I’ve heard that they eventually split that to two doses , morning and night. I need to probably get a new meter. I have a reli on and have used it occasionally being borderline. I know that will all change. Any suggestions on a good reputable brand? I took a diabetes training course but it’s been about a year. I’m planning to refresh myself on the info. Thanks for the suggestion of the book. I will definitely look for it. I have a good friend who has dealt with this the last few years, and she assured me it’s basically a trial and error period of getting to know how body will react to different things . She also suggested logging everything at first and looking for 'patterns '. I’m so glad to have found this site. Thanks again for the reply and the encouragement. Judy
I like One Touch Ultra Meter
Yes, I like the One Touch Ultra 2 meter. It doesn’t have a lot of extras, but it’s accurate.
on fire feel same way. had byc. accident and had to have blood work for surgery . blood work came back at 6.6
just over the line now am officially a diabetic can’t retire early because of now higher insurance rates. but it’s a
fact was getting dizzy after eating sweets and drinking soda pop and feet were staring to bother me. was dx
may 2 . hate it my self but not knowing about the disease doesn’t mean it is not hurting you. but know what you
mean you are not alone in thinking like that found some interesting video’s about stem cells treatment’s so
there’s some hope but I agree this disease is torment.
I am new to insulin and deathly afraid, in denial, angry, upset with myself and overly emotional! I feel as if my world has ended but at the end of the day (in my case) I have brought this upon myself and I must now deal with it… I don’t think that there is anything one can say to make it any easier but just know that someone out there feels your pain… Good Luck!
MrsNoobie not your fault most people can eat and do what they want and never get this. some say what we
do was a part in getting it but it’s in the genes to come out.