The diabulimia is kicking my butt…Ed is kicking my butt. I haven’t taken any insulin since last night and I am definetely feeling it, although my weight is staying steady which makes me happy. I was gaining like crazy since I was taking my insulin and eating whatever I felt like. Now I have to pay for it.
I wish I could stop more than anything, but I can’t. Ed has such control over me and my diabetes. I thought I was getting a handle on all of this, but I’m not. I feel like I’m falling deeper into the diabetes “I can’t handle this”. Right now I don’t care if I end up in DKA, I just want to keep the weight off.
yes you’ll be the best looking person on the coma ward
WTF? you take your insulin and you feel better and feel more in control or you don’t take your insulin feel like crap physically and emotionally and may end up in the hospital but you loose a couple pounds (which you’re going to loose in the springtime anyway when you start training for real for the TDC)
Take your insulin and get control of your life. when you you get a better control of your life you can loose the extra weight easier. YOU CAN DO THIS. take your insulin and focus on how much better your life is when YOU are in control not the big D or diabulimia
I struggle with that too…but, it’s not worth it. Really…you know that already…I know it’s hard to stop. What helped me were having to pay my hospital bills…I JUST now got done paying them off from being in DKA. And by the way, I couldn’t breathe…not fun. That too kinda put my diabulimia i check. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in DKA, but, it’s scary. You’re worth more than what you look like.
If you don’t take your insulin you die. It doesn’t get any starker than that. Taking your insulin in a non-negotiable. When you take your insulin you DON’T get to eat whatever you want. You still should keep to a certain amount of carbs a day. Insulin isn’t the kind of thing where you can abuse it like that. Insulin allows you a certain amount of flexibility, but you do have to bear in mind that it’s a case of “moderation in all things.”
I’m not a big proponent of scaring folks with diabetes, but if you continue to fudge your insulin, your eyes are going to start to bleed and your feet are going to hurt. If you feel good on insulin, stay on it. You really need to talk to someone who can help you with this. You’re ideation about all of this is unhealthy and bass ackwards. You don’t care if you end up in DKA just so you can keep the weight off? This stuff catches up with you. At some point YOU have to be the one to tell yourself that you need to take your insulin. YOU have to be the one to tell yourself ‘no.’ Think about how your actions will make you feel later.
Keeping the weight off isn’t a priority until you get yourself under control. You can lose weight while on insulin if you follow a healthy eating plan. I was pretty overweight when I started to bring myself into very tight control. I got myself in hand and figured out appropriate serving size. You need to see your psych regularly and you need to draw the line in the sand. It begins and ends with you. You can do this. You can replace those bad feelings with good feelings by doing what you need to do to keep yourself in good heatlh. Do you really want to face the very real possibility of going blind and blowing out your kidneys? DKA can kill you. But, hey, at least you’ll be thin.
Diabulimia is a serious issue. You need help. Please seek professional help with this issue. We care about you here. We want you happy and healthy. Please tell someone what you’re dealing with and get help.
