I am amazed at the emotions that have come out of my body in the past 24 hours. I really, truely feel like there are great people out there who are going through the same things I go through. It’s amazing. I guess I’ve been a little bit of a diabetes-snob…thinking only about myself and the whole, poor me thing.
I cried about having diabetes for the first time last night probably since I was diagnosed. It’s been supressed for so long. So long. I am tearing up know just knowing that I can acknowledge these feelings and not feel selfish about it. I’ve created the don’t ask and don’t tell mantra for myself. But it feels like such a weight was lifted yesterday. Too hard to explain and all I can do is say THANKS!
I am making a commitment to myself this new year to truely accept and manage my life with diabetes. I’m not going to look at it as the scarlet letter “D”. I am going to try to get honest with myself and everyone else no matter how embarassing it may be to disclose my inner-secrets of poor diet/lifestyle. I now know that I am not the only one.
With that, I am going to stop being so negative and start posting more about my everyday life. Until tomorrow… Goodnight!
PS. I have only tested once today, I am ashamed. Again, ate too much junk…lucky charms, auntie annie’s cinnamon pretzel sticks, somewhat unhealthy dinner of beef sandwich and fries, 2 beers and 3 100 grand bars (at least they were mini sized). Oh yeah, and some peppermint ice cream.
PPS. I know it seems crazy to type out my meals and vices, but acknowledging them may help me change my ways. It’s like I need to humiliate myself for some odd reason. And incase you are wondering…YES I"M IN COUNSELING!!! LOL