I am amazed at the emotions that have come out of my body in the past 24 hours. I really, truely feel like there are great people out there who are going through the same things I go through. It’s amazing. I guess I’ve been a little bit of a diabetes-snob…thinking only about myself and the whole, poor me thing.
I cried about having diabetes for the first time last night probably since I was diagnosed. It’s been supressed for so long. So long. I am tearing up know just knowing that I can acknowledge these feelings and not feel selfish about it. I’ve created the don’t ask and don’t tell mantra for myself. But it feels like such a weight was lifted yesterday. Too hard to explain and all I can do is say THANKS!
I am making a commitment to myself this new year to truely accept and manage my life with diabetes. I’m not going to look at it as the scarlet letter “D”. I am going to try to get honest with myself and everyone else no matter how embarassing it may be to disclose my inner-secrets of poor diet/lifestyle. I now know that I am not the only one.
With that, I am going to stop being so negative and start posting more about my everyday life. Until tomorrow… Goodnight!
PS. I have only tested once today, I am ashamed. Again, ate too much junk…lucky charms, auntie annie’s cinnamon pretzel sticks, somewhat unhealthy dinner of beef sandwich and fries, 2 beers and 3 100 grand bars (at least they were mini sized). Oh yeah, and some peppermint ice cream.
PPS. I know it seems crazy to type out my meals and vices, but acknowledging them may help me change my ways. It’s like I need to humiliate myself for some odd reason. And incase you are wondering…YES I"M IN COUNSELING!!! LOL
WOW! that is a high carb junk day…enough said. I have Faith in you. I know you can do better.
If you embrace it and acknowledge it…it’ll be a lot easier to live with. WE are glad to have you in our community. I love your blogs. Keep blogging, you never know who your helping.
Stay Motivated, Stay determined and You can control your Diabetes.
Once you let it out of your system,you have to come to the usual outcome: action!!
There is a danger here because sometimes bring it out,make us releived to go on with our old routine.I am glad you joined.This community has a powerful hold on me.
I struggle with healthy eating too. My husband is a feeder and brings home things because I like them. Never mind that I don’t need to be eating them. Next time a box of lucky charms enters my house it is to be ripped open and discarded in the trash can out back immediately. Last time he brought home peppermint ice cream, I ate about 4 cups all at once. Just couldn’t stop. That would have been 8 servings, and at least 160 carbs if I did the math right and that means 16 units of insulin for me. And a hell of a bloodsugar spike. I started going to overeaters anonymous. Hoping that will help. I have identified those as some of my trigger foods. Anyway, I understand your struggles with choosing healthy foods. I just crave those carbs. I’m about 10 yrs older than you, type 1 for 38 years and in incredibly good shape considering how difficult it has been for me to maintain bg levels. One way I release anger is to write words or draw pictures on aluminum cans with a magic marker and then smash the daylights out of them.
I wish you well. I’m here if you want to compare notes.
Hey Julie! It is all about your state of mind, and admitting it and looking at it will help! With me, it was getting my pump and using the bolus wizard where I had to actually input the number of carbs–WHEW, what an eye opener. Before, I would just delude myself!
So happy to read you’re enjoying this site and taking those first steps!
Julie-- I am SO glad that you found us! You are not alone
sending you big hugs…I feel the same way…I’ve always read diabetes blogs, added dlifers on myspace etc but this year for some reason was very emotional for me and I wanted to find a way to really get in the game more…I’m always learning but it is time to start sharing more I think from every angle…weight, managing sugars, balancing family…the older I get the more I know I can’t “wing” things as much as I used to…
I’ve started journaling alot too…my friend recommended a book to me not too long ago but it has been a real eye opener for me called “shrink yourself” not until I read that book did I realize that I really AM an emotional/stressful eater…baby steps=giant leaps…I’m in this for the long haul haha