I was not created to be able to successfully cope with this awful world as it is right now. It might help if my health allowed me to engage through the volunteer activities I had envisioned for retirement—that kind of service engagement can make a big difference…Not to be, apparently…
So I am in retreat. For months, I haven’t been out of the house except to walk my garden. Getting around is too hard and exhausting…The world pummels me and I can’t even physically assume fetal position, so I assume it emotionally…Sigh…
I’m joining hands with @CatLady06 , and asking members of the community to join us - let’s gather around @Judith_in_Portland, always the voice of love in our family - we are stronger together and love will always be stronger than anything awful out there.
Count me in, joining others in the TuD community to wish you well, Judith.
Actually, I do very much understand. We don’t have a big garden to walk in, but we have many turning trees at the moment–a restful place to sit outdoors. Consider reading books that interest you–there is a lot of cat fiction that is amusing. Do you have a Kindle? Take care, my friend.
I think I understand and I hope tomorrow will be better. Hang in there and enjoy your garden, your cats and all the blessings you can count!
I wish I could have you over for some tea and a nice sit in my garden. The leaves have just begun turning yellow and the apples are ripe! I’d love to hear your stories of being a dancer.
I’m fairly new here but have so enjoyed your seasoned voice. You’ve made me feel less alone and somehow more connected on this bumpy ride. Thank you for reaching out and giving voice to the lonely. Speaking it out loud (or reading it from another) gives me hope to press on. Grateful for your voice,
Oh my Dear Judith, how much I understand your feelings. You, I and others of our generation know what it is to live in a kinder world, a world our parents fought hard to provide.
We were allowed to express ourselves in our craft and our art. Our world is being threatened by an increasingly harsh world and by the ravages of time.
I have concern for the future, it is threatened as I have never seen, I have no crystal ball but I do know that it will not be saved by those that create division and strife but rather by those with a kind heart like you.
Thank you, Dearhearts…And then we lost another kitty. Down to 3 now…So much loss, from my sister to Kathy to Doufus, another close friend here,…But that would be easier if the world wasn’t so crazy. I try to minimize, in particular, the horrible election circus. The orange man scares the bejesus out of me. Sorry to bring in the political, but that is part of this…
And I hurt all the time and the eczema attack fades only slowly. Chronic pain and constant itching are not fully appreciated for all the ways in which they compromise your quality of life…
I shall maintain my garden walks and try not to give up. Plodding…One step at a time. Sometimes it is the best one can do…Blessings and thank you…
Oh dear! Lots of love is going out to you from my heart and soul. I don’t have much advice, just know that you are not alone, you are needed here, and, quite frankly, life can just totally suck sometimes.
I’m so sorry your body and our crazy electoral season are conspiring to bring this cloud to your life right now. Sending much love your way, hoping the sun in your soul will bring you some brightness and warmth soon.
Unlimited hugs, Judith. You are a voice of reason and love in the community; I don’t think you know how much your voice matters or how many people take comfort from your just being here. I certainly do. You have a lot of people here wishing good things for you; what you see in this thread is only the tiny tip of a big iceberg. Be well. We need you.
Judith, I don’t know you but I’m intimately familiar with the situation you describe. Illness often traps me in my house feeling depressed and even angry at times, but not energetic enough to do anything about it. Being online with others helps so much. I also have beautiful gardens that I walk with my cats. Mindful meditation is relaxing and leaves me feeling grateful for what I do have, which can otherwise be hard at times! Hang in there!
Judith! I have not been active here for a long while. What is going on with you? You were always so insightful and strong. I hate to hear you suffering.
Saw my beloved Doc in PDX on Friday—on an emergency basis. We worked our way slowly and methodically through the possible causes of the random nausea/vomiting and agreed that it is probably an extended period of grief/anxiety, given that it all started after my sister died a yecchy death of cancer, followed by my beloved TuD friend, also beloved here in our shared TuD space, in MN committing suicide when I had just seen her two weeks before. Plus two 16-year-old kitties we had grown from kitten hood dying. Kinda too much loss too fast…
So I have a number for a grief counsellor. A marvelous such person helped me a lot after mom died, so I will pursue that…the main difficulty is that I possess many, many confidences from my intimate relationship with my sister—secrets that talk about how shamed and diminished she felt at times by her partner of 30 years and yes, her daughter…Paula and I had major blow-ups as kids long before the visit to MN over years. We were simply Always open and trusted with each others’ observations even when we were pissed—most importantly when we were disgusted with each other…These secrets are a difficult burden to bear—hence, the counselling could help!..
The severity of the eczema attack we pretty much agree is due to the sudden stop of my endless hot flashes. Hormones can mess with all bodily functions----skin to organs!)…
I have an inhaler for the COPD and she wants me to use it–I’ll suck it up soon–it just kinda creeps me out…
Not much to do about the fibromyalgia issues and the arthritis that worsens in joints…including by now, my hips starting to go…Plus my Dumb Left foot is still DUMB!.. We did …adjust my oxy dosage–just added a 5 mg pill which I would like to be secret because I have been violently attacked right here for even using the opiate–mostly adjusted timing as opposed to dosage which is still just 20/mg per/day…Sigh…
So day-to-day, I seem to be okay, but all movement is difficult…
Oh—the single upside—my A1c dropped from 5.4 to 5.1…No doubt all that simple broth I drink when the random vomiting happens…Sigh…I just get so tired sometimes of having to think about it all. Old Age does suck in many ways Blessings to you all and thank you for always Being there for me…Love…Judith in Portland…
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