Trying to get back on track

This has been such a difficult year for me. So many things have happened. Some have been good, but the majority not so good. I never expected the sudden death of my Mother to be as hard as it has been. We never had a great relationship, but we did spend hours and hours on the phone and I really miss that. She never came to grips with my having Type 1 Diabetes, but I did accept that. For some strange reason that was one of the easier aspects of our relationship to just accept. She was never a support when it came to my Diabetes. My Father who I love dearly has the false idea that since I am on the Insulin Pump and now CGMS that my diabetes is perfect…it is just easier at his age to let him believe it is. My Corgi Llyr has been diagnosed with Degenerative Myelopathy. The disease is very similar to ALS in humans. It causes progressive paraparesis and eventually it will attack his respiratory system. First they lose use of their back legs (which is the stage Llyr is in now) then their front and lastly their respiratory system. Llyr is now in a cart with wheels in the back which enables him to walk. Luckily he took to it straight away and loves it. He is back to running and terrorizing the bunnies and cats in the neighborhood. If anyone want to see a video of him there is one on You Tube. Just put Corgi Llyr in the search field. The owner inventor of the K-9 Cart took the video. But the good news is that he is very happy in his cart and we are taking one day at a time! With all the different stresses in my life (which I have never been to good at handling) lately I have been on a fairly bad roller coaster and we all know how that makes one feel. Lousy! Of course this roller coaster is partly my fault because I have not been that “perfect” diabetic lately. I am trying not to beat myself up about it to much, but hard not to at times. Especially when I know I could be handling things better.Strangely this is probably why I have avoided TU lately. I say strange because you all are probably the best support system I have. I have gained all the weight and then some (12 lbs.) that I needed to. Even though I will admit I would rather not have gained so much and I did not do it by eating all good food. Yup…bread and to much of it :slight_smile: Oh, okay…and some chocolate along the way since I seem to be admitting my sins. Does anybody else here ever “fall of the wagon” as I call it? And how do you get back on with out beating yourself up for not being the “perfect” diabetic? Well, I will stop babbling and move on to getting back on track some how and hopefully soon.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and it will get better in time. I am on the same roller coaster ride that you are on, so believe me, I totally get it! We could be twins! Take care and just be as good as you can be and don’t beat yourself up any more than necessary, lol.

Thanks Kimmy I really appreciate the support. I am having one of those high blood sugar days. I changed my insert 4 hours ago and they are just not coming down. Drives me nuts. Soon time for a shot and another insert change if they do not come down :frowning:

Don’t under rate stress and how it affects your life. It has many side affects and they can totally affect your bs. Besides that a death is a serious stresser and I hope your are able to talk to someone to help you through it. Just take one day at a time, and if it’s really bad go minute to minute, hour by hour. The point is, each day is new so treat it as an oppertunity and a learning experience. Don’t dwell on the bad stuff but do learn from it. Keep posting no matter your mood but as it’s been said before we’ve all been there and accept it. Take care of yourself because no one else will is my motto in life. Well that and I trust in the Lord…tomorrow is another day.

Thanks Lisa. yes, stress has always thrown my blood sugars out of wack big time. Even more than not so good food choices. I am lucky that I see a Therapist that is very well educated in Diabetes. She has been a great help, but as you say death is a big stresser.i do take it day by day, but lately just harder than usual. I do agree with you 100% on the take care of yourself because no one else will. I just wish that I was better at all this after all these years. Always a work in progress!

Fall of the wagon? UMMMMM YES! I will never be a perfect diabetic, this I know. I will try and try and also try not to beat myself up…sometimes I can do that very well. Just stay strong. I, at least know I can always find strength to start over and carry on. You will too my dear sweet Amy. Love you.

Thanks for your support Robin. I really appreciate it. It is good to know that I am not alone in this struggle. My morning sugars were a bit high today, but not as high as recently. And hey, it is Monday…a good day to start a new. Trash day in the neighborhood too…so time to dump the junk from the cabinets and fridge :slight_smile: Love you back!