Hi there! I am Ann and I am 39 yrs old. Please, please reach out to us and do not let diabetes get the best of you!!! It is an every day battle but please’ vent here and do not give up!!! Your life is so precious! I REALLY feel your pain, frustrations, ups and downs, confusion, depression, anger, rage etc, etc,etc… Every day tasks that other people take for granted it is really hard for us and the truth is: nothing stops because we do not
feel well. I have a four years old boy and it is challenging for me too keep my health in optimal conditions so he does not have to go through the shocking experience of finding mommy unresponsive at any given moment. My husband and my family have a watch program where they call me through the day and they expect me to call them back at different times to tell them how I am doing. It is not easy having this condition. I have being a diabetic for 25 five years. Full blown juvenile diabetes type 1 diagnosed at 14 years old with not known family member with the disease. Tell me about all those emotions plus adolescence and all the rebelliousness that comes with being that age. Needless to say, I did not wanted to accept my diabetes, not following the doctors’ orders and putting my family through hell due to my chosen path of self-destruction for many years. It did not help either that under my type 1 juvenile diabetes I was also diagnosed with being “A Brittle Diabetic”. I was already having a hard time understanding diabetes so when the pediatric endocrinologist expert in this kind of diabetes explained to me and my family: “I just said: heck what the heck is there to do for me if no matter how much we do and follow directions anything and everything causes my BG to go out of control”…
For many years I keep on that road to destruction even using keto-acidosis and bulimia as a way to keep a fashion model kind of weigh. That was awful, nights of constant going to pee or vomit because of the keto and then going on with my life the very next day at school and when I was in college. Again, I chose a path to self destruction. I really put my parents and siblings through a lot. The worst case of Keto-acidosis (one of many) I was in my early 20’s started on keto-acidosis for 2 days; didn’t treated so when my parents took me to the hospital my BG was 900 with 3+ ketenes and that night the doctors told my parents I had only 5% chance to survive the night and if I made it, it would have been a miracle… And it was; I think God had better plans for me!!! I spent 1 week in the intensive care unit and 2 months in the hospital. At that time for the team of doctor to discharge me; I had to have 3 consecutive BG readings within normal range. Well, you would think me been in the hospital under strict diet and care that would be something pretty easy to achieve: wrong for five days every day around the clock they kept trying to get those 3 “normal readings” without success. So being over 21 yrs old, I singed off the hospital papers and told the doctors I had to go back to life away from that controlled environment where they could not regulate my Bg’s. I could not stay there for the rest of my life. Yes, I went back to the same rebellious attitude of being angry and depressed and most of the time spending too much time feeling sorry about myself and my life. Due to the way I chose to live my life my left kidney filtration so we need to keep a close eye on it ( I take medicine for that) and any other unpleasant things as well.
I am glad I did not get my way and alive still; God really wanted me to keep on living! Finally at 32 I stop fighting and got married. My husband helped me to walk the path I have never walked before: to take it a day at a time, just a day at a time. I re-learned all the things I never wanted to follow to be a healthier me. It has not been easy and 5 yrs ago when I had to get and insulin pump due to my pregnancy I was really reluctant to have “that ting” connected to me!!! How would I wear dresses, bathing suits etc…? You know; all those vanity things that we think about and rank at the top of our priorities before our own health. I forgot to mention: at the time I had to inject myself 6 times a day prior and test 14 times a day during my pregnancy. So I got the pump, still testing 14 times a day, 3+ laser surgeries due to the stress the baby put on me I developed retinopathy, lots of difficulties up to bed rest and by the end I developed preeclampsia. It was ALL WORTH IT, I HAD A BEAUTIFUL NON DIABETIC BABY BOY!!! In my case I learned the best lesson of all: I WANTED TO LIVE, THERE IS NO WAY I AM GOING TO MISS ON THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFFE!!! WHERE I WAS BEFORE, WHERE I HAVE PUT MYSELF THROUGH WAS HELL ON EARTH AND IF I SURVIVED THAT THIS WAS GOING TO BE A PIECE OF CAKE, SORT OF…
7 years have passed and I am not going to lie to you, everyday for me is a struggle. For example list night; my bg was 105 so I had a light activia yogurt with some almonds and a 8 oz cup of decaf coffee with splenda and non dairy creamer about 9 pm by 10:30pm my bg 306 and of course I have to bolus for that knowing that I woukd crash in the morning but it needed to be done. Yeap, you guess it: my hubby as always test my Bg first thing in the morning when I am acting different or too sleepy so my bg at 7am this morning was 31. Yes and deal with that 4 or 5 times a day every single day. No matter how well controlled I am, no matter how calm and rested I am this spikes and lows happen and are part of my life. I get 300 test strips every month cause a test 10 times a day. I do have the CGN from Medtronic but my blood sugars fluctuates some much within an hour that it seems the CGM can not handle it. Medtronic technical people asked me to not test or calibrate so often, not doing tat won me trip to the emergency room. When I talked to Medtronic again they kind of admit that maybe the CGM can not keep up with my constant rapid changing BGs so I test 10 times a day and still have a good control of an H1AC of 6.3 on my last endocrinologist appointment which was 2 weeks ago. Now that I am finishing this I have to tell you my latest two BG’s: at 9am before eating breakfast my Bg was 130(ate just 1 cup of regular cheerios and 6 oz of 1%milk) but as always keep doing stuff cleaning the kitchen etc and 40 min later after breakfast remembered I did not bolus for the breakfast and decaf coffee so I based my bolus on the amount of carbs taken and did not check the Bg just went ahead and bolus. Well while writing this, you guess right; have started to smell fruity so when that happens it means HIGH BG so I tested my Bg and it is 428, saliva very thick and the need to pee. I just bolus the necessary amount of insulin and I will check within and hour so that most likely my Bg is going to gone down only 20 points so this is going to be a slow process until I am back to a normal range. For those who are reading this and are saying well that is why there is a CGM for, I wish I could use but it has not worked for me trust me I say I wish I could use it!
Well, I hope you have a wonderful day and hope all of us here could be your stone/anchor when you need it and vice versa!!!
Ann =D
So nice to know you’re not alone.