Hi PBLady, have you thought about getting a second opinion on the surgery? Have you discussed the surgery option with the doc who manages your diabetes treatment or your cardiologist? I would want to make sure all members of my medical team were on the same page with the surgery.
I too have a grapefruit size fibroid and have for many years. I was about your age when they discovered the fibroid. I am 51 and pre-menopausal. Started with hot flashes and lots of other nasty hormonal symptoms about a year and a half ago. The crazy hormones have made controlling my D a roller coaster ride that I wish I could get off of.
Neither my gyno nor my endo want me to have a hysterectomy nor do they want me to go on hormone replacement therapy because their hope is that I can ride it out until I get through to menopause. My gyno even said that other doctors might have had me on the operating table a long time ago but he feels I will be better off if I don't have the surgery. He said he might feel differently if I were much younger.
If you do go forward with the surgery, is it an option to push it back until you can prepare by taking steps to get better control of your diabetes? Preparing by eating right, testing often, making treatment changes with your doc, and walking every day would help you to be at your best going into the surgery.