So I’m new to this site- but I thought I would start off with something that has been bugging me for a little while. I have this friend that told me that I make her uncomfortable when I talk about my diabetes or when I make jokes or make fun of myself because of it. I don’t know how to respond to her about it. I mean its a HUGE part of my life, and part of my way to deal with it is by making jokes. Have any of you guys out there ever had the same kind of experience-- or have any advise on how to deal with this??
i have the same thing, whenever i talk about it my friends tell me to like, shut up, or they’re like “whatever jill its no big deal” and i’m like haha yeah its easy for you to say. Some day’s i’m bitchier than others because of my blood sugars and its hard for people to accept that, so i totally know where you’re coming from. luckily unlike my friends my boyfriend understands and will go to the end of the earth to be healthy, he supports my decision to get the pump and jokes with me about being his cool “robot” girl haha. You really need humor with this disease, and if people don’t understand that you need to explain that it will be with you forever - it’s comforting when you have someone to talk about it with opposed to bottling it up inside 
Such a good topic, Christina! Some friends can’t feel good when they know their friend is having a huge challenge in life. Friends respond different ways according to their own ability to deal with problems/challenges. You have to be able to talk about your experiences with friends - in fact, some problems can be talked THROUGH with friends. If this person is made uncomfortable by it, she may have a larger-than-she-needs-feeling-of-responsibility factor in her emotional self. Back off in discussions/jokes/self-deprecation with her. Let her see over time that you are handling your diabetes well, and she will possibly be able to handle the “friend” status.
Meanwhile you can be talking about diabetes with OTHER friends. Make some more friends and get a group around you who become knowledgeable, good sounding boards, and ones who will stick with you through the good and more challenging times.
I would talk to her privately, and ask her what specifically is making her uncomfortable, why, and see if she’s willing to say what it is she’s experiencing - fear, anger, maybe she doesn’t know how to support you so she doesn’t want the topic to come up. Could be lots of things, but if she’s a good friend and you want to maintain the relationship, a nice heart-to-heart might get to the root, and then maybe she’ll start to feel more at ease about it.
Depends on if you want to keep the relationship–if not it doesn’t matter-if so (and I assume so or you wouldn’task),ask her what makes her uncomfortable…see if you guys can brainstorm a way to give you both what you need
Our family joke is I am borg—pump and sensor…and it helps them and me–
also all of my close family (and some of my better co-workers) know how the pump/sensors work and why/how they are important (and how many carbs are in a snickers bar and how much insulin it takes to cover it–and that 1 snickers bar is half of my normal daily carb allowance)
I never had a chance to talk about illness or disease growing up, and so it scared me. Maybe that is your friend’s experience.
When my MIL had cancer, I was so scared/sad that I never said anything. Seemed heartless, but I just needed to cry in private, and hadn’t done so yet. I was uncomfortable talking to her about it. Maybe your friend is afraid of bad news. =)
I have had a friend not able to handle my new moodiness. That was sad, and took me several years to get over it. I have also had a co-worker warn me that my medicine should be more private. That stung too. Some people have a hard time with illness and may worry. =)
My problem is that most people do not really know how sick you can feel when you are having what I call a “Diabetic Day”, you know those days when you are tired, BS jumping all over the place? I am lucky ina way because I work in the medical field, so there really isn’t much I can do or say that my co-workers have not delt with. Diabetes IS a part of who we are. Good luck to you. I am pretty new to this site, and have found it so far to be interesting to hear what others have experienced.
Hi Christina!
Do you have any type 1 friends. I have an extra special appreciation for my T1 friends because we share such a bond, such a special understanding of each other. You can say anything and they understand. I just met a T1 friend through this site. We had lunch together last week!
She might be uncomfortable because she doesn’t know how to respond (not that you expect a response). She expects you to hide part of who you are. She expects you to walk on eggshells when you are with her. Is it worth the effort? I don’t spend as much time with my high-maintenance friends. It takes most of the energy I have to take care of myself. Actually, I have a pretty good “Who cares what anyone else thinks” attitude.
My family jokes about me being BORG too. My kid struts around bragging about her pancreas. She calls me pancreatically challenged. It helps to have a sense of humor with all of this.
Take care-
Dena
I wish I had some type 1 friends close to me. The only one that I really have is in the town I used to live in thats about 3 hours away. I talk to her pretty often but still its not the same. Thats kinda what Im hoping for here. Thanks for the input. And your daughter sounds funny ; ) Take care too!
lol I like the borg thing. One of my friends always jokes that Ill be the only human left alive when the robots take over because they will be confused, and just leave me alone. I’ll have to tell him about the borg joke!
I only had one person at work who didnt like me testing my bgl. Don’t think she liked that click sound lol she got over it…!