Unsupportive friends?

Has anyone found that their friends just dont understand what it is to live with diabetes? Do they think you’re being unnecessarily obsessive about your diet? Does anyone feel that they have to ‘tuck away’ the fact that they have diabetes so as to not come across as tedious?

yep all the time. it’s a real pain to be good when everyone is eating whatever they want. even after all this time my family does not always get it.

Yes, I am finding this to be the case at work. It’s really hard sometimes to get through the day, especially if I’m having one of those “roller coaster” days. I don’t like taking sick days because that makes me feel, well, sick, and I don’t really feel sick. But I don’t share with my coworkers that I even have diabetes. I think there are like two people here who know the truth and the rest I’ve just basically lied to. I don’t know why, I think it’s mainly because of the erroneous assumptions people have about the disease (I’m type 1, but how many people really know the difference?). I also don’t want people pitying me or thinking that I can’t do my job. Or always worrying that I’m going low. And because it’s a tedious disease, I don’t want people knowing that I spend about half my day taking insulin, checking my sugar, adjusting my insulin accordingly, grabbing a snack, worrying that I’m now too high…you get the idea. Yeah, it’s just really hard to accurately explain diabetes to people who don’t know what the condition is about. It’s not just about taking insulin and going about your day. If ONLY it was that easy!!

I need to adopt your attitude. Right now, I’m doing MDI, but may look into the pump (I have mixed feelings about it). I think my problem is the reaction I received from some friends when I was diagnosed (the typical, “But you’re not fat!” and “But I’ve never seen you eat unhealthy. How could you have diabetes?”) I have explained to these individuals the difference between type 1 and type 2, but I don’t always know if it sinks in. It’s very frustrating.

Giving shots in front of other people is still something I’m not entirely comfortable with. I just go off to the bathroom. But that can be a huge inconvenience, which is the primary reason I’m interested in getting the pump. I think I just need to get a bit more comfortable explaining the situation, as you clearly are. Thanks :slight_smile:

Sometimes. my friends are actually better than my family! my family is clueless. Sometimes I keep my D from people I don’t know, first off I feel like it is none of their business, second i don’t like to talk about it all day every day. every time you tell someone new you have to explain the whole darn thing.

No, I don’t, and I can say exactly why: I don’t make a big deal about having diabetes. I don’t make a production out of testing, or injecting (if on MDI) or doing anything else I need to do… because there is no reason to.

I don’t feel the need to tuck it away (and I definitely don’t), but there’s zero need to make a production out of what you “can’t” eat - I have seen diabetics do this, and quite honestly it frustrates me because it’s just not necessary. Everyone is free to make their own dietary choices for whatever reason they might have - I don’t necessarily need the over sharing. Just pick something (or don’t) and don’t go on about it.

On the flip side I would never in a million years expect someone who doesn’t have this disease or isn’t closely involved with it to fully “get it” either… so it might be more of a question of expectations.

Ummm, I think I actually have the opposite problem. My problem is when too many people that care want to police my diabetes. I think this put me in a much, much harder position than the diabetes itself. Why? Because when that friend, co-workier, or whomever, doesn’t know really about the life of diabetes, yet feel they are helping you with what they “think” a diabetic would need. This can be so stressful to me, because sometimes you are forced to be rude to that very person who really cares about you. Diabetics are often forced to be rude to stop the annoyances, and hurt some feelings in the process.

However, I still believe it’s important not to be in the closet with our diabetes. I’ve made a choice not to hide in a bathroom, closet, hallway, stairwell, alleyway, street corner, boondocks, under a car, phone booth, under a fire-hydrant, behind my sofa, behind a bush, a forest, or even inside a sea @ the beach, or whatever, just so that people don’t see me inject. This is freak’n ridiculous!! I’m not a mutant! I am a human being that happens to have diabetes. I am perfectly capable of handling my D life myself, in my OWN WAY!!! If I need help I’ll ask for it!!!


Just curious, why are you concerned about wearing a pump as a bridesmaid?

Yes… I have one friend that has high blood pressure and takes his pill every morning and before I was on Metformin kept telling me to just “take your pill” and your done…

He just doesn’t get it :frowning:

I wouldnt say my friends are unsupportive but they are not as interested either. If and when I tell them anything they kind of give me the “im listening” look but you can tell they are not. I dont know if it is because they do not know how to deal or they just dont want to. I was friends with them before the diabetes and it changes who you are in so many ways I feel sometimes they are just trying to hold on to the old me in a way…

My mom’s side of the family on the other hand are so not supportive at all. They down play or over exaggerate my diabetes all the time, which ever fits their situation to hate. They are always trying to get me to eat something like cake and when I dont they point out how they just dont understand how I do it. I moved in with my sister a while ago and she buys cheetos, my fav bad snack, she knows I try not to eat them and she doesnt eat them so what do think is going on with that??? I have to explain the basics to them over and over and over because they act like they didnt know things like carbs are bad for me. Its exhausting being related to people.

I’m finding out that I have to do that with my family more often than with my friends. But it looks like a lot of us have to go through that same problem. Frankly, I’ve considered going as far as just staying away from them as much as possible to make things easie, but I know that doesn’t solve the problem.

It’s true many people don’t ‘get it’ but I don’t consider it my job to make them ‘get it.’ I haven’t really had a problem with people pushing food on me, but here in California there as so many dietary fads that people don’t really question your food choices.

People trying to stop you from eating something or questioning the wisdom of your choice are a bigger problem. I explain that I’m an adult, I know what I can eat, my diet is controlled and matches my medication and that’s it. If they do it again, I feel free to bite their heads off.

As far as coming across as tedious, I don’t bring attention to my diabetes. I don’t mention it unless someone asks or unless I"m fundraising. Nobody notices my pump. I calculate carbs silently, I don’t comment on the amount of carbs in food items or explain why I do eat this and not that, or announce that I’m going to test my blood or that I have to bolus and in general I don’t take anyone along with me on my diabetes ride.

In short, few people will ever ‘get it’ so don’t count on it, and tucking your diabetes away is only one way to deal with not being ‘tedious.’ The other way is to forget about what other people think.

Maybe they don’t want to know… One thing i’ve learned very early on in my life; for most African American people Change is hhhhhhhhaaaaaaaarrrrrrrddddddddd. The way I see it, you represent what THEY should already be doing (in terms of they’re own health). The denial we get from friends and family can be such a b***c to deal with… :frowning:


I’m fortunate to have supportive friends. Whether they get it or not, I couldn’t really say. But, they’re understanding about asking where I can eat when going out & run menus by me when going to their house for dinner. Really thoughtful. I had one T1 friend before being diagnosed. I knew when he was low & that was about all I knew. I saw him test & inject, but not what he dealt with since he was a young child.

Unless someone says something ignorant about diabetes that needs correcting, I don’t really talk about it. It’s a boring subject to outsiders. I’ve never had anyone ask me “what’s it like?”. Glad to give them the load down if this ever happens.

I don’t hide being diabetic. I’ll test & inject anywhere & honestly don’t care if I get a weird look.

My sister is particularly clueless & willfully so. She’s deeply hurt my feelings. She doesn’t want to hear anything negative, believes everything is mind over matter & rolls her eyes when I don’t feel well.

Yeah years ago I went to the public toilets and ended up dropping my needle on the floor without a spare … a nice tasty meal had to be ignored due to this so since then haven’t done. I also don’t like dirty toilets and I think people need to change their attitudes towards people with diabetes. It’s a bit like breastfeeding or anything different … people just look and go “oh no don’t do that infront of me” and don’t seem to consider the other persons feelings. After nearly 20 years I don’t go to toilets anymore definitely not and always just inject and / or tell them to look away.

All the time! I think that if you dont have it you will never really understand it and what all we have to deal with and go through. Heck even for us it is hard to understand. I guess that it is a little easier for me because my dads whole family has it so I have people to talk to and that can be there for me. A big thing for me is that everyone thinks if your having your sugars going up and down that it is always what you put in to your mouth. they dont understand that although that is a big part of it everything that you do or that happens to you that day is a factor into it. Well thats how I feel at least,