My previous post shared the stress I have been experiencing that my mom has cancer somewhere in her abdomen. It turns out that it is stage 4 colon cancer and she has a short amount of time left with us and the chemo is the only thing buying her that time.
We went to Denver to visit family shortly after finding this out and it was very bittersweet knowing that it may be the last time they all see each other. With that thought in mind I would not change the fact that we went and got out there to give them that opportunity to see her before she got too sick.
She started Chemo and has it every other week, they thought she would not lose her hair however it is now completely gone. While it was supposed to be using a port to inject the medicine there are some complications with it and she is not on her normal schedule for the Chemo and it is making her much sicker than anticipated even by the most optimistic doctors.
While all this has been devastating news and completely impossible to deal with there are a few bright shining moments. She got to meet her grand nephew Calvin (named after her uncle who was one of the MOST important people in her life) who is also the 10th child of my cousin. She's gotten to see them grow and evolve into the beautiful children that they are and seen the happiness they have brought to my cousin and many other family members. She gets to travel to our lake cabin this week to see her sister since all this has happened who has been one of her greatest sources of strength.
A few other things about this cabin. My father left her for another woman after almost 30 years of marriage... a woman who he worked with and she was actually friends with at the time of the divorce. That same summer that she was getting divorced her only daughter was diagnosed with diabetes and her mother was dying of lung cancer. Being a nurse her mother wanted no one else but her to care for her and because she didn't have a job she was able to do that for her mother as hard as it was. All of this almost broke her into a million pieces but through the love of her children and the cabin she was able to make it through. Her father built the cabin by hand when she was young child and before that it had been part of a resort that her uncle had owned and she had been to every summer of her life. She then got to share that joy with friends and family for decades. Because her father had built it and my father did a lot of work at the cabin and they were in many memories. Without erasing her father's memory she was able to make the place completely her own.
My challenge now is very similar to hers she had many years ago about who to be there without someone who is truly the essence of the cabin. I know I will be able to do it but for now... its hard and I don't feel like I need to be ashamed to say that... She will be greatly missed but her spirit will live on through this wonderful piece of family history and true place of untainted beauty.
