Today marks the 6th anniversary of my diagnosis of diabetes. (I know that in comparison to many of our members, I’m still a newbie. Still…) For some unknown reason, I really like to mark my D-anniversary in some way, but I never quite know how such a day should be marked. So I figured I would at least write a blog post reflecting on my six years with diabetes.
Somehow on my D-anniversary, I always think most about my diagnosis, but I already wrote about that here. So instead, I decided to spend some time today thinking about the every day life with diabetes. I can tell you one thing, it is filled with ups and downs.
UP: They started giving me insulin after my diagnosis. That felt really great. I felt alive again for the first time in months.
DOWN: I got home from the hospital and for the first time I had to calculate my insulin units on my own. I looked at the needle filled with insulin and became terrified. I thought that if I miscalculated I could kill myself. I knew if I didn’t take it, I would die. All of a sudden I both loved and hated this clear fluid that is my life line. For the next months, I felt some degree of fear at each injection.
UP: I had an emotional breakdown the day after getting home from the hospital, which involved me screaming “I NEED TO KNOW THAT I CAN LIVE A NORMAL LIFE. I NEED SOMEONE TO CALL ME AND TELL ME THAT I CAN LIVE, TRAVEL, AND DREAM WITH TYPE 1 DIABETES.” The next morning the phone rang. At the other end was the voice of a woman that has type 1 diabetes. She told me that I can live a normal life. She told me what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it.
DOWN: I stopped caring and I lost motivation in the stress of college.
UP: I had three pre-med roommates who thought that living with someone with type 1 diabetes was a cool experiment. We learned a lot together.
DOWN: I lost motivation and decided that I didn’t care.
UP: I had people who cared about me enough to tell me that it mattered to them that I took care of myself. They told me that if my child had type 1 diabetes, I would take better care of the child than I do of myself. They were right.
DOWN: I lost motivation and decided that I didn’t care.
UP: I found my partner for life, who is also my partner in diabetes. He learned quickly and became a type 3 diabetic.
DOWN: I lost motivation and decided that I didn’t care.
UP: I found TuDiabetes and knew that I was not alone.
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I find it very easy to lose motivation in diabetes management. But somehow, eventually, someone was always there for me to help me find it again. For that I am so grateful! So, in all the ups and downs of diabetes, I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone. Neither are you!
