I did a 180 flip with regards to my diabetes-related fears.
In the beginning, I had no test strips (other than useless urine test tapes), no decent insulins, and no carb counting (1978). So…WHEN did I get my first low, you might ask? Well, it was the FIRST day of taking insulin, while at work, far from food. I had NO IDEA what was going on with my sudden weakness. I went up to the dispatchers office (at a dealership) to call my doctor. Got someone on the phone, told them how I felt, and they practically yelled at me to “GET SOMETHING TO EAT NOW!”. I don’t remember the details of where or what I found to eat. That was the day my fear of hypos began and it was UNRELENTING until I started pumping in 1996. Not even using meters, which occurred in 1992, kept me from panicking when I’d drop fast. I was truly sure I’d die in my sleep from a hypo. For context, I would frequently drop at an insane rate of 100 mg/dl in less than 10 minutes. If you want to get your heart tripping, try a fast drop like that!
Fast-forward to around the time I got my pump which caused me to do lots of reading about pumping technique and generalized diabetes management. Couple the technology, the added knowledge, and better insulin and my fear of hypos soon reduced to a minor annoyance. My biggest thing now is, as has always been since diagnosed, a fear of being to high and damaging my body. I’ve already gotten PN and I don’t want any more complications.