Who Eles Gets This?

Ok everyone here knows I take care of my ageing grandmother right? Well I've been telling her for quite awhile now that I can't drink her tea? Why you ask? B/C she HAS to put sugar in it. By the way the only other 2 things to drink in her house is whole milk and water! She dosen't belive in colas of ANYKIND. She will go to a store and we all know that sugar is sugar right? Not her she just has to buy Domon's sugar the other kind it takes twice as much to do the job. WHAT????? HUH????? Am I alone thinking this way or is anyone else out there thinking sugar is sugar. I will go buy Splenda for her to keep for me and my daughter but DON'T put it in the tea. She goes ahead and puts sugar in it then gets all flustered when I won't drink it. HUH?? What am I missing here??? PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME!!!

Oh and please don't say she don't know anything about diabetes. I've been a Type 1 for 37 of my 47 years. My oldest is a Type 1 and my grandfather was a Type 2. WHAT AM I MISSING HERE???

Hmmm…hard habit to break?

Just HAD to vent to someone today. My husband heard it for 50 miles when we came back. I try to bring a diet coke w.me but today as hot as it was there (she refuses to run the ac) I needed something to cool off and I really don’t like water!!! LOL!

I have learned over time that it is always a good idea to discretely bring something you can eat and drink and leave it in the car (even with friends and family). The only one you know who can take care of that responsibility is YOU.

See David I have done that and had a drink today when we started out but it went rather fast when she got the house HOT and finally turned on the AC after much fussing from me! LOL!

Aww poor you Doris. Your Grandmother doesn’t seem to care too much about Diabetes. She kind of reminds me of my Mom. She really didn’t know much about Diabetes while we were growing up or anytime along the line and hasn’t forgotten the seizures that terrified her when my Brothers and I went too low when we were young. So she has plenty of sweets in the house and offers them freely.

It’s up to me to tell her that I can only have a half of that piece of pie or no I seriously cannot eat that carby piece of chocolate cake and only a bit of that scrumptious pasta dish, etc. She thinks Insulin fixes all. I prefer to keep my doses as low as I can.

Thank goodness that we both like our coffees and teas without sugar plus I like water. :slight_smile: Sometimes I just squirt a bit of lemon juice(from the plastic lemon) or plus Stevia sometimes. Or I buy low carb cranberry/raspbery juice and mix it with 1/2 glass of water to flavour. I agree with David. I put my foot down and do what I need to for my Better health. I know I disappoint her often when I don’t eat enough of her YUM food but TOUGH. Good Luck Doris! Take a Stand Hon! :slight_smile:

Evedendly it does me NO GOOD AT ALL to say no and I can’t drink that or eat this b/c she gets all upset when I try that! You have to know this REALLY stubborn woman! We go back again today and you better bet I will put some diet colas in my purse and just take it with me again this time!

Doris, what you aren’t getting, I’m thinking is that Grandma loves you, she’s set in her ways and most likely isn’t going to change. Is there a way that you can prepare your own tea BEFORE she gets to the sugar part? Is there a way that you can prepare your daughter’s tea before she gets to the sugar part? I have no grandparents, I have no parents alive any longer, do you understand what some of us would give to share a cup of tea with grandma or mom sugar or no sugar. Yes, taking care of grandma is a tough job, and I give you 100% credit for doing a very hard job., so as Mark said, please don’t sweat the small stuff. Buy a special kind of tea for your daughter and you, and tell grandma, that you would like to make her tea today, then add your splenda…and appreciate the idea that you have her here to share it with her. Take a deep breath, and think of all the memories you will have to share when she is gone…and that day may come sooner that you think. This is a sweet memory you are making.

Mark and Cathy I know it’s the small stuff but you can get it up to there.
@ Cathy Nope can’t get there to make my own tea and God forbit I try it (done and have for both me and my daughter and My daughter has tried it for herself) I know she loves me but if you will read what Wendy said you will see where I’m at right now. I’m an only child and only grandchild. I lost my mom 7 years ago and am soon (real soon) going to lose my dad! Just the pressure of it all got to me yesterday
@ Wendy Thank you for understanding where I stand.

It’s okay my aunt told me splenda has carbs in it…oh geez, that’s when you just nod your head and smile and do what you know I’d right for you

Doris, I have lost both of my parents, also, to lung cancer…and losing a parent(s) sucks! BIG TIME. I do truly understand your situation with the tea. It’s not easy to be the “only”…I was the “only and oldest” girl in the family.
In the end you have to do what is right for you and your daughter’s health. Leave the tea, don’t drink it. And at a time when things are centered around the table with the tea, explain to grandma one more time, that there are things that you can’t or won’t have, sugar in any form is one of them. But you enjoy your time with her and don’t want to argue about it. Then leave it, and don’t speak of it again. If she makes you anything with sugar in it, leave it alone…eventually even stubborn women like her and I get it. I’m glad you came here to vent and to get some support…and I am here to listen and comment if you want. I hope that things get better with her and that you can work something out.

Hi, I know how stubborn and insistent grandmothers can be. Mine was like that (mum’s mum). She’d fill us to overfull and then keep pressing us to eat and drink, never taking no for an answer, and that was before I had diabetes (T2). We’d walk out of there fully bloated, but always loved. Nothing was going to change her ways. When she was taken from us I do miss her dearly. Anyway, you’re not missing anything. You know your limits and you know her behaviour and this isn’t about to change. All you can do is to politely and consistently stick to them. She’ll keep on trying though, because she loves you and she thinks tea with sugar tastes nice so she wants to share nice things with you. What’s nice for her anyway.

She boils her sugar with the tea! I know it’s an old Southern custom to do so but that’s how I can NEVER get tea without sugar in it from her! LOL!

Dear friend. These are the memories that will be with you for your life. Make the pleasant memories with her while you can. Just smile. I know it is frustrating. I had that with my gramma repeating the same things over and over again in her later years but at least I had her. I don’t have her any longer. Bring you own beverages and just say “no thanks” with a smile.

I can imagine how frustrating it is…holey moley!! How old is your grandma?? There’s NO POINT in explaining it to her…forget it…it WONT work. If the tea is brewed with sugar already in (though boiling tea is an odd thing to do, some older folks follow that custom), there’s no getting away from it. Simply bring your own beverage, for you and your daughter…and bring her a special treat, so as not to offend her. My grandma, and my husband’s mother (both of the same era) were the same in mind set, but on different issues. My grandmaman…long gone, used to insist that we eat something when we visited her as a child. We were all 5 of us kids, prone to motion sickness. So when we arrived to my grandmother’s village from the city I lived in, the last thing we wanted was food…but n-o-o-o…"ah, you look so skinny, are you hungry/ Here have a sandwich/cookie/cake…then when you threw up on the floor, she’d wonder why, even though my mom would have warned her (every time!!) that we were car sick. Anyway…you get the big picture!!! But she loved us dearly and would have done anything for us…she meant well, but wore blinders and…was S-T-U-B-B-O-R-N to no end!!!
Luv ya Doris! So, what treat are you taking to your grandma’s next time you visit?? :wink:

She’s 85 and defantly set in her ways! LOL! I’m taking my diet coke with me nomatter what! If you want anything to eat there it WILL BE Vegatables (frozen or otherwise!) Just got back from there Ate my potato chips on the way! LOL!

Sigh…all in the name of love !!!

Thanks very much. I am the mother of a very special diabetic I 13 yr old girl Nikki (in the pic)!! Good to be aboard!

Thanks so much for the welcome!

Thank you for the welcome note.