I have no good answer for you. But it sounds like burnout. Or laziness. Or a combination of the two. I’m going through some laziness-related burnout at the moment and trying to get myself out of it too. For me, it comes in cycles. I will be really good for a few months and then, WHAM! I just get so overwhelmed and burned out that I don’t care. Yesterday was particularly bad for me. I was functioning on virtually no sleep after 3 nights of bad lows and I was barely able to get through work.
So, here’s what I do when this happens (it’s actually what I’m doing right now): I take a couple of days for me. I stay home and exercise and focus on the things that I need to do. I treat myself to something nice (a shopping trip, a day at the spa, whatever) if I am successful. I go for walks and I do the things that make me happy. I also think about all the GOOD things I’m doing to take care of my diabetes already (exercising, eating right, etc).
It sounds like you have a really good first step with your diet. There are so many people who have a tremendous problem controlling what they eat, so you’ve got one big issue addressed already!! Also, don’t think about your A1C so much. For me, I find that too overwhelming. Instead, think about each single day as one day to do things right. If that’s too much, just focus on doing things right before noon for one day and take it from there. Sometimes, I have to break things down like that to really be successful.
T1D is incredibly time-consuming and intensive to manage. So your feelings of burnout ARE NOT unwarranted. But no one can do this crap for you. Scare tactics don’t really work for me either, because they just make me depressed and care even less. Don’t think about that. Just think about today and what you can do TODAY to make yourself feel good.
I hope some of this helps.
And remember, there are lots of us who feel EXACTLY the way you do.