Why focus on the stuff you hate about diabetes focus on how it has affected your life in a positive way. The past year have been murder for my family but diabetes has not been one of those hardships. If anything diabetes has helped me refocus my life. I am now eating 100% healthier then I ever had. My weight is down and I am wearing pants I would of had a hard time fitting into in my high school days. Still not at my wrestling weight but not far off. I am making a point to exercise and am in many ways putting my bodies needs before my belly's. I had given into many impulses over the years drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and as I have finally realized food of those my last vice to tackle is tobacco and this one to will pass when I am ready.
My time in the hospital made me realize that life could be a lot worse, it did more then that it made me want to live. Live for myself, my wife and most of all for my children. In many ways coming down with diabetes was like being reborn. It has given me more then a desire to just get by and accept life as it is but a desire to better my life and others. It has given me a focus for when life gets me down it's an enemy I can name and fight when nothing else seems to be falling in place. It has given me control. Do I feel like I am walking on a tightrope in high winds some tells? Hell yes, but I also know that I have the determination and the knowledge to get it done and get it done right. I have lost the "I don't care" attitude, I care now more then I ever have.
My relationship with my mother has improved 100%, Both of us being T-1 has brought understanding and respect to one another. My mother was the first to point out that I might want to consider switching majors and look into nursing and become a CDE down the road. I have seen her start to take better care of herself and understand now that most of her control issues stem not from not caring or knowing but like me she is a creature of habit and a perfectionist and lets her frustration at times get in her way. (Also think she could do with a better endo but that is a different story).
I have learned to truly hold onto those special moments with my daughters. Whether it is my oldest catching me snacking and asking if I had taken a shot so I could eat it or asking for it cause i should eat to much sweat stuff because of "daddy betes". Or my youngest bring me my meter and asking my to "Test Blood", (she has brought it to me twice now when I have had lows sneak up on me) or her demanding to push the plunger on for my injection. Today I noticed how much they are growing up. My youngest showing me her new trick of climbing out of the crib and my eldest waking up getting dressed by herself(garishly at that) and going and playing in the backyard with out waking anyone up.(Ok woke up to a panic and had to have a talk with her about going outside without saying anything but still amazes me)
Do I find diabetes to be a hassle at times? Yes but I have learned to laugh at many things, the I couldn't do that or I don't know how you manage comments are answered with a deadpanned "Yes you could if you wanted to live" or "I have no choice but to manage if I want to live". The looks from testing or injecting in public I don't even notice and could give a hoot if it offends someone.
Diabetes is not something to be hated but should be embraced. Like any true enemy, you must look at it not with hatred but with understanding and knowledge. Hatred clouds your judgment and decisions. You must not only understand diabetes, you must know yourself. Don't just settle for life as it is make it better. Don't settle for a blood sugar in range that is good for a person with diabetes, fight for being in what is considered normal for a non diabetic.(Still waiting for my next endo visit and being told my A1c is to good, Looking at mid 5s this time and no not to many lows). Hatred is a lose of control and as a person with diabetes we should all demand control of our diabetes.