6 Months

Hi Guys

I feel bad that I have been gone so long. My pregnancy was very tough. Very tough. I was in the hospital for appointments between my OBGYN and my Endocrinologist 3 days a week. At 7 months, I spent four days in the hospital because of high stress and trouble controlling my sugars. I became painfully brittle and was put on bed rest at 23 weeks. I was taking a 2:1 insulin ratio and split dosing my Lantus (which I am doing again).

I was just released from hospital a few days ago. Acute DKA- I had an undiagnosed ear infection. It’s been 5 years since the last time that happened. We’ve had a rough go. We’ve had a very rough go. I was so proud of myself. I gained so much control over my diabetes for the first time in my life, I felt like I owned it, not the other way around. I’m still working on that. I’m feeling pretty good right now, physically. Lows though. Lots and lots of lows since coming home.

Anyhow, concerning my pregnancy, at 34 weeks, I couldn’t explain it, but I told my OBGYN to induce me. The baby needed to come out. I’d been plagued by borderline blood pressure for 10 weeks and bad swelling from my thighs down. I was exhausted and polyhydramnios (so, huge). Honestly, I couldn’t explain it, I just had the overwhelming feeling that it was time. I was right. Only a few days later I started getting sick. I just felt so tired. I could barely stand. Crossing the street from one appointment to the next was exhausting. The following day, I realized I hadn’t felt the baby much. It had stopped moving inside me. I was trying not to panic. I started throwing up, a lot. Sickness hadn’t been much an issue in my pregnancy so late term sickness was unusual. I mentioned it to my doctors several times over the course of the three days before my Son was born. I was ignored. I was placated. I am still angry.

Sometimes, you know. You know when it is time. You know when something is wrong. When will I learn not to be quiet when my instincts tell me something?

I was called back in for a last minute NST, because the baby hadn’t moved all day. I mentioned it during my first NST, and even spent several hours under observation. They told me to go home. Well, when I got there, they prepped the OR and I had an emergency c-section.

My Son was still-born, with no heartbeat, at 4:12am on April 7th. I had preeclampsia. I had mentioned the symptoms countless times, logged and provided blood pressure stats and photos of the swelling, I was measuring weeks overdue at 5 weeks premature. I was ignored. How did this even happen? My Son was revived (Thank God). He had multi-system organ failure, lactic acidosis and subcutaneous fat necrosis at birth. He nearly died. We spent 51 days in the NICU at 5 separate hospitals after his birth. We did not bring him home until he was 2 months and 3 weeks old.

My son is finally out of the woods. At any time, he could have died. He had a bleed in his occipital lobe at 10 days. He had hypercalcemia. We’ve been seeing doctors every week for months. Last week we finally got the A-Ok that we can stop going to the pediatrician every week and that he can be safely taken off of his medication. We are finally, finally home free.

Every day I look at him and I thank God. I thank God that he is alive. I thank God that having him did not kill me. Thinking back to the day he was born still breaks me. That I had to hear he may not live through the day.

My diabetes is still out of whack after having him. It became very hard to control, and then my hair started falling out. I couldn’t sleep and then I would sleep for ridiculous amounts of time. I ended up extremely sick with pneumonia and then DKA. I’m really trying to fight back. My Son did. I owe him my life.

I recently found out that my Dad is buying me an insulin pump as well. He wants to know what one to get me, but I don’t know much about them. I am interested in the Omnipod 2. Is it out yet? Is the omnipod available here in BC? Is it expensive to maintain? There are a lot of benefits to not having tubing, and not having to remove it to shower, swim or bathe. I am on Lantus and Humalog. Is it compatible with my needs? Is there anyone who can advise me here? I really need something easy to use. One of my major challenges with diabetes has been that I have severe discalculia. Numbers confuse and frustrate me, and it is work for me to remember how to calculate for different things. I use an insulin calculator to help me dose.

Anyhow. This is everything on my mind tonight. Thanks for taking the time to read.

You have been to hell and back, thank God your baby survived. You will get your D under control. You have been through such a truamatic time, go easy on yourself. He's gorgeous btw.

Thank you for your comment. :) I really think that at some point I should be talking to someone about having been through what we have. I want to put that behind me and just be a good Mother. Sometimes I think my remaining grief over that is a hindrance. He is so amazing, and so beautiful. I am so blessed. A few more hours waiting and my life may have ended up so differently.

No harm in talking to someone. You are a wonderful mum already.

God bless you!! yYOU DID FOLLOW THROUGH ON YOUR INSTINCTS. You listened to that "Still small voice'"(FROM gOD) that told you it was time. Maybe you would NOT have been caled back for the last-minute NST and subsequent c-seciton had you not gone in. You have such a handsome, wonderful son, and your father is so loving and caring to get you a pump.It WILL help with the numbers problem: It calculates the math for you. I am not familiar with the Omnipod, as I have always used Medtronic Minimed pumps. But ANY pump will help you greatly.

Have a great day.

God bless,

I see the ultimate inner strength of a woman and a mother! You have such a beautiful baby boy!Indeed the pump will help you immensely. Take your time learning all about it. I wish you and your son the best...

I'd watch out for that kid, that's a "I need the car keys!" look if I've ever seen one! That's a hair-raising tale and I'm glad that you both survived! I'm like Brunetta about the pump. I think that it's great of dad to offer to get one if you think that your numbers/ rates/ ratios are set. I'm sure the "lots of lows" you mention is nerve wracking (just wait until you have to chase junior around...talk about a workout!) but if you think your numbers are pretty close, a pump may help you track your data and give you some additional control. I found it a huge improvement but had a very odd "plan" (sic...) when I got my pump.

Glad that you both are fine. Very cute eyes he has. God bless him and the innocent look. Omnipod is great in water. My daughter swims almost an hour with it. You will definitely like the pump for all the freedom that comes with it. Omnipod though bulky on younger kids, not so much for adults - best is that its hidden. Only negative I see is you will need your PDM for bolusing so will have to carry with you all the time.

I spent hours after this reading about the omnipod, because to be honest, I am kind of loving the Animas OneTouch Ping too. But the endocrinologist wants me on the omnipod system. I am choosing to be happy with this. :)
Thank you for all of your kind words about my Son. He is my reason for living. He is definitely a precocious, wonderful little boy.

Holy cow, what a harrowing experience you've had. He, like you, is absolutely beautiful :)

It surprised me to learn how common my experience is, too. Not just for diabetics, but for a lot of new moms in general. I met a lot of people with NICU babies, some who were much worse for wear and endured much longer hospital stays. I am blessed to call some of these people my friends now, today. All we had some days was the distraction of talking to one another. Kind of like us diabetics, here! My Son is definitely a cutie. :D Thanks so much for reading my entry. I hope that it doesn't scare anyone else from trying to have children. I hope what people take from my experience is just not to be placated and allow themselves to be ignored by doctors- even well-meaning ones. I love my medical team, but I admit that I am still feeling very betrayed that my concerns fell on deaf ears for so long. You know your body better than anyone else!

I'm very happy for you. Your son is very cute. I really believe that going through difficult and even trauma can make us stronger and better. We just have to learn and grown properly from the experience.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger - Nietzsche

ps. Don't forget, "your" medical team is also very important and now it will be different than you son's medical team.


Thank you, Brian! Yes, I am working on finding a happy medium between myself and my Son. It will be easier now that he has few appointments of his own now. It was a non-stop, every day, around the clock medical crisis for him for the longest time. Thank you for sharing, Shoshana27- I haven't spoken to any other diabetics whose pregnancies were like mine. It is comforting to know that you managed to have two more children! We haven't decide if we want to try again, but we're keeping the option open. I have had diabetes for 13 years, but only diagnosed 7 years ago.


Best of future luck to you and your beautiful baby boy. He will have a story to tell his future wife about his birth. Bless you and your family.