I live in a place where quality health care is limited; I think doctors here don't tell you anything because they think everyone is below average intelligence. Which I am not so I read and read, and try to come to some sensible understanding. Two months ago I was told I was a diabetic, given a monitor with no instructions, and told to come back in 3 months after another A1c test. I also received a 30 minute lecture on the wonders of noncarb dieting. After reading Glucose sugar 101 (great book), I really started to understand what was happening to my blood sugar. It was really helpful to me because it was a reality check and I could control the numbers if I ate properly. (that is me - that is not necessarily everyone).
Things are generally going very well. My biggest problem is the lack of support from my husband. I am really disappointed. when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had surgery, I read a lot, was very supportive, asked questions, etc. But my husband doesn't want to talk about my diabetes, does not want to change the way he eats (he is very obese), and is thoughtless at times when suggesting we all stop and get dessert somewhere. Yesterday HE called my doctors office, and he got ticked off that I was using more than the 30strips a month the doctor has automatically supplied. I was somehow not following doctor's orders and I hadn't told him - what did I think I was doing blah blah blah. Of course he goes to McDonalds every morning for breakfast.
It is my body. I am taking care of it. My extra strips cost less than his daily Micky D's breakfasts.
Hi, you might want to think about coming down to either Chesapeake or Norfolk VA for your endocrinology needs. I work in healthcare and worked in Chesapeake and we would get a LOT of patients from NC in our office, basically for the same reasons you listed. Just lack of decent health care to choose from. It would be a bit of a drive, but I think well worth it to get a good endo who can manage you well and work with you.
Sorry for the lack of support from the husband. That has to be more fustrating than anything.
You have found an amazing site here for support. Glad you joined us.
Hi. When does one decide to go to an endocrinologist? my current doctor is internal medicine/family doctor. I don't mind the drive. We go to Norfolk for anything that requires better medical care than we can get here. My husbands urologist, both of our eye doctors, my dentist, and my gyn and surgeon. I will ask my gyn for a referral - he is my favorite.
I've been married for a long, long time. My husband is a good person. We don't have a lot in common but his inability to support me in this - hard to process and figure out how to deal with it without getting to emotionally overwraught.
I certainly agree. Me personally I'd recommend seeing a Endocrinologist pretty much right away, simply because Diabetes can be really a complicated disease and everyone varies a lot in how best to manage, how to treat, etc. I've noticed a lot of times its just beyond what an internal medicine/family practice Dr can manage successfully, and a lot of times the ones who do are behind in the most up to date ways of treating this. My endo is really good and is part of Sentara Medical Group if you want a name. There are two doctors and a CDE in the practice. Also they have Sentara MyChart. Not sure if you are familiar with that or not, but its a great way of maintaining contact with your provider in between appts as well. Let me know.
Sounds good. If you don't mind. Doctors in Elizabeth City all have the same problem. I know best. I know best for everyone. And do not use the Internet. Beach doctors aren't much better and they are limited.
Chesapeake, Norfolk, Va Beach, doesn't much matter. Once you've drive an hour another 15 minutes either way doesn't make much difference. Besides gives me an excuse to go to the big city.
Hi there OBX OMA and welcome! Great work on taking charge of your body.
The psychology of people in dealing with certain health problems are rather complicated and sometimes unpredictable. There are some, like you, who may realizes that it should be acted upon and there are some that may feel invulnerable thus being defiant or indifferent. Sometimes the more we force the issue...the more unwilling one can be. Baby steps...a few tips: its wonderful that you are leading by example! Eat healthy, and encourage exercise and activities. Household members "get used" to daily routine when they see it everyday. Another is education, education, education...maybe try sharing some "diabetes info with your hubby (little by little, like healthy advantages and diabetes complications...not a whole encyclopedia!). Some people act differently on an issue simply for the fact they have little understanding or knowledge on it. Another is encourage doing things and activities together...maybe shop grocery stuffs together or walk together...
It is understandable that family support is important to us. Right now, I think you are on the right track on taking care of yourself. Molding a disposition takes time and patience. But when somebody cares... I'm sure there is some sort of willingness there :) I wish you all the best!
After 40 some years of marriage, I have come to acknowledge the only person you can change is yourself. There is a difference between caring and playing the role of caretaker. I know you mean well, but we have real differences in our relationship and his responses are a reflection of those issues. I am not forcing him to do anything. He eats breakfast at McDonalds every morning. He drinks 3-4 cokes a day. He will not walk. The only veggies are corn and peas, which I always serve with red meat and potatoes.
I was doing okay with that until he started telling me what I could or could not do about monitoring. - and I was not being rational.
Teena, thanks - I know it is complicated - and so do you. I appreciate your taking the time to respond.
Thank you Christy - definitely will do this. May wait a month to go back to my current doc. I was hoping to find a doctor for all seasons. Looking over the info, I think it will be helpful because of some other meds I take for other parts!
You will hear its your diabetes but your husband sounds like he is selfish, I might be wrong but if I am I am sorry. Your doing great you would be surprised how many type 2s never hear reduce there carb intake. I learned this 27 yrs ago by testing, self taught if you may.
The word I use is thoughtless (in my calmer days). Passive-Aggressive. Denial. and interestingly nonconfrontational. (sp)
Wow - you are self-taught. That is impressive. I would be no where without the internet and Amazon.
One the advantages of being in an area with limited access to health care is that my level of confidence in what a local doc tells me is about 10%. It has resulted in being quite skeptical and a self-advocate.
I am a bit bummed because I was testing 80's and 90's FBG and after meals. And the last few days it has bumped up to 110. I read that stress can impact glucose level. Any thoughts
I bet you feel better getting that off your chest. I am in agreement with you. It is you life, your body and only you can take care of YOU. Bet your hubby is in denial over his own eating habits. Food can have an addictive quality to it. I know from all the sugar I used to eat and now I have diabetes. You have to take care of you first. Cannot be effective in others lives until you are effective in your own life. Wish you the best.
Hmmmmm, your husband & my ex wife should have been introduced. 30 years ago, at 405 lbs. when I decided I was determined to lose weight, she did everything she could to sabotage my efforts. (she was also overweight, but only about 80 lbs). Every night, I'd hear "Honey, will you get us a pizza....." Honey, lets have some Rocky Road," etc. At dinner, she'd dump half her food on my plate. For Valentine's day, she handed me a huge heart-shaped box of candy & she turned on the tears when I yelled at her. When I'd get ready to go out for my walk, she'd say "Oh....don't leave me alone in the house."
After several serious talks (which didn't help) I finally realized that if I wanted to lose weight, I'd have to lose her first. I did both. 180 lbs. in my photo.
Amazing how a spouse's insecurity can destroy health.
sorry to hear you had such an experience, it is like living with an ennemi; these kind of people don't want to loose power over you, I think. When you are sick you are weak and they feel stronger.
Some real truth in that. Easy to fall into 'roles' that you are comfortable with after so many years. My husband likes to be the 'caretaker' which is interesting in that with the diabetes diagnosis he hasn't assumed any of that. But then I have let him caretake for a long time in other ways. Any change causes stress in any relationship.
There is no quick fix with diabetes. I've always been into quick fixes and instant gratification with food, money, and other things. Close your eyes and don't worry about it. This is a big change for me.
